Last night on "The Report," Stephen Colbert welcomed the election season by praising Phil Davidson's electrifying stump speech for Stark County treasurer in Ohio, and ripping into the Tea Party winners in Tuesday night's primary elections.
Not surprisingly, Colbert found Republican Davidson's impassioned, albeit frighteningly so, speech at a rally in Ohio to be inspiring."He truly embodies the zeitgeist," Colbert said. "And possibly the poltergeist."
He also deduced that Davidson's anger must have spread throughout the nation, because "angry insurgent candidates won a slew of Republican primaries," Colbert said, referring to Carl Paladino and Christine O'Donnell, Tea Party candidates who won Republican nominations in New York and Delaware, respectively.
Colbert went on to mock Paladino's racist and pornographic email scandal, including a Photoshop of the Obamas as a pimp and ho, which Paladino defended by saying it was meant to be seen by a specific group of friends. "Yes, a very specific group," Colbert said. "Black people weren't supposed to get it."
But Colbert's real target last night was O'Donnell, who conservatives like Bill Kristol say isn't going to win in November because despite her right-leaning views, "she's no Palin."
"It's true," Colbert said. "O'Donnell might serve out her whole term."
And he didn't stop there. Colbert ripped into O'Donnell for her remarks that masturbation is equal to adultery in God's eyes, which she said during an interview on MTV in the 90s. He even proposed a solution for every masturbation-enthusiast who wants to stay away from sin: Marry your hand!
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