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4 Bullied Teen Deaths At Ohio School

Bully

MEGHAN BARR   10/ 8/10 05:01 PM ET   AP

MENTOR, Ohio — Sladjana Vidovic's body lay in an open casket, dressed in the sparkly pink dress she had planned to wear to the prom. Days earlier, she had tied one end of a rope around her neck and the other around a bed post before jumping out her bedroom window.

The 16-year-old's last words, scribbled in English and her native Croatian, told of her daily torment at Mentor High School, where students mocked her accent, taunted her with insults like "Slutty Jana" and threw food at her.

It was the fourth time in little more than two years that a bullied high school student in this small Cleveland suburb on Lake Erie died by his or her own hand – three suicides, one overdose of antidepressants. One was bullied for being gay, another for having a learning disability, another for being a boy who happened to like wearing pink.

Now two families – including the Vidovics – are suing the school district, claiming their children were bullied to death and the school did nothing to stop it. The lawsuits come after a national spate of high-profile suicides by gay teens and others, and during a time of national soul-searching about what can be done to stop it.

If there has been soul-searching among the bullies in Mentor – a pleasant beachfront community that was voted one of the "100 Best Places to Live" by CNN and Money magazine this year – Sladjana's family saw too little of it at her wake in October 2008.

Suzana Vidovic found her sister's body hanging over the front lawn. The family watched, she said, as the girls who had tormented Sladjana for months walked up to the casket – and laughed.

"They were laughing at the way she looked," Suzana says, crying. "Even though she died."

___

Sladjana Vidovic, whose family had moved to northeast Ohio from Bosnia when she was a little girl, was pretty, vivacious and charming. She loved to dance. She would turn on the stereo and drag her father out of his chair, dance him in circles around the living room.

"Nonstop smile. Nonstop music," says her father, Dragan, who speaks only a little English.

At school, life was very different. She was ridiculed for her thick accent. Classmates tossed insults like "Slutty Jana" or "Slut-Jana-Vagina." A boy pushed her down the stairs. A girl smacked her in the face with a water bottle.

Phone callers in the dead of night would tell her to go back to Croatia, that she'd be dead in the morning, that they'd find her after school, says Suzana Vidovic.

"Sladjana did stand up for herself, but toward the end she just kind of stopped," says her best friend, Jelena Jandric. "Because she couldn't handle it. She didn't have enough strength."

Vidovic's parents say they begged the school to intervene many times. They say the school promised to take care of her.

She had already withdrawn from Mentor and enrolled in an online school about a week before she killed herself.

When the family tried to retrieve records about their reports of bullying, school officials told them the records were destroyed during a switch to computers. The family sued in August.

Two years after her death, Dragan Vidovic waves his hand over the family living room, where a vase of pink flowers stands next to a photograph of Sladjana.

"Today, no music," he says sadly. "No smile."

___

Eric Mohat was flamboyant and loud and preferred to wear pink most of the time. When he didn't get the lead soprano part in the choir his freshman year, he was indignant, his mother says.

He wore a stuffed animal strapped to his arm, a lemur named Georges that was given its own seat in class.

"It was a gag," says Mohat's father, Bill. "And all the girls would come up to pet his monkey. And in his Spanish class they would write stories about Georges."

Mohat's family and friends say he wasn't gay, but people thought he was.

"They called him fag, homo, queer," says his mother, Jan. "He told us that."

Bullies once knocked a pile of books out of his hands on the stairs, saying, "'Pick up your books, faggot,'" says Dan Hughes, a friend of Eric's.

Kids would flick him in the head or call him names, says 20-year-old Drew Juratovac, a former student. One time, a boy called Mohat a "homo," and Juratovac told him to leave Mohat alone.

"I got up and said, 'Listen, you better leave this kid alone. Just walk away,'" he says. "And I just hit him in the face. And I got suspended for it."

Eric Mohat shot himself on March 29, 2007, two weeks before a choir trip to Hawaii.

His parents asked the coroner to call it "bullicide." At Eric's funeral and after his death, other kids told the Mohats that they had seen the teen relentlessly bullied in math class. The Mohats demanded that police investigate, but no criminal activity was found.

Two years later, in April 2009, the Mohats sued the school district, the principal, the superintendent and Eric's math teacher. The federal lawsuit is on hold while the Ohio Supreme Court considers a question of state law regarding the case.

"Did we raise him to be too polite?" Bill Mohat wonders. "Did we leave him defenseless in this school?"

___

Meredith Rezak, 16, shot herself in the head three weeks after the death of Mohat, a good friend of hers. Her cell phone, found next to her body, contained a photograph of Mohat with the caption "R.I.P. Eric a.k.a. Twiggy."

