Alan Richman's 15 Tips for Ordering Wine In A Restaurant

GQ.com:

1. The sommerlier pours. You sip. You hesitate. Good move. Never say yes to a wine until you're sure it's sound. Try it a second time. A third, minutes later, if you still have doubts. Like sex on a first date, you'll regret it if you're not sure.

2. So much should not be asked of a waiter: Stock market tips. Medical advice. What wine to drink with your meal.

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Comments

[Xihuitl]

04:05 PM on 08/26/2010

Is this Alan Richman joking or is there supposed to be expert advice in here? Of course, you should sniff the cork. That's how you get an idea whether there are problems with the cork and there are going to be problems with your "corked" wine. Then again a good sommelier has already sniffed the cork for you. What a jerk. He doesn't even explain what "corked" wine is -- which is basically the only reason you can send a wine back. And you can smell that -- the experience only gets worse from then on. True you might not be really sure until the third sip. And, uh, nothing about color? If your wine is brown that's not good. Checking the printing on the cork sounds incredibly naf to me. And Americans really bring wine glasses to a restaurant? These are investment bankers, right?

[Steve1976]

11:00 AM on 08/27/2010

The cork is presented to the consumer to inspect for leakage-- which can spoil the wine. If consumers are concerned about wine fragrance smell the few ounces of wine which the waiter has poured into your glass. After approving the selection the waiter will then pour the remainder of the wine. However, If one wants to "sniff" the cork go right ahead. It's a free country. .

[raker]

08:22 AM on 08/26/2010

Some of these tips are obviously tongue-in-cheek. If you realize halfway through your glass that the wine is bad, it's not too late to call the waiter back. The first sip often tastes not-so-great to me. Three sips in, if it's bad you'll know. And I don't know from ordering by vintage; if the name on the bottle matches the name on the wine list, we're on. The idea of sending back a wine because it doesn't live up to its vintage strikes me as a tad precious.

What's the deal with all the bad wine these days. I was a waiter ages ago and opened one bad bottle in five years. Today, at least a quarter of the bottles I open at home are spoiled, usually with moldy corks. If I sniff a cork, it's after getting an off-taste and checking to see if there's evidence for spoilage.

[ibwilliamsi]

09:58 PM on 08/25/2010

In 2005 before Katrina my husband and I visited NOLA and dined at Brennan's. They have a 30 page double columned wine list. Being from Oregon we ordered a bottle of Willamette Valley Vineyards Pinot Noir. It took our server quite some time to come back to tell us that they were having some difficulty finding the bottle, and then that Sommelier needed to decant the bottle. Imagine our surprise when our $23 bottle turned out to be a 1994 Reserve bottle, and that there were plenty more in the cellar. We walked away wishing that we had ordered whatever they had in the cellar and shipped it home. Delicious!

[mediamarv]

09:47 PM on 08/25/2010

Of course you ask the server... they've just tried the night's specials where more than likely the chef has made wine recommendations, plus they are familiar with the menu, and part of their job (and the part they like) is to know what wine compliments the dish best, especially if you're not familiar with it (took awhile to realize that a Vouvray or a Pinot Gris [either CA or OR] goes. quite well with tilapia).
Here in Sonoma county, we are fortunate to have very knowledgeable servers, but I have asked in Beaufort, SC and was not disappointed by the recommended wine.
Some one sounds like a real snob, the kind who tries to make up for their ignorance by spouting wine jargon they read somewhere.

[Lumn8tion]

08:05 PM on 08/25/2010

Never ask your waiter for wine suggestions?!?
Really?
I found some great wines by doing this!
Anyone else?