Deficit commission member and farm boy poseur Alan Simpson continued to catch flak for daring to envision a magical cow with enough udders to lactate away world hunger and enough metaphorical oomph to shame the elderly. Speaking of Jesus-like abilities, Glenn Beck managed to shill for Goldline AND stroke his prophet complex AND trivialize our nation's civil rights heroes...all at once! Out on the campaign trail, America familiarized itself with papa grizzly Joe Miller, Jim Clyburn played spoiler in the write-in race between "ur so gay" and "metallica rulez" and Sharron Angle reiterated her staunch opposition to threesomes. Happy Birthday, 19th Amendment, this is HUFFPOST HILL for Thursday, August 26th, 2010:
CHRIS DODD APPLYING DOUBLE STANDARD TO ELIZABETH WARREN - The Connecticut senator has previously questioned whether the government's top TARP overseer possesses the experience necessary to lead the forthcoming Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Funny thing is, this sort of thing hasn't bothered him in the past. Shahien Nasiripour: "A review of transcripts from past confirmation hearings shows that Dodd has never questioned the management experience of nominees to head federal agencies his committee oversees. The heads of the Securities and Exchange Commission, Department of Housing and Urban Development, Federal Housing Administration, the Export-Import Bank and the National Credit Union Administration all survived hearings under Dodd's chairmanship without him once asking a question about the experience needed to guide their respective agencies." http://huff.to/cbkhdq
ALAN SIMPSON STILL EMBROILED IN BUSTY BOVINE-GATE - You would be forgiven for thinking "a milk cow with 310 million tits" is the title of an unpublished Gary Larson collection, however it's actually deficit commission member Alan Simpson's classification of Social Security. The White House is standing by him, but a coalition of Social Security advocates representing some 50 million Americans called on Obama to fire Simpson from the deficit commission. "While I appreciate that Alan Simpson has apologized, he still must go," said Nancy Altman, co-chair of Strengthen Social Security.
North Carolina Senate candidate Elaine Marshall, running even with Richard Burr, jumped on Simpson, indicating the issue has some electoral pop.. "Alan Simpson's remarks were disrespectful to women and to Social Security recipients. He should resign or the president should fire him," Marshall said, speaking at the Levine Museum of the New South in Charlotte, according to her campaign.
MoveOn.org: "Sen. Simpson has made clear, again and again, that he has contempt for people who rely on Social Security, and will use his position to rant at anyone who doesn't agree with his plans to cut benefits." http://huff.to/b9xsoF
We can conclude at least one thing from this controversy: Alan Simpson, the son of a former senator, is a fake farm boy. He exposed his aw-shucks shtick as a fraud by calling a cow's teats "tits" in his email. Tits? Cows don't have tits, dude.
Today is star reporter Jared Allen's last day at The Hill. He's headed to FD Public Affairs.
19TH AMENDMENT TURNS 90, WOMYN CELEBRATE - While we're on the topic of devious lefty schemes, Happy Birthday, 19th Amendment!. 90 years ago today, agents of the liberal, anti-y chromosome agenda triumphed over family values conservatives -- who were just worried about America losing its way -- when Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby codified the constitutional provision giving women the right to vote (fun parliamentary fact: an amendment must be ratified by the Secretary of State only if his name is 'Bainbridge Colby').
Rough Timing For Women's Equality Day - At the same time that the White House is standing strong against the National Organization for Women and the Older Women's League, both of which are calling for Alan Simpson to be fired for his "310 million tits" comment, it's declaring today "Women's Equality Day." Deemed Obama in a proclamation: "NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim August 26, 2010, as Women's Equality Day. I call upon the people of the United States to celebrate the achievements of women and recommit themselves to the goal of true gender equality in this country."
OWL didn't appreciate the White House accepting his apology on their behalf. A letter from OWL to the White House: "I sincerely hope that Mr. Simpson apologized to you for his embarrassing actions and that is why you have chosen to accept his apology and keep him on board...OWL's members believe that choosing to keep Mr. Simpson as your co-chair sends a message that your Administration does not take sexism seriously and also that you are not concerned about Mr. Simpson's views regarding Social Security. There are a number of occasions where racial discrimination appeared both within government and elsewhere, and where your Administration acted swiftly and appropriately to correct wrongdoing. Why is one form of discrimination any different from another?"
Jeremy The Intern initially joined the call for Simpson's termination Thursday, but stepped back, speculating that perhaps political correctness had gone too far. Thanks, JB!