Rezak was bright, outgoing and a well-liked player on the volleyball team. Shortly before her suicide, she had joined the school's Gay-Straight Alliance and told friends and family she thought she might be gay.

Juratovac says Rezak endured her own share of bullying – "name-calling, just stupid trivial stuff" – but nobody ever knew it was getting to her.

"Meredith ended up coming out that she was a lesbian," he says. "I think much of that sparked a lot of the bullying from a lot of the other girls in school, 'cause she didn't fit in."

Her best friend, Kevin Simon, doesn't believe that bullying played a role in Rezak's death. She had serious issues at home that were unrelated to school, he says.

After Mohat's death, people saw Rezak crying at school, and friends heard her talk of suicide herself.

A year after Rezak's death, the older of her two brothers, 22-year-old Justin, also shot and killed himself. His death certificate mentioned "chronic depressive reaction."

This March, her only other sibling, Matthew, died of a drug overdose at age 21.

Their mother, Nancy Merritt, lives in Colorado now. She doesn't think Meredith was bullied to death but doesn't really know what happened. On the phone, her voice drifts off, sounding disconnected, confused.

"So all three of mine are gone," she says. "I have to keep breathing."

___

Most mornings before school, Jennifer Eyring would take Pepto-Bismol to calm her stomach and plead with her mother to let her stay home.

"She used to sob to me in the morning that she did not want to go," says her mother, Janet. "And this is going to bring tears to my eyes. Because I made her go to school."

Eyring, 16, was an accomplished equestrian who had a learning disability. She was developmentally delayed and had a hearing problem, so she received tutoring during the school day. For that, her mother says, she was bullied constantly.

By the end of her sophomore year in 2006, Eyring's mother had decided to pull her out of Mentor High School and enroll her in an online school the following autumn. But one night that summer, Jennifer walked into her parents' bedroom and told them she had taken some of her mother's antidepressant pills to make herself feel better. Hours later, she died of an overdose.

The Eyrings do not hold Mentor High accountable, but they believe she would be alive today had she not been bullied. Her parents are speaking out in hopes of preventing more tragedies.

"It's too late for my daughter," Janet Eyring says, "but it may not be too late for someone else."

___

No official from Mentor public schools would comment for this story. The school also refused to provide details on its anti-bullying program.

Some students say the problem is the culture of conformity in this city of about 50,000 people: If you're not an athlete or cheerleader, you're not cool. And if you're not cool, you're a prime target for the bullies.

But that's not so different from most high schools. Senior Matt Super, who's 17, says the suicides unfairly paint his school in a bad light.

"Not everybody's a good person," he says. "And in a group of 3,000 people, there are going to be bad people."

StopCyberbulling.org founder Parry Aftab says this is the first time she's heard of two sets of parents suing a school at the same time for two independent cases of bullying or cyberbullying. No one has been accused of bullying more than one of the teens who died.

Barbara Coloroso, a national anti-bullying expert, says the school is allowing a "culture of mean" to thrive, and school officials should be held responsible for the suicides – along with the bullies.

"Bullying doesn't start as criminal. They need to be held accountable the very first time they call somebody a gross term," Coloroso says. "That is the beginning of dehumanization."

___

Associated Press writer Jeannie Nuss in Columbus contributed to this report.

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MENTOR, Ohio — Sladjana Vidovic's body lay in an open casket, dressed in the sparkly pink dress she had planned to wear to the prom. Days earlier, she had tied one end of a rope around her neck ...
MENTOR, Ohio — Sladjana Vidovic's body lay in an open casket, dressed in the sparkly pink dress she had planned to wear to the prom. Days earlier, she had tied one end of a rope around her neck ...
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07:45 PM on 10/14/2010
We need a zero tolerance policy for bullying in our society.

This is from my own blog post on the recent epidemic of homophobic bullying and violence: http://www.comicbookjustice.com/2010/10/12/coming-out-for-justice/

Bullying is one of the basest forms of injustice. The belief that might makes right is one of the things modern civilization was created to challenge. The reason bullying has continued to thrive over millennia of human existence is because its perpetrators victimize the weakest members of society. Childhood bullies target peers who aren’t physically strong enough to defend themselves–any potential victim who presents even the possibility of a fair fight is ignored in favor of easier prey. But even more appealing to a bully on the prowl than a victim without physical strength is one who lacks political power, someone who has been disenfranchised from mainstream society. In fact, this emboldens bullies who see ample evidence from friends, family, teachers and the media that these outsiders are less worthy than others. From the evidence all around them, bullies have every reason to believe that not only will no one stand up to defend these outcasts, but that their abuse will actually be condoned–or even praised.
07:42 PM on 10/12/2010
If she was overweight, would the world care? No. If she was black, would the world care? No.
08:10 PM on 10/12/2010
Hopefully, every one will get an advocate. Not just the blacks and the gays.
04:59 AM on 10/12/2010
Just thought you guys might find this local Craigslist ad interesting, especially after the tragedy in Mentor, OHIO -

