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Tyler Clementi's Suicide Illustrates Internet Dangers

GEOFF MULVIHILL and SAMANTHA HENRY   10/ 1/10 10:28 AM ET   AP

Tyler Clementi Suicide

PISCATAWAY, N.J. — The shocking suicide of a college student whose sex life was broadcast over the Web illustrates yet again the Internet's alarming potential as a means of tormenting others and raises questions whether young people in the age of Twitter and Facebook can even distinguish public from private.

Cruel gossip and vengeful acts once confined to the schoolyard or the dorm can now make their way around the world instantly via the Internet, along with photos and live video.

"It's just a matter of when the next suicide's going to hit, when the next attack's going to hit," said Parry Aftab, a New Jersey lawyer who runs the website WiredSafety.

Last week, Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge after his roommate and another classmate allegedly used a webcam to secretly broadcast his dorm room sexual encounters with another man. The two classmates have been charged with invasion of privacy, with the most serious charges carrying up to five years in prison.

The suicide of Clementi, a shy, gifted 18-year-old violinist, shocked and disturbed gay rights activists and others on campus.

"Had he been in bed with a woman, this would not have happened," said Rutgers student Lauren Felton, 21, of Warren, N.J. "He wouldn't have been outed via an online broadcast, and his privacy would have been respected and he might still have his life."

The Associated Press found at least 12 cases in the U.S. since 2003 in which children and young adults between 11 and 18 killed themselves after falling victim to some form of "cyberbullying" – teasing, harassing or intimidating with pictures or words distributed online or via text message.

In probably the best-known case, 13-year-old Megan Meier of Daddenne Prairie, Mo., hanged herself in 2006 after she received messages on MySpace – supposedly from a teenage boy – cruelly dumping her. An adult neighbor was later found guilty of taking part in the hoax, but the conviction was overturned.

Earlier this year, 17-year-old Alexis Pilkington of West Islip, N.Y., who had landed a college soccer scholarship, killed herself after receiving a stream of nasty messages.

Gregory Jantz, founder of A Place of Hope, a Seattle mental health care center, said young people who use the Internet to spread something damaging about others often don't realize how hurtful it can be because many of them have grown up in a world that has blurred the line between public and private.

"Our kids are in a different zone now," Jantz said.

Aftab said young people who would never bully someone face to face do it online in part because of the often-false sense of anonymity that the Internet provides.

"They'll also jump on because they don't want to be the next target," Aftab said.

In Clementi's case, prosecutors said that his roommate, Dharun Ravi of Plainsboro, N.J., and Molly Wei of Princeton, N.J., both 18-year-old freshmen, transmitted a live image of Clementi having sex on Sept. 19 and that Ravi tried to webcast a second encounter on Sept. 21, the day before Clementi's suicide. Ravi's lawyer and a lawyer believed to be representing Wei did not return calls.

Luanne Peterpaul, vice chairwoman of the gay rights group Garden State Equality and a former New Jersey prosecutor, said authorities might be able to pursue the case as a hate crime under state law if they are able to establish that the defendants acted because they believed Clementi was gay.

Ravi posted a message on his now-closed Twitter account on Sept. 19: "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."

Prosecutor Bruce J. Kaplan said in a statement: "We will be making every effort to assess whether bias played a role in the incident, and, if so, we will bring appropriate charges."

A lawyer for Clementi's family did not respond to requests for comment on whether Clementi had come out to friends and family about his sexual orientation. He also said the family had no comment.

The mourning continued at Rutgers; in Ridgewood, the suburban New Jersey town where Clementi grew up and attended high school; and across New Jersey.

Clementi's violin teacher for the past five years could not believe he had taken his own life.

"He was a very genuine and, I guess, you could call it a shy person," said Khullip Jeung, 33, who teaches out of his home in Fort Lee. "But when he played the violin, it was different. He had a strong voice. He knew what he wanted to say. And he spoke through his violin. And I think that is the real Tyler that I knew."

Childhood friend Mary Alcaro, who played in a summer music academy with him, said Clementi had been destined for greatness.

"I've never heard anyone make a violin sing the way he did," she said in an e-mail.

Even Gov. Chris Christie had something to say.

"As the father of a 17-year-old, I can't imagine what those parents are feeling today," he said. "Those people who led him to that bridge are going to have to bear that responsibility for the rest of their lives."

Students at West Windsor-Plainsboro Regional High School, from which Ravi and Wei graduated, remembered them as nice people who were not in any way homophobic.

Ravi had gay friends, said Derek Yan, 16, a junior. Yan said he chatted online with Ravi about what college life was like, and Ravi "said he was lucky to have a good roommate. He said his roommate was cool."

___

Mulvihill reported from Haddonfield. Contributing to this article were Associated Press news researcher Rhonda Shafner in New York; videographers Ted Shaffrey in Ridgewood and Bonny Ghosh in Plainsboro; and writers Angela Delli Santi in Trenton and Wayne Parry in Atlantic City.