UN Cowed In Congo - Marisa Tramontano and Michael Soussan ask why the UN isn't prosecuting the massive, organized gang rape in the Congo earlier this summer: "According to witness reports, 200 to 400 militiamen were involved in this organized act of sexual terrorism. It occurred only 20 miles away from a UN peacekeeping base. Over three weeks after the attack, the UN is still unable to say whether any of its troops in the area were even aware of what was going on. What is sure is that they left it to exposed NGO workers like Cragin to sound the alarm...While it is too late to stop the individual perpetrators of this horror, it is not too late to take their leadership to task, and begin the process of bringing them to justice in an internationally mandated court, should it not be feasible to have them tried in Congo itself." http://huff.to/cJooQ0
Mark Blumenthal On Potentially The Most Fluid Race This Fall: There are hopeful signs for Kendrick Meek: Quinnipiac finds that nearly half of the Crist Democrats (45%) say they haven't heard enough about Meek to rate him, and only 20% report an unfavorable rating. Quinnipiac finds that half of the Crist Democrats are self-described liberals (46%), and Ipsos finds 36% "strongly" identify with the Democratic party. Quinnipiac finds that nearly a quarter (23%) are African American. So collectively these results suggest that Meek has much room to grow, and that "political gravity" is poised to work in his favor. On the other hand, they also suggest that some Democrats will stick with Crist no matter what. One thing is certain: Crist's independent candidacy will make voter decisions more complicated than in other races and, for that reason, potentially far more volatile. Voter preferences could shift, and fast, at any point this fall (including the final week). http://huff.to/ckXcrx
DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - From Arthur Delaney: "Today's story about a new study of depression among moms with infants in poverty was just too easy for Judgmental Internet People. Herewith, a sampling of their very worst comments: 'Why are these women having babies they can't afford????????' 'I am sick up to my eyeballs and have ZERO compassion for all these women and FATHERLESS CHILDREN!' 'Can someone please explain to me the difference between having a child when you cannot support yourself and child abuse?' 'Maybe if your poor, you shouldn't be having kids? Nah, lets blame everyone else...' 'You're in severe poverty and yet you decide to have a child because... ? Sorry - with the options afforded people from condoms to the before and after pill - there's just no excuse.'" http://huff.to/9Vsh5j
In case you were wondering, Lisa Murkowski, if she loses after absentee ballots are counted, can NOT run as an independent, other than as a write in. She could, however, run on the Libertarian or Democratic lines.
Don't be bashful: Send tips/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to huffposthill@huffingtonpost.com. Follow us on Twitter - @HuffPostHill
CORDOBA HOUSE SUPPORTERS TIE LAWMAKERS TO ANTI-MUSLIM VIOLENCE IN NEW AD - A serious new video from the Agenda Project -- and we're talking "piano score that doesn't stray from the bass clef" serious here -- "directly" links equivocation about, and outright opposition to, the proposed Islamic center in Downtown Manhattan to the stabbing of a Muslim cab driver this week. Sam Stein: "The video, released only on the web, is perhaps the hardest shot taken to date at the pool of Democratic politicians who have either backed away from or directly questioned the construction of the so-called 'Ground Zero mosque.' And by invoking the recent incident of violence against a Muslim cab driver -- however hazy the details are around that episode -- the group makes a powerful case that social tensions have been brought to a boiling point, in large part because of political leadership." http://huff.to/af5on7
Ben Smith decodes the Mideast peace rhetoric http://politi.co/cPUCRp
MEET JOE MILLER, SENATOR FROM ALASKA? - The specter of yet another fringe Tea Party politician joining the upper chamber raises the question: can an anti-Social Security, anti-Education Department, anti-unemployment benefits, global warming skeptic be so unremarkable that he becomes just another back bencher? Elyse Siegel on a man striving to be the far right's Herb Kohl: "In an appearance on ABC News/Washington Post's 'Top Line' last month, Miller argued that legislation seeking to extend jobless benefits to millions of Americans out of work violates the United States Constitution.'The unemployment compensation benefits have gotten -- first of all, it's not constitutionally authorized,' explained the Alaska hopeful. 'I think that's the first thing that's gotta be looked at, so I do not favor their extension.'" http://huff.to/bjt7md
CLYBURN NOT VOTING FOR ALVIN GREENE - House Majority Whip James Clyburn (D - S.C.), who previously suggested that the Senate campaign of upstart candidate and fellow South Carolinian Alvin Greene (D - The Magical Factory That Manufactures Those Dreams Where You're Falling) was a Republican ploy, announced that he won't vote for his party's nominee. Clyburn has said that he will instead cast a write-in vote for "Mazie Ferguson." Allow us to take this opportunity to throw our weight behind "so's ur mom," who's locked in a heated campaign against his political arch-nemesis "
