10 Flying Tips From Pilots (PHOTOS)

We came across an article in Reader's Digest entitled "50 Things Your Pilot Won't Tell You." While we have to admit the title made us nervous, it also intrigued us.

What do pilots know that might calm our fears? What do they want to tell us--and more importantly, what do they not want us to know?

Our friends at Reader's Digest kindly let us excerpt our favorite tips and bits of info from the article. We put together a list of our favorites: the ones that were helpful, insightful or just plain funny.

Let us know what you think!

Captions courtesy of Reader's Digest.

 

Have a favorite tip about airplanes? Send them to us!

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“Some FAA rules don’t make sense to us either. Like the fact that when we’re at 39,000 feet going 400 miles an hour, in a plane that could hit turbulence at any minute, [flight attendants] can walk around and serve hot coffee and Chateaubriand. But when we’re on the ground on a flat piece of asphalt going five to ten miles an hour, they’ve got to be buckled in like they’re at NASCAR.” -Jack Stephan, US Airways captain based in Annapolis, Maryland, who has been flying since 1984

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“Some FAA rules don’t make sense to us either. Like the fact that when we’re at 39,000 feet going 400 miles an hour, in a plane that could hit turbulence at any minute, [flight attendants] can walk around and serve hot coffee and Chateaubriand. But when we’re on the ground on a flat piece of asphalt going five to ten miles an hour, they’ve got to be buckled in like they’re at NASCAR.” -Jack Stephan, US Airways captain based in Annapolis, Maryland, who has been flying since 1984

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Comments

[kareemachan]

11:44 AM on 10/23/2010

You want an airport with a really, really short runway? Try Juneau, AK.

[T4]

12:55 PM on 10/22/2010

honestly what do they know - they don;t sit in coach?

[Darachaos]

03:04 AM on 10/22/2010

xbrooklyngrrl, It sounds like you'd be better off just staying home, since most of the rest of us can't acommodate all your demands.

[xbrooklyngrrl]

02:19 PM on 10/23/2010

When it was finally acknowledged that breathing other people's cigarette smoke is bad for your health, smoking was banned on planes. How hard is it to not wear perfume? Not as hard as it is for smokers to do without for hours. How genuinely selfish of you, imposing pets and perfumes on strangers is something that should end, and will, eventually, as more and more people in our toxic world get intolerant, as I, and many others, have.

[xbrooklyngrrl]

10:06 AM on 10/21/2010

Cabin air is not as dirty as people think.' Wonder what gave us that impression? It's cleaner than some public buildings? Most buildings are incredibly toxic, that's faint praise.

Request: Could people not douse themselves in perfume and cologne before a flight? I've become intolerant of perfume and other chemical smells (it's not an allergy, folks, it's chemical overload) and don't want to get off a plane with a perfume headache. Google the chemical make-up of perfume -- it's nearly identical to cigarette smoke!!!

And leave your emotional support pet under the plane, or at home: If you can't fly without Fluffy at your feet, you should drive, or take a Xanax. A plane would be a much cleaner place without these unnecessary allergens.

[kareemachan]

11:46 AM on 10/23/2010

I have to agree with you about perfumes, and with me, it IS an allergy.

[Johnjlws]

08:31 AM on 10/21/2010

Drink water to stay hydrated probably would have been a better tip than all these combined. I agree with another writer that a free-flying Macbook at 200 mph seems to suggest a bigger problem than getting bonked in the head ("why add to the problem" response is just sort of silly). At the same time, I have to tell you I've never seen any PC go that fast.

[kareemachan]

11:47 AM on 10/23/2010

If you've seen a laptop on a plane, you've seen it going 200 mph. Actually, you've seen it going probably four times that fast.

[Lauren Kottwitz]

10:34 PM on 10/20/2010

My father has been an engineer for decades now, and he's said some pretty interesting things about flying.

The best one (keep in mind, I am terrified of flying... as in, I-have-to-get-Xanax-for-even-domestic-flights terrified):

"Frankly, I'm surprised more flights don't go down."

After my stunned silence, I asked him to elaborate:

"Well, think about it. Humans aren't really supposed to be flying, and we leave a lot of the work up to nature. With the change that things like air pressure, air currents, and weather sustain in any given moment, it is pretty amazing that more flights than not land safely."

And I will never forget that he said it. I'm pretty sure he was really putting into words his awe that we are able to fly, but still...

[Poncia]

02:33 AM on 10/21/2010

I heard a similar comment from a pilot, although he did articulate what your conclusion is. It's the awe of lift, drag, gravity and thrust that prompted his surprise.
I'm not terrified of flying, as you are. Good luck with that. I just don't like that it feels like being in a bus or subway. I only think that half the fun is getting there if your traveling any other way besides a plane.

