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'The Colbert Report': Goats Are Stealing American Jobs (VIDEO)

First Posted: 10/15/10 01:36 PM ET Updated: 05/25/11 07:00 PM ET

On Thursday's "The Colbert Report," a dangerous new threat to the American workforce is highlighted in the segment "People Destroying America."

Tammy Dunakin won't employ American citizens for her landscaping business, and her undocumented workers are taking jobs extremely vital to hardworking Americans in this time of economic struggle. But she's not employing illegal immigrants; they're just goats.

"I will not be satisfied until goats are doing all the landscaping jobs in this country," Dunakin tells "The Colbert Report." The merits of her 130 hungry mammals aren't unfounded; according to Dunakin and one of her clients, the goats are able to work 24 hours a day, can easily get to places that machinery and people can't safely reach and are good for the environment. Best of all, the goats cost $2,500 to work an acre that would cost a human crew $10,000.

Naturally, her competitors aren't happy. "This woman's completely out of her f--king mind," one landscaper says, while another knocks the downside of Dunakin's animals: "I don't think we would ever poop on a job site."

But even the Department of Defense has hired Dunakin's furry crew to work at a nuclear sub base. Fortunately, former U.S. Secretary of Labor Robert Reich quells any fears of a goat uprising by assuring "that there is absolutely no reason to be afraid of goats."

WATCH:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
People Destroying America- Goats Steal Landscaping Jobs
www.colbertnation.com
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On Thursday's "The Colbert Report," a dangerous new threat to the American workforce is highlighted in the segment "People Destroying America." Tammy Dunakin won't employ American citizens for her l...
On Thursday's "The Colbert Report," a dangerous new threat to the American workforce is highlighted in the segment "People Destroying America." Tammy Dunakin won't employ American citizens for her l...
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olddognewtrick
Half full or half empty...It's the same
11:08 AM on 10/19/2010
I'm OK with it...as long as they learn the language..
02:35 AM on 10/19/2010
Our local "Goat Renter Gal" appeared on The Colbert Report. Now that's funny! #PEMCO #GoatsWorkForFood
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05:20 PM on 10/18/2010
Colbert has a way of making us laugh while making us think. Brilliant.

Why are all the comedians liberals and intellectuals?
04:02 AM on 10/18/2010
lol-- that's funny
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
11:56 PM on 10/17/2010
I guess that we really are the men who stare at goats.
olddognewtrick
Half full or half empty...It's the same
11:09 AM on 10/19/2010
I like the reference to the movie...and it is also much funnier than the movie...
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
01:26 PM on 10/19/2010
Actually I've never seen the movie, just heard about it.
10:02 PM on 10/17/2010
I heard some of them Mountain goats are affiliated with Al Qaeda. They have been seen in Afghanistan co-existing with the Taliban in the mountains of Tora Bora.
Durn terrorists are everywhere and they're taking over everything!!
09:38 PM on 10/17/2010
We love our Goat Renter Guys and Gals in the Pacific Northwest.... Check this PEMCO Insurance Commercial out. (I'm CMO and hope you enjoy it)
http://www.youtube.com/user/NorthWestTypes#p/u/21/w9jxa7T6WGQ
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TequilaMockingbird
ALL Hail The Lords of Funk Entropy
11:58 PM on 10/17/2010
Love it..
03:46 AM on 10/17/2010
Sweeping Federal anti-goat legislation? America's becoming such a nanny State.
04:05 PM on 10/16/2010
Greens are having a coming out party

each goat should wear a green ribbon
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CindyM272
09:31 AM on 10/16/2010
That's because human excrement is unsuitable as a fertilizer. Goat excrement, however, is excellent.
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05:26 PM on 10/18/2010
Human excrement has been used for a very long time as fertilizer, in societies that have a shortage of the resource. Also known as nightsoil, hundreds of millions of resource-poor farmers use it regularly, and have done so for many hundreds of years.
I suggest a google search on the topic for more info.
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KarlaElisa
The atmosphere is Toxic
12:43 PM on 10/20/2010
Could be wrong here, but what I know is that human solid waste is fine for flowers and such but not recommended for your edibles. Human URINE, on the other hand, is great for your veggies.
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Candide33
I heart Bernie Sanders
06:45 AM on 10/16/2010
LOVE IT! hahahahahah

But do be afraid of goats, the billy goats can be very mean.
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CindyM272
09:37 AM on 10/16/2010
Not so if you treat them well from kid-hood. NEVER touch a billy (or a ram's for that matter) on his forehead - they see this as a challenge to fight for dominance - when they are fighting, that's where they connect. Horns can be an issue, but that's a whole other topic...
Rusty is my big baby - 300+lbs of boer who just wants cuddles - and some treats, of course. I think he was a puppy in a former life!
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Candide33
I heart Bernie Sanders
12:43 PM on 10/16/2010
I have raised goats as pets, and male goats will butt and chase people.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
KIVPossum
Moldova Marsupial
06:00 AM on 10/17/2010
I raised goats for many years. A buck that was hand raised will still get nasty at times.
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quillsinister
10:19 AM on 10/16/2010
Don't you mean gruff? ;-)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
anastomosis
Firstly do no harm
05:20 AM on 10/16/2010
What about us sheep?
So we need a dog to tell us where to go.
But we produce those nice fluffy little lambs which give tasty lamb chops.
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
11:55 PM on 10/17/2010
But you might be one of the demon sheep that Carly Fiorina warned everyone about!
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MagicalPossibilities
Question everything...
11:43 PM on 10/15/2010
Colbert is baaaaad!
11:32 PM on 10/15/2010
Sad, not funny. A Jester is a clown by any other name.
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whyanything
01:59 AM on 10/16/2010
It was funny..
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rambling Ruminations
09:23 PM on 10/15/2010
This was one of the all time best. I wonder how his team gets these stories.

Perhaps wanna be journalists should do their internships with Steven Colbert and John Stewart's teams. While fetching everybody their coffee they might purely by osmosis actually learn the art of news gathering.