Mike Spears Challenges David Vitter To 'Epic' Steel Cage Match

While Sen. David Vitter's Democratic opponents are seeking to take him down by bringing his past issues with prostitutes and sexual infidelity to light, another Independent is seeking to defeat the incumbent through a more direct route -- by taking him on in a mixed martial arts cage match.

Independent Louisiana Senate candidate Mike Spears officially challenged Vitter at a Wednesday press conference to a three-round contest that would take place at a USA-Mixed Martial Arts "Return of the Champions" event on October 16.

Though Spears has no mixed martial arts experience, according to Lafayette's The Daily Advertiser, his proposition to Vitter was filled with the rough brutality of a seasoned pugilist.

"You and other career politicians like yourself, hell-bent on ruining this nation, have blood on your hands," the 46-year-old Spears said. "I think it's time you have blood on your face."

Spears also hit Vitter, 49, for his lascivious, yet oft-forgotten involvement in a high-profile Washington D.C. prostitution ring, and said that the Senator had to fight him in order to "defend his honor."

"Sen. Vitter's behavior - his admission to breaking the law in 2007 - has insulted the honor of Louisiana and the Louisiana Senate seat," Spears said.

Though Spears admitted that the odds of Vitter accepting the bout, which he described as an “epic battle between the American people and the out-of-control, tyrannical federal government,” were unlikely, he said he plans to fight in the event against a different opponent if the Senator is a no-show.

"I hope he shows, but I think it's unlikely," Spears said. "He generally avoids things when there's no upside."

Vitter has also rejected proposals from another opponent, Democrat Rep. Charlie Melancon, to attend a series of formal debates, though the two have faced off in informal public forums.

The latest polls show Vitter with a healthy lead over both Melancon and the Tea Party-influenced Spears, who was not listed by name in the survey.

Comments

[Bat Wrangler]

12:06 AM on 09/10/2010

Put a prostitute in that cage, and you won't get Vitter out.

[hypnus]

07:57 PM on 09/09/2010

Vitter, clad only in diapers, steps into the steel cage for round one of this epic match. Spears, dressed in overalls, is already in the far corner. Both gladiators determined to best the other. At the sound of the bell, Vitter moves left, Spears comes out right. Each man jockeys for position. Vitter suddenly darts in close and tosses baby powder into the face of Spears who is momentarily stunned. Vitter tries to go low, but Spears, now blind, somehow senses his opponent and leaps on to his back. Vitter, with ant like strength, lifts Spears over his head and starts to spin in a deadly wind mill move, his diapers becoming a white blur. Vitter then releases Spears who is slammed to the mat. Vitter then body slams Spears and puts him into a sleeper hold. The Louisiana State Controller moves in for the count. Vitter, in a surprisingly short but intense match is declared the winner.

[amaboss52]

07:21 PM on 09/09/2010

Vitters ahead in the polls? What kind of fool would vote for this slimeball?

[Catch 22]

08:58 PM on 09/09/2010

This puzzles me too. On what basis should Vitter be leading anything? How could the voters in Louisiana justify this?

[kikaidaboy]

10:36 PM on 09/09/2010

Maybe cuz the prostitutes weren't men...

[joemike127]

06:49 PM on 09/09/2010

Upon hearing of the challenge. Vince McMahon has announced a Texas Death Match pitting The Senator's wife vs his former lover. The winner then moves up in the rankings to take on Linda McMahon for the Lady's WWE Championship.

[MJinCanada]

06:43 PM on 09/09/2010

Dear heavens, I think it's time I stopped making sarcastic predictions. A couple of days ago I suggested that the Tea Party/Libertarian penchant for loopy candidates would turn elections into the equivalent of cockfighting. This story gives me a creepy feeling.

Anyone want me to guess where they left their car keys?

[Vere15]

06:36 PM on 09/09/2010

Thirty years ago we had a sportscaster who used to have a baby race which was known as Diaper Downs.

[BoyInBOYCOTT]

05:28 PM on 09/09/2010

ABV
Anybody But Vitter

[spc5]

04:34 PM on 09/09/2010

Larry Flynt needs to offer an award for women to come forward if they have had extra curricular activities with Sen Vitter. It worked wonders with another Louisiana Republican hypocite, Representative Bob Livingston who was outed for his extra marital affairs. Livingston was supposed to be Newt Gringrich's successor to the throne, Speaker of the House. Expose these holier than thou scumbuckets.

[asta1968]

04:15 PM on 09/09/2010

I don't see Vitter accepting this challenge. Not for the obvious reason (it's almost the dumbest thing said this cycle), but for the simple fact that if naked women aren't involved, he won't be interested.

[OlongapoEd]

06:06 PM on 09/09/2010

They should offer to let him wear a diaper.

[cactusgal]

06:29 PM on 09/09/2010

A wet diaper contest... Bring it on!

[nbb]

04:09 PM on 09/09/2010

Do they get to wear diapers?

[LMPE]

04:02 PM on 09/09/2010

I think that we're being too hard on David Vitter. I mean, he IS a southern Rethug, so it's not as if we should expect him to be honest.

[sheila]

03:54 PM on 09/09/2010

Vitter's first response was to call up one of his hookers and ask if she has any armored diapers...

[Javalation]

03:44 PM on 09/09/2010

For those who don't know lil David was also exposed by a very pretty New Orleans professional who added a few tidbits about their exchanges. Vitter simply ignored her report, and local news people don't ask about her any more. She sounded credible to me, and I couldn't help but wonder about others who may be out there with a story to tell. Maybe they could hold a convention, if they can get a hall large enough.

[jcaunter]

03:41 PM on 09/09/2010

We should all support that independent candidate! He looks like one of the most straight forward and honest politicians (oxymoron?) on the field today. Far better him that the usual crop of bad and worse snakes we have to choose from today.

[hang319]

04:20 PM on 09/09/2010

Forget it. He's a bagger, and obviously, a nutcase.

[OverIt]

02:58 PM on 09/09/2010

Poor David Vitter is just misunderstood. When you pay hookers $5K+ a "pop" --- pun intended --- guess you figure it all adds up and "everybody" is earning 6 figures!

[Vere15]

07:11 PM on 09/09/2010

Probably the bills for these services were hidden in his expenses as rest room rental