So the new new thing in Birtherism -- the hot conspiracy for interplanetary peyote-monkeys -- involves the complaint that President Barack Obama has a "Connecticut Social Security Number" -- which seems pretty pointless, unless I've been overlooking that section of the Constitution that renders people with such Social Security numbers ineligible to serve as President of the United States.
This whole matter came up in a White House briefing after Birther White House Correspondent Les Kinsolving peppered Robert Gibbs with questions about the matter that were raised by interplanetary peyote-monkey digest WorldNetDaily:
So, this matter is pretty easily dispensed with. I'm going to pass the mic to the good folks from The Week:
What is the Social Security number claim?
Some commentators on the far right are suggesting that Obama has a fake or stolen Social Security number, which would be a crime. An article on World Net Daily by "birther" Jerome Corsi cites two private investigators who say that the first three digits of Obama's Social Security Number are 042, meaning it was issued in Connecticut, not Hawaii. They also claim it was issued between 1977 and 1979.
Why is that (supposedly) incriminating?
The report says Obama's first job was at a Oahu Baskin Robbins in 1975 -- when he was 13 -- and since you need a Social Security number to get a job, the logic goes, his current number must not be his original one. Secondly, the claim continues, Obama has no known connection to Connecticut from that time period, and the Social Security Administration wouldn't issue a Connecticut number to a Hawaii resident. Susan Daniels, one of the investigators in the report, says she's "staking [her] reputation on a conclusion that Obama's use of this Social Security number is fraudulent."
Is there an explanation?
In 1975, Obama was too young to work legally, Carole Bengele Gilbert at Associated Content points out. She speculates he might have been paid "under the table" for his Baskin Robbins labors. In this scenario, he might not have been given a Social Security number until he was 16 or 17.
What about the Connecticut number?
Numbers are assigned based on the return address on the request envelope, not residency. And Gilbert notes that Obama's father, also named Barack Hussein Obama, lived in Connecticut for several years. "Dr. Conspiracy" at the site Obama Conspiracy Theories hazards the guess that -- assuming the 042-xx-xxxx number really is Obama's -- the president "got his SSN as a child living in Indonesia and the application was just processed in Connecticut."
Because we are a great and generous nation, America will nevertheless continue to care for these interplanetary peyote-monkeys of the Birther movement, making sure they are fed and have shelter and continue to use the advanced indoor plumbing technology of our society to relieve themselves of their waste.