"We Teach Your Child To Rule Your Neighborhood (Go To 1106 East Grand Ave, Arroyo Grande)

Date: 2010-10-06, 5:52PM PDT

"Bully the losers in your neighbor. Learn the kicks that will make them do anything- MONEY too! Go to ilovekickboxing.com to find how much your parents have to pay for you to learn. Then YOU start making MONEY! "
The Pit, Arroyo Grande, CA 93420, (805) 473.2500"

So apparently promoting bullying is even a money-maker now! Am I the only one that finds this disturbing? Contact them and let them know what you think. Disgusting.
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MyFatCat
I'm paid in catnip
11:22 PM on 10/11/2010
It's not just about "large" schools. Bullying thrives when insecure kids who read "neutral" expressions as "hostile" decide they have to look bigger, and start seeking targets. Bullying thrives when that's what you see at home. Bullying thrives when it's more important to identify a difference than to identify a fellow human being.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bessielil
trying to organize hummingbirds
06:20 PM on 10/11/2010
Many schools are too large. Kids get lost.

Many movies and TV shows play bullying and pranks for laughs.

Administrators are so afraid of being sued by bully parents (not the ones mentioned in the article) that they 'lose' records. Oh, please.

Walking home and the school bus rides contain such rich possibilities for harassment that we can't hang on faculty or staff.

Cyber lives are a new wrinkle in an old problem. For whatever reason some students don't or won't tell their parents about it, schools MUST provide safe zones, with staff and trained professionals to comfort kids, intervene, and help devise programs with strategies the vulnerable can use.

My biggest message to kids in school is not stand up for yourself. Stand up for others. If most kids didn't watch, but banded together to provide a buffer, lots of cliques could be broken up. Kids are the ones that always know what's going on. Why can't we have programs in schools for student heroes, instead of just mentioning the bullies and the victims and who else to blame. Any of us who don't intervene are to blame.
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Jennifer Hill
Conflicted
03:46 PM on 10/11/2010
When I was in high school one of my favorite teachers was bullied for being gay. He told me much later that the stress was unbearable and he finally quit. This wonderful sweet man came to my moms funeral two years ago still being the good friend and community member he has always been. We all deserve to live free from persecution - people of color, women, LGBT , immigrants, fat people and all others who find themselves at the end of such torture. The pursuit of happiness? When did we forget about that?
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fahrenheit451
I'm living a life of quiet desperation. That's it.
11:14 AM on 10/11/2010
Bullying has been going on forever, and back in the stone age (the 70's), I had my share of it. Some teachers stepped in and intervened making their classes a little less hellish, but for the most part, the school turned a blind eye to what was going on. I am so lucky that I had a strong family to fall back on and that eventually it stopped. Schools need to do more to prevent bullying and stop it when it occurrs, but making the parents ultimately responsible for their children. Unfortunately, the downside of that is the problem with many bullies is their parents. So what to do? Maybe by simply not tolerating it from anybody (are you listening, Carl Paladino?) might be a good place to start.
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valeskas
catlover/book lover democrat
09:08 AM on 10/12/2010
Was it stone ages or stoned ages. :)
10:43 PM on 10/10/2010
I want to see what people look like that laugh at their victim in her casket after they have bullied her to death. That type of behavior even goes beyond bullying. This type of person doesn't even seem real, therefore, I'd be curious who this type of person is? What could they possibly look like? What do they do each day? Who talks to them, likes them, lives with them, touches them? Who???? It's only like somebody you may see in a movie, but not someone that lives in our society. Who are their parents? How does a human even develop into that type of a monster and how many of them are walking among us? Scary....
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
kesmarn
01:47 AM on 10/13/2010
My thoughts exactly. The poor child in the casket is actually more fortunate than the creatures who are so soulless that they stand there and laugh at their victim...knowing full well that they put her into that casket. Can these entities be called human? If someone can do that he/she is capable of anything evil, up to and including murder. Chilling that people can get to be that depraved while they're still in high school. I shudder to think what comes next....
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Joye
02:59 PM on 10/10/2010
Teachers need to step in and get involved. My deep condolences for each of these students' families and friends.
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valeskas
catlover/book lover democrat
09:33 AM on 10/11/2010
Teachers need to inform the parents and the parents need to get involved, not the teachers. Parents are way to lazy these days, to care for their children, its time parents get involved again. Children do as they are taught at home, if they taught hatred, these parents need to look at themselves for spewing hatred. Joye, this is whats wrong with our country, its not the teacher who raises the kids, its suppossed to be the parent.
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MyFatCat
I'm paid in catnip
11:23 PM on 10/11/2010
Teachers often see more of the kids than the parents do, especially in lower-middle and working class families. When you're working two jobs, you can't cover all the bases.
06:06 AM on 10/10/2010
It's sad that the bullying trend is never ending. What do you think is the cause? They are people who are proud, arrogant, stubborn, actsy, boastful. Either due to their wealth or intelligence or capability. And they want to look down on someone lower in rank in order to feel proud of themselves. This has got to change. All parents and teachers are to be responsible for the children's actions. They have to be taught the right and good attitudes, behaviors, how to care for others, etc from a very young age. All children from young must be taught how to be good citizens so that later in life they'd surely show good attitudes. Back again how some of the children become bullies? It's not that they like to but because they were never well taught the right attitudes they should have.
And teachers must make it an important issue. They are also responsible for the children's attitudes, not just the studies. And if they bring up the matter to the bullies' parents, the parents must make sure to change the child's attitudes, not just spank or slap them. Learning on right and good attitudes, not just studies, is what children need.
As for the cases of the children committing suicides, it's really a sad tragedy which the school and the bullies has to take responsibility for.
05:26 AM on 10/10/2010
I think the main problem is that the teachers closed both eyes when such things happen. When the parents or the children complain, the teachers just say they'll look into it but they never bother about it. So the lawsuit against them is something they have to face. If the teachers had done something immediately, those children wouldn't have taken their own lives. I'm really sad to hear of this tragedy.
And the bullies are just dammed selfish people. If no one do something about such bullies, they'll end up bigger bullies later on. Bullies, in fact all children from young, should be taught about good attitudes, behaviors, how to care for others, etc - because this good attitudes, behaviors and caring are also what they'd like others to show to them. Only through this right messagers can they be good citizens at all times in life and avoid their lives from being bullies. Frankly, no one really wants to be bullies.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
qthedancer
07:17 PM on 10/09/2010
When I was growing up, I lived on a block that had kids in every house. We all played together outside, from ages 4 to about 16. If anybody started bullying, some adult would fly out of whichever house we happened to be in front of and give the bully a good dressing-down. Cries of "I'm gonna run home and tell my Momma" were most often met with a second dressing-down by said Momma. Zero tolerance. In the end, we became socially competent. And the community was just that; a community.
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obama20082012
03:25 PM on 10/09/2010
If this is one of the best places to live, I would rather live in Somalia.
12:32 PM on 10/09/2010
HP has it shares of bullies, if they dont like your comment they take it down,

