Way back in 2007, when an innocent world still kind of liked Kanye West, and thought there'd only ever be three Indiana Jones films, a plucky little outfit called Cracked.com launched a new columnists section. This was the place where the loyal Cracked reader, tired of learning that the eight most things they thought about something were completely wrong, could come to read comedy that had no interest in educating them. "My time certainly isn't very precious," they'd say to themselves, honestly. "Now let's fill it by reading the words of someone who values theirs even less."
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