Delaney, fwiw, wrote in "weed" in the 2008 election "for some downticket race" he can't recall, he tells HuffPost Hill. It may have been for his own write-in candidacy, a single-issue campaign dedicated to protecting single-beer sales: http://bit.ly/aYolHi
NEW GRAYSON AD FEATURES LEGIONS OF POLITICALLY ENGAGED ZOMBIE CHILDREN - The outspoken Florida congressman's newest spot, likely an attempt to soften his somewhat thorny reputation and curry favor with the brain-eating portion of the electorate, highlights his attempts to steer federal funding to Orlando-area schools. "Where am I going to go if they close my school?" a rosy-cheeked girl asks the camera. A woman, presumably her mother, responds "...my congressman, Alan Grayson, he SAVED our school." At this point Grayson appears, championing his work in Congress and his own family's experience in the public school system. Awaken, no doubt, by the life-giving tonality of their leader's gentle cooing, a group of possessed children begin chanting, "Alan Grayson saved our schools. Alan Grayson saved our schools! ALAN GRAYSON SAVED OUR SCHOOLS! ALAN GRAYSON SAVED OUR SCHOOLS!!!." The spot ends with Grayson's child-minions touching his face, probably for its healing properties. Bring our troops home. Stop Wall Street fat cats. Harness the undead. Vote Grayson. http://bit.ly/cll00y
Look, Orlando, it's either him or the guy with the neo-Nazi backing. http://huff.to/8YB8Ht
J.D. Hayworth has not contacted John McCain despite losing the Republican Senate primary in Arizona on Tuesday. "Note Hayworth basically did the same thing when Harry Mitchell beat him in 2006," a McCain aide told Politico. "J.D. has less class than the Salahis." Just to keep score on the ever-evolving John McCain scale of class, Snooki > Salahis > J.D. Hayworth. Got it. http://politi.co/cGuFs3
SO A RABBI, A PRIEST AND DEAD NANCY PELOSI WALK INTO A BAR... - Alabama Rep Bobby Bright (D - on't Forget To Tip Your Waiter) is under fire today for joking that Nancy Pelosi may die before the 112th Congress. Asked at a rally on Saturday whether he would vote for Pelosi again as speaker, Bright "joked that Pelosi might lose her own election, decide not to run for the speaker's job or otherwise not be available," according to the Montgomery Advertiser. Greg Sargent later reported that Bright also said, "heck, she might even get sick and die." LOL. http://huff.to/cpf3JL
When she's not being joke dead, Nancy Pelosi also engages in steamy, fiscally irresponsible three-ways with President Obama and Harry Reid...if we are to believe Sharron Angle's new ad. The campaign video, released today, insist the three Democrats make up "the most tragic love triangle in history" and frames their tenure as an orgy of reckless spending, hugging, cheek kissing and light saxophone music. Worse still, the advertisement suggests Harry Reid and his cronies have used your hard-earned tax dollars to build Wall Street bankers one of those game show money tubes...AND NOT A VERY GOOD ONE AT THAT. It should also be noted that the "I approve this message" segment distances Angle from this polyamorous legislating with b-roll of her getting loosey-goosey with her (only) husband. Video: http://bit.ly/cQO4Li
"Michael Shear, a White House reporter for the Washington Post, is joining the New York Times, according to sources with knowledge of the move...At the Times, he's expected to write primarily online as the lead voice for the paper's politics blog, The Caucus." Yahoo: http://yhoo.it/aLnWth
GLENN BECK: OUR NATION'S LONG, PAINFUL STRUGGLE WITH RACIAL INEQUALITY BROUGHT TO YOU BY GOLDLINE - As Tea Partiers fan out across our nation's capital for Glenn Beck's 8/28 rally, a promotional video featuring the man of the hour is raising eyebrows. The clip, which is introduced by Beck shilling for his unyielding sponsor Goldline and overlayed with a giant Goldline banner, links his event to civil rights pioneers such as Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks and Fredrick Douglas. So basically, view gold as a bulwark against the calamitous progressive change unleashed by these individuals' life work. We're confused. Media Matters: http://bit.ly/bjlmJz
But of course: "U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann has been added as a last-minute speaker at the Defending the American Dream ® Summit in Washington, D.C., Friday night, on the eve of Glenn Beck's controversial 'Restoring Honor' rally at the Lincoln Memorial." Star Tribune: http://bit.ly/9njbDX
BRISTOL PALIN TO JOIN DANCING WITH THE STARS - Toil in obscurity no longer, Palins, your time to shine is at hand. "Bristol Palin has been cast on the new season of 'Dancing with the Stars,' E! Online reports. This is not Bristol's first foray into television. She had a very brief stint playing herself on ABC's 'The Secret Life of the American Teenager' earlier this year." The Situation is also in line to be on the show. If they're dance partners, which one is the celebrity and which one is the random shlub? http://huff.to/bULRpx
JEREMY THE INTERN'S WEATHER REPORT - Tonight: As my fellow Bostonians say, it's going to be wicked awesome. Expect a near-cloudless sky, with temps dropping to the high-70s. Tomorrow: It stays in the low-80s with just a bit more humidity, but nothing too uncomfortable. Thanks, JB!
