'Jersey Shore' Action Figures: Making Sure Our Children Know The Importance Of GTL (PICTURES)

The second season of "Jersey Shore" (which as we know doesn't take place in Jersey Shore) is upon us, which means that the tantastic Guidos will be in our lives a weekly basis. But what about the children who can't stay up late and watch squat women devour pickles. Won't somebody please think of the children??? How will they learn about GTL?

Problem solved. Introducing... talking "Jersey Shore" dolls. Snooki says "Pickles is my things," The Situation says "This is 'The Situation." and Pauly D says something that nobody will remember because let's face it, he's not nearly as quotable (though he does seem to have a nice dog collar on). (via BWE)

Comments

[Veronica Monteleone]

08:32 PM on 07/13/2010

Now this is F*$#ed up. Why, is the question?

[ConcernedAboutRFuture]

02:37 AM on 07/11/2010

Um.... they slimmed down snooki and made her look human. Whoa!

[CynAnne]

09:40 PM on 07/10/2010

So plastic, so useless, so glossed and fake...how do we tell them from the actual cast-members, again...? ;)

[mrobertgrunwald]

01:07 AM on 07/09/2010

I knew a girl in college who had a "Talking Snooki." I think she's a carnival worker in Oxnard now.

[inthedesert]

08:11 PM on 07/08/2010

THESE HAVE BEEN RECALLED!!! THEY PUT PENISES ON THE WOMEN AND VAGINAS ON THE MEN BY MISTAKE AT THE FACTORY.

[lucylou]

05:19 PM on 07/08/2010

I don't know about you, but that Wobbly Head looks an awful lot like Silvio Berlusconi back in the days he was a crooner...(and before he started playing from the Mussolini handbook)

[tcny]

02:31 PM on 07/08/2010

Humongous marketing opportunity lost -- "Snooki," in real life, already looks like those little Tr0ll dolls that girls stuck on the ends of their pencils back in the 70s & 80s, so the tie-in would be a natural.
And how much did they have to pretty up the Mike "The Dog-Faced situation" doll before the injection-molding machines wouldn't vomit plastic all over the factory floor.

[CrackPatty]

11:42 AM on 07/08/2010

The apocalypse is surely upon us.

[ontariogirl]

12:40 PM on 07/08/2010

Wait.....I see locusts out my window.....

[THE1TRUECHIEF]

11:26 AM on 07/08/2010

It took a while but HP found a story that is stupider than Sarah Palin although the quotes from the action figures are about as insipid as SP's.

[me again]

06:50 AM on 07/08/2010

must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...must get a snooki bobble-head...not.

[StevieTheK]

11:16 PM on 07/07/2010

They're barely intelligible in real life

[75thRanger]

07:18 PM on 07/07/2010

"Snooki" is WAAAAY fatter than her "Action Figure".

[CLamb]

11:35 PM on 07/07/2010

Her eyes aren't blue either.

[popman]

07:03 PM on 07/07/2010

Wow, my life is now complete !!!

[tom90069]

06:33 PM on 07/07/2010

pauly is missing his tatts
no sale

[berryessence]

04:07 PM on 07/07/2010

WHY?