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PISCATAWAY, N.J. — The shocking suicide of a college student whose sex life was broadcast over the Web illustrates yet again the Internet's alarming potential as a means of tormenting others and...
PISCATAWAY, N.J. — The shocking suicide of a college student whose sex life was broadcast over the Web illustrates yet again the Internet's alarming potential as a means of tormenting others and...
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
vonbek
Forget revolution we need evolution
09:03 PM on 10/03/2010
They should be thrown in jail, if we let these people off easy it will just make other not think twice before they do the same thing. They ruined a life, if we can throw not violent drug offenders in jail the people responsible for this should get at least 10 years.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TheSardonicAtheist
Everybody Lies
12:33 AM on 10/04/2010
How does throwing the two delinquents in jail, help them at all? Prisons are overcrowded as it is, and certainly throwing them in jail without any sort of treatment, service, etc, will help them. (In my opinion) we should look toward alternative means to helping them, community service, strict counseling, and programs for trouble adolescents of this nature. I understand that, throwing them in jail will impede their actions from happening again, but if we were to throw sick minded, troubled, people in jail without understanding their causes, then we won't be able to prevent future situations like this.
08:28 AM on 10/03/2010
I'm not sure prison is the answer in this case. I think the two perpetrators, and society, would be better off with a community service sentence. They, and we, have a lot to learn. Our jails are overcrowded. At some point, as a society, we need to decide how and when to help perpetrators redeem themselves.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Wintersoldier7020
12:28 AM on 10/03/2010
"Internet Dangers" more like dangerous people on the internet. If you bought a gun and laid it on a table it isn't dangerous, but if you put a gun in the hands of a ruthless and careless person ..then it's dangerous. Blame the people that had vicious intent. As a society we have to take responsibility, we're uneducated ,unhealthy and judgmental.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Katco
Misogyny: hard to spell, easy to practice
02:15 PM on 10/02/2010
The ignorance, fear, loathing and intolerance for LGBT people is unacceptable. Young people are struggling to find their place in a society that considers LGBT's to be second class citizens, not worthy of the respect, privacy and basic civil rights that heterosexual's take for granted. Having to deal with harassment, threats, and violence on a daily basis, these teenagers are bound to reach their breaking point. Five suicides in the last 2 weeks... we will never know what these young men might have achieved.

As parents, we have to raise our children to be tolerant and accepting of all people. We are all human beings deserving of love, respect and acceptance. We have to be cognisant of what we are teaching our children through our actions, opinions and judgments. Stereotypes & prejudices are first learned at home... Social scientists believe children begin to acquire prejudices and stereotypes as toddlers. Many studies have shown that as early as age 3, children pick up terms of racial prejudice without really understanding their significance. IT IS OUR JOB TO TEACH CHILDREN TOLERANCE.

It is never too late to give up our prejudices.

~Henry David Thoreau
01:35 PM on 10/02/2010
To those making callous comments about this tragedy think about this. Tyler Clementi was an 18 year old college freshman. College presented an opportunity for him explore his sexuality which he may not have been able to do while residing with his family. He might also been afraid to acknowledge his sexuality with his family especially if they were funding his education. I know many individuals who had their college funding cut off by their "loving" family when they came out. Tyler also had to deal with the embarrassment of having a sexual encounter broadcast on the web without his (or his partner's) knowledge and consent. The moment the broadcast went live he became a social pariah. There would be reluctance from any guy to date Tyler. The door was also opened for harassment and potential physical violence. I'm sure that Tyler was so distraught that he saw no other option then to take his own life. I'm certain that Tyler's roommate and the roommate's friend thought this was a harmless prank. I can also surmise that they had no thought of the rippling repercussions of their actions. No matter how innocuous the roommate and his cohort thought their actions were they must now deal and live with the consequences.
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01:07 PM on 10/02/2010
The evil or unclean spirit, roams the earth, to tempt people. When "feelings" of hate or wrongdoing
come to your mind, resist. Be at rest, calm and quiet, so that you may reason clearly. Let Love and goodwill flow from your heart. Over time and patience/practice, I tell you it can happen.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JerryMerry
02:57 AM on 10/02/2010
Since my first comment was not approved I'll try again.
The real pathetic part about all this is the perpetrators (Ravi and Wei) are not being reprimanded for their terrible actions. They both should be receiving the stiffest penalties possible for their dastardly actions. These people had been asked to vacate the room, then snuck back with a webcam and recorded an intimate relationship. Doesn't anyone care about their right to privacy anymore?
Ravi's statement:: "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
PhineasGage730
10:39 AM on 10/02/2010
"They are not being reprimanded for their terrible actions."

Did you even read the article???