[Bruckley]

09:23 PM on 10/20/2010

If a MacBook is going 200mph in an airplane you have much bigger worries than the MacBook.

[Grimmsd]

03:06 AM on 10/21/2010

But why add to the problems?

[RichardRoundtree]

08:43 PM on 10/20/2010

Who else is going to give "tips and tricks"?


Birds?

[Madbunny]

08:21 PM on 10/20/2010

Here is a tip: Mail your clothes to the hotel you're gonna be staying at, and dress like Freddy Mercury, or Bruce Lee with a hip pack for your wallet and stuff to get through the searches.

[Robert Turner]

06:22 PM on 10/20/2010

Pilot travel tips to you:
1) Don't drink before getting onto the plane. Instead, inject heroin between your toes. It'll be our little secret.
2) Mile high clubs are a myth. Think "Executive Lounge Low-Balling"
3) Bring your suitcase onto the plane and call it a "carry on". Oh, wait... you're doing that already.
4) Bring food and hygiene supplies on your flight. Leave the left overs on your seat. Pilots don't make much money these days.
5) Slip a fiver under the cockpit door on your way out.

[xbrooklyngrrl]

10:21 AM on 10/21/2010

1) Bring your snortables, they get thru security.
2) Grab a bacteria-laden blanket; why leave yur seat?
3) Be sure to whack a few people along the aisle, it'll assert your superiority
4) Stinky lunches from fast food joints taste great and smell even better when cold
5) Knock on the door mid-flight to express your enjoyment level

[2 PERCENTER]

06:10 PM on 10/20/2010

Bose noise canceling headsets. Must have if you travel a lot.

If you can afford it, I recommend Marquis Jets (done this a few times and you feel like a rockstar)
Next level down: First and Biz class
Next level down: Exit row
Next level down: drive (not worth the cramped seats and bad service)

[Lauren Kottwitz]

10:26 PM on 10/20/2010

Marquis Jets? Are you kidding me?

Too rich for my blood, I'm afraid. I can't believe anybody can afford those flights.

[PeanutButterJellyGirl]

12:47 AM on 10/21/2010

If you travel for business you have the business covering your expense. If you are traveling for holiday, fly cheap and spend well on the actual holiday. Or look for a cheap upgrade at check in. Every blue moon I find on the 1 or 2 hundred dollars.

[kareemachan]

11:49 AM on 10/23/2010

A friend was LIVID that her husband had bought some of the Bose headsets. Until she used them, that is. Now they each have a pair (he works overseas, which makes for long flights).

[MajorKong]

06:09 PM on 10/20/2010

I've landed an Airbus 300 at SNA and it's a tight fit. Burbank isn't much better.

[Kevin30215]

07:10 AM on 10/21/2010

SNA gets your full undivided attention in a 757, too. LGA ILS-4 is just dreamy, with the flashing LAHSO bar and all...

[MajorKong]

11:18 AM on 10/21/2010

I'm actually on the 757 now.

Love the jet, but the Airbus paid better.

[RockiesRiter]

06:06 PM on 10/20/2010

That was interesting.

[edgarcaycedoc]

05:59 PM on 10/20/2010

Two things come to mind. On my very first flight, I was seated just behind the wing. When we started to land, I looked out the window, and I thought, "The wing's falling apart!!" Then common sense took over. As for short runways, I flew into and out of Tegucigalpa (Honduras) airport three times. It is the world's shortest commercial runway, and has mountains at both ends. It was bizarre, because when the wheels cleared the runway, the pilot made a steep bank to the left. Looking down you could still see the individual shingles on some of the houses on the mountain. Made me want to puke!!

[Sansculotte]

05:06 PM on 10/20/2010

We should start a movement to have "Reagan" dropped from National Airport's name.
The reason it was called National in the first place was to indicate that it belongs to us all - as our capital's airport. Non-partisan.
And then it fell victim to the Ronald Reagan deification movement.
Hopefully - now that the long terms affects of "trickle down" small government are obvious for all to see - we're now over such nonsense.
National Airport forever!

[edgarcaycedoc]

06:00 PM on 10/20/2010

It has also been called "John Foster Dulles Airport."

[zootliberal]

06:20 PM on 10/20/2010

are you sure you're not mistaking National for the Dulles which is in Virginia and 20 plus miles outside of DC. Was National ever called John Foster Dulles?

[MajorKong]

06:08 PM on 10/20/2010

Just ask the cab driver to take you to "Butcher of Guatemala Airport" next time.