JB goes to the tropics: Now's about the time the hurricane season really gets interesting. Danielle is the nearest storm in the Atlantic. She might get strong, but will veer away from the East coast. Just beware of strong currents this weekend if you're going to the beach. The next storm is Earl, which is a stupid name for a hurricane. He's all the way out, so we're going to keep an eye on him. Expect him to intensify, and become a hurricane by the weekend, but will still pose no near-term (week or so) threat to us. All hands on deck, JB!
COMFORT FOOD
- Meet the 'most disgusting woman in Britain.' http://bit.ly/9amOpT
- A guy jumps into a giant piece of farm equipment and packs himself in a bale of hay. http://bit.ly/b5NLNf
- For one easy payment of $51.50, you too can quit your job like Steven Slater. http://bzfd.it/byYxDf
- A flash game featuring that British woman who tossed a cat in the garbage. http://bit.ly/a0NxBD
- The anti-cat lady also has a 'real' Twitter feed. http://bit.ly/cXrERx
- Ben and Jerry's website pays homage to the double rainbow dude. http://bit.ly/VE2m
TWITTERAMA
@lehmannchris: NASA announces discovery of two new planets. No one on either of them shocked to learn Ken Mehlman is gay
@StephenAtHome: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then I guess I just got away with tree murder.
@Todd_Zwillich: Sen Simpson once gave me the "milk cow" line but it was Medicare and it had a modest 40 million "tits". It's an oldie.
@50cent: I got a gun on me now nigga do something I'm Strapped oh that necole b*tchie b*tch talking Bout me oh its on
@johncmayer: Huffington Post FULL OF SH*T? (Yes!) - Ahh, Huffington Post, the internet Death Star. The world's first... http://tumblr.com/xlrgspa1k
@RalstonFlash: I called Angle -she said spill was caused by Reid's failed policies. I called Reid and he said sulfur is a sign of the devil and Angle is...
THE TUBE
TONIGHT: Howard Dean talked about Sarah Palin on Dylan Ratigan's show. Log Cabin Republican R. Clarke Cooper discusses Ken Mehlman and his vacating the closet on Hardball. HuffPost bonanza on the Ed Show with Sam Stein and Roy Sekoff. Keith Ellison has not nice things to say about the GOP on Countdown. TOMORROW: Charlie Melancon on his Senate campaign and best friend of women David Vitter.
ON TAP
TONIGHT
5:00 pm: If it's Thursday in August it's time for Phillips After 5. The collection's weekly shindig featuring live music, refreshments and gallery talks [The Phillips Collection, 1600 21st Street NW].
TOMORROW
5:00 pm: In anticipation of Michael Jackson's birthday U Street Music Hall will be hosting a King of Pop-themed Motown happy hour. Shamon, kids [U Street Music Hall, 1115 U Street NW].
5:00 pm: If you're curious what a light jazz violinist sounds like, Miles Stiebel will be demonstrating the nuances of the form on the Mall. He's performing at this week's Jazz in the Garden [Smithsonian National Sculpture Garden, 7th Street and Constitution Avenue NW].
8:00 pm: The penultimate installment of the Rosslyn Outdoor Film Festival screens "The Birdcage" [Gateway Park, 1300 Lee Highway].
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