There's enough to get mad about with this story, no need to make things up.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onionboy
Blessed are the Cheese Makers
01:33 AM on 10/02/2010
There's nothing more dangerous than a series of tubes.
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11:38 PM on 10/01/2010
These recent spate of suicides is very alarming to me. In this age of the Internet, the good news is to know that we can communicate about harassment and violence at the click of a mouse. The bad news is that bullying, taunting, and harassment can occur at the click of a mouse.

Gee, maybe I was lucky in the 70s when they only hung me out the 4th floor window by my feet, or beat and sodomized me in the boys showers.

Cruelty and hate are the same. Only the tools are different.

:(
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11:39 PM on 10/01/2010
ps - so that my comment makes sense - I am a transsexual.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
PhineasGage730
10:40 AM on 10/02/2010
Actually that makes it even more confusing.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jdaddy1951
09:03 PM on 10/01/2010
"'It's just a matter of when the next suicide's going to hit, when the next attack's going to hit,' said Parry Aftab, a New Jersey lawyer who runs the website WiredSafety ..."

From another Huffington Post story:
"Johnson and Wales student Raymond Chase, 19, took his own life this past Wednesday, according to the Advocate.
"Chase, a sophomore reported as openly gay, apparently hanged himself in his dorm room. According to Now Public, the circumstances surrounding his death are not yet known."

The HUFFPO headline said Raymond Chase was the fifth gay teenage suicide in three weeks.

When will these tragedies end?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ObamAtomic
07:41 PM on 10/01/2010
Internet danger is less as a street walk or a driving around the block.
07:30 PM on 10/01/2010
We must take everyones computer and make sure to turn off their internet unless they let us review everything first and make sure its safe.

How low of a human being do you have to be in order to use tragedy to make a point?

Why not let this poor kid's family grieve, extensively, and then come up with the big brother articles and headlines.

The sad part is that two, not one, but two authors collaborated on this article. This means that neither one had the conscience to nut bring propaganda into the mix. OOPs, make that six people contributed of which like 4 are writers. Six brains saw the piece and saw it fit to print. Mercy on the future of humanity.

What is wrong with us as a people that we gotta turn tragedy into headlines, promotions and brown-nosing to our bosses?
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03:52 PM on 10/02/2010
I'll never cease to be amazed at how badly the news media botches any story that has anything to do with technology or the Internet. There was no "broadcast." There is no video. There was no planting of a hidden camera. This whole thing has turned into a ridiculous game of "Telephone" where the details keep getting more and more distorted in order to cash-in on the "cyber-bullying" panic which the news media is obsessed with right now.

In the first incident, an existing webcam which was sitting in its usual spot was briefly flipped on, and a post was made to Twitter about it, roughly the equivalent of walking in on your roommate and shouting down the hallway "Hey, so-and-so is making out in my room!" I seriously doubt that a case could be made out of it.

The attempted setup in the second incident sounds far more eyebrow-raising, but again, nothing actually came of it. Once again: no broadcast, no video, nothing. Just a Twitter post expressing possible intent.

At most, Ravi probably deserves to be convicted for one count of attempted invasion of privacy for the second incident, and Molly probably deserves to be awarded a libel judgment against someone for this sensationalist nonsense considering that her actual involvement was nil and she just had the misfortune of letting Ravi borrow her computer.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Javida
07:23 PM on 10/01/2010
The comment in this blog's article that Clementi wouldn't've been filmed had he been in bed w/ a woman is not necessarily true. As we speak, a mistress of Tiger Wood's is shopping around a sex video of the two of them and John Edward's mistress is trying to keep a sex video of the two of them from going viral. And how about Paris Hilton's sex video and the publication of sexually provocative pix of Vanessa Williams that cost her the Miss America crown.

So let's watch it w/ mischaracterizing abuse as if it's skewed toward gays only. Abuse is experienced by people of all backgrounds, of all ages and both genders and for diverse reasons. We need to address abuse itself rather than focus on only one aspect of it in our society, such as gay abuse.

In this regard, Tyler Clementi's very tragic death should cause all of us to seriously ponder the critical importance of respecting the privacy of all people and to show basic decency toward all people as well, no matter if our approaches to living life have much or little in common.
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Paul The Octopus
My micro-bio is empty.
11:36 AM on 10/02/2010
Thank you! Well said. I don't know how many times I've been trying to tell people to look at this as a HUMAN issue instead of just a "gay" issue. It's not about giving "gays" special rights or treatments (as some often spin it in the media) but it's about treating all people equally and respectfully.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tlaltecuhtli
06:20 PM on 10/01/2010
The internet is not dangerous ... there are people that use it who are. When we recognize it as a great tool to flush out child predators, bullies, political terrorists, and social terrorists - like the ones from Rutgers - to identify these disturbed and malignant souls, it can both help us locate them, and care for those who are being bullied.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Imago
I thought so.
06:12 PM on 10/01/2010
 raises questions whether young people in the age of Twitter and Facebook can even distinguish public from private.


Of course they can. It's not difficult to distinguish between public and private.