06/04/2010 05:49 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Two Ways To Get Fired From The Oil Spill Cleanup Effort

Are you an undocumented immigrant that wants to pursue a path to citizenship by contributing your services to help America? Well, by now, you may have already planned to head down to the Gulf region, to help with all of the oil that's washing up onshore. You know what, though? Don't do that!

Federal immigration officials have been visiting command centers on the Gulf Coast to check the immigration status of response workers hired by BP and its contractors to clean up the immense oil spill.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) in Louisiana confirmed that its agents had visited two large command centers--which are staging areas for the response efforts and are sealed off to the public--to verify that the workers there were legal residents.

"We visited just to ensure that people who are legally here can compete for those jobs--those people who are having so many problems," said Temple H. Black, a spokesman for ICE in Louisiana.

Black went on to say, "We don't normally go and check people's papers--we're mostly focused on transnational gangs, predators, drugs. This was a special circumstance because of the oil spill." And hey, I don't want to diminish the importance of immigration enforcement efforts, but maybe it'd be okay to just stay focused on drugs, predators, and transnational gangs for the time being.

That all comes courtesy of Erin Polgreen, guesting at Attackerman, who also points out that another good way to get fired from the oil spill relief effort is to show up and use protective gear that wasn't provided by BP.

Fishermen who've been hired to do cleanup and containment work in BP's Gulf Coast oil spill have been told they would be fired for using their own respirators or safety equipment that wasn't provided by BP, reported Louisiana Environmental Action Network, a Louisana-based environmental group.

"It appears that, despite the obvious potential for exposure to respiratory toxins, BP does not consider respiratory protection necessary equipment," said Paul Orr, Lower Mississippi Riverkeeper in LEAN's statement. "And even so to prevent the fishermen from using their own respiratory protection if they chose to do so is deeply troubling."

So, all of this is obviously fantastic news.

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