The cowards hide behind computers and feel important by taking down post....I hate bullies......and to pick on someone for wearing pink shirts, I wear Pink Dress Shirts and no one has had the nerve to tell me anything....
07:48 PM on 10/09/2010
We find gangs or cliques in our offices, and yes even on this site..

Adults are not so different,we ourselves often have a mob mentality(lynching) so we can't blame kids as much as we'd like for being weak willed in the face of a crowd..
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RogueJedi14
We're cylons. And we have been from the start
12:30 PM on 10/09/2010
suing a school of 3000 students wont help... there are two things to look at addressing here; the bullying - an act that has been going on as long as mankind has grouped, and the suicide. Bullying is hard to address because it doesn't happen in the schools like it used to, its electronic now, text messages and facebook. Resorting to suicide as a answer is something that parents, mentor programs and family hopefully can combat.
Here are my thoughts to help curb these problems:
1) more manageable school sizes
2) cell phone companies offer parents with their monthly bill a complete record of all text messages sent and received on any phone under their account-this needs to be in the print
3)schools need to not be the center of a kids life, if rough patches hit at school they need to be able to get away and spend time with a different crowd:city league sports, church groups, clubs, something.

as high school staff myself, something has to change.
12:39 PM on 10/09/2010
If coward school administrators would expel the bully's for good from the school ISSUE SOLVED. I never believed teachers have the best interest for our kids.

I never vote for a proposition to support teachers because teachers have become lazy and are just coasting through life, they are in for a check and job security. Nothing more Nothing less.

Sure 10% care and are in it for teaching the others well lets say fall into a dark pit. Then we read about it in the media what the intention of teaching was the whole time.
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02:56 AM on 10/10/2010
Many teachers simply aren't trained in these areas. Where faculties have received training in recognition and prevention, significant reductions in these kinds of behaviors have taken place. Expulsion really isn't the answer, as it just takes the problem off campus. Quality programs of sensitivity training for offenders, involving student peers, have also produced significant improvement. These programs take money and by voting down propositions you remove these options from your districts menu. It would be better to get involved with district committees and demand these types of changes.