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Lesbian Student Constance McMillen, Who Sued Over Prom, Speaks Out About Gay Bullies

Constance Mcmillen

SHELIA BYRD   11/ 5/10 05:02 PM ET   AP

JACKSON, Miss. — The lesbian who successfully challenged a rural Mississippi school district's ban on same-sex prom dates says she wept when she read about the recent spate of gay teen suicides linked to harassment.

Constance McMillen, who was recently named one of Glamour magazine's "Women of the Year 2010," told The Associated Press that she became a bullying victim after she challenged the Itawamba School District over a policy that prohibited her from bringing her girlfriend to the prom and wearing a tuxedo.

McMillen, 18, said she became emotional after reading about the suicides of 13-year-old Seth Walsh, of California, who hanged himself outside his home after enduring taunts from classmates, and of Tyler Clementi, an 18-year-old Rutgers University freshman who killed himself after his sexual encounter was secretly streamed online.

"I read it on Facebook. I was so upset about this that I could not sleep," McMillen said. "I knew it had to be terrible for them to choose death as a way to escape what they were living in."

McMillen said she has had her own suicidal thoughts.

"But I never really considered it to the point where I almost did it," she said. "Everybody thinks about it when times get hard."

Growing up in the small town of Fulton, Miss., McMillen said she wasn't bullied until school officials canceled the prom rather than allow McMillen and her girlfriend to attend as a couple.

"I went through a lot of harassment and bullying after the lawsuit, and I realized how bad it felt being in that position," she said.

The American Civil Liberties Union sued the district, which paid $35,000 to settle the lawsuit and also agreed to follow a non-discrimination policy, though it argued such a policy was already in place.

Glamour magazine recently honored McMillen for her fight against intolerance, and she's now in the company of entertainer Fergie, actress Julia Roberts, designer Donatella Versace and Queen Rania of Jordan.

Cindi Leive, Glamour editor-in-chief, said McMillen was selected by an advisory panel of past honorees, including Jennifer Lopez and Katie Couric. The main measure for honorees is that they help make the world a better place for others, Leive said.

"We've seen such devastating proof this year of how tough it is for gay teens out there. To have someone like Constance stand up for who she is with dignity and pride, is a really meaningful thing for other young people to see. We respect her bravery and her example," Leive said in an e-mail.

In a photo on the magazine's website, McMillen is dressed in a tuxedo and a tiara and standing in her messy bedroom. A television movie about her case is also in the works.

McMillen said her family's support helped her confront injustice.

"It seems like gay students catch a lot. It's already a rough time in high school. Everybody wants to be accepted," McMillen said. "The family's acceptance is 100 times more important than people they go to school with. Whenever their family doesn't accept them, they feel like nobody's going to."

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JACKSON, Miss. — The lesbian who successfully challenged a rural Mississippi school district's ban on same-sex prom dates says she wept when she read about the recent spate of gay teen suicides ...
JACKSON, Miss. — The lesbian who successfully challenged a rural Mississippi school district's ban on same-sex prom dates says she wept when she read about the recent spate of gay teen suicides ...
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02:32 AM on 11/08/2010
"The family's acceptance is 100 times more important than people they go to school with. Whenever their family doesn't accept them, they feel like nobody's going to."

Thank You. :)
thewirah
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
04:22 PM on 11/07/2010
This young woman has guts.
11:19 PM on 11/06/2010
Bullying is wrong and extremely destructive, regardless of the reason.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
05:38 PM on 11/06/2010
YOU GO, Constance. You are an inspiration to GLBT youth everywhere.
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04:52 AM on 11/06/2010
Yeah a high school girl in my hometown killed herself. Apparently my hometown newspaper has a 78th rate version of this site. The bloggers are all on there pissed off, because the Navasota Examiner's spin on everything. Accusations have been over the school district's liability in the teenager's suicide.
11:50 PM on 11/05/2010
There is another side to this story.

Constance McMillen, by her own admission, was NEVER harassed or bullied during her tenure at IAHS until after the ACLU brought suit against the school on her behalf. She felt very comfortable there.

Constance's lesbian mother and her mother's gay activist friends encouraged her to challenge the school to bring a ss date to the prom, begging the question of advocacy by proxy.

The ACLU was delighted to bring suit on her behalf, and garner PR and ultimately $81,000 in legal fees awarded by the court (that's in addition to the $35,000 awarded to Constance in the settlement.)

The gay and gay-allied press/blogosphere was thrilled to flog the story featuring and embellishing Constance as a brave lgbt heroine-victim youth, perfect for building their hit counts to sell more advertising.

Constance's fellow students (understandably) felt that she had hijacked their collective prom as a platform for herself and the lgbt community -- at their, and their community's expense. They thanked her for ruining their prom and shunned her.

And IAHS will no longer sponsor school proms.

What exactly has been accomplished here on behalf of lgbt students other than Constance?
JStading
Trust me, I'm an attorney...
01:47 AM on 11/06/2010
"Constance McMillen, by her own admission, was NEVER harassed or bullied during her tenure at IAHS until after the ACLU brought suit against the school on her behalf. She felt very comfortable there."

So she wasn't harassed about her sexuality until she was harassed about her sexuality?

"The ACLU was delighted to bring suit on her behalf, and garner PR and ultimately $81,000 in legal fees awarded by the court (that's in addition to the $35,000 awarded to Constance in the settlement.)"

Do you realize how woefully nothing $81k in legal fees for this type of a case is? That's basically costs, staff labor, and a bit for the attorney.

"Constance's fellow students (understandably) felt that she had hijacked their collective prom as a platform for herself and the lgbt community -- at their, and their community's expense. They thanked her for ruining their prom and shunned her."

How is that understandable and how did she ruin the prom? She wanted to bring a date, the school responded by canceling the official prom and hosting an unofficial prom where everyone, but her, was invited. Sounds like school officials ruined the prom.
JStading
Trust me, I'm an attorney...
01:48 AM on 11/06/2010
"What exactly has been accomplished here on behalf of lgbt students other than Constance?"

Simple, there is another state that recognizes that the school's insistence that kids bring opposite sex dates or wear certain types of gendered clothing equals an equal protection violation. It's less and less likely that school districts will be willing to discriminate against gay students if they know for a fact that every discriminatory action will cost the district $81k and get them no where.

Your argument is akin to asking what kids who fought for desegregation got, aside from the ire of their fellow students. You're a victim blamer, nothing more and nothing less.
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Douglas Campbell
07:56 PM on 11/06/2010
F & F Too many victim blamers.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
03:19 PM on 11/15/2010
Faved. The anti-Constance apologists are certainly out in force.
10:54 PM on 11/05/2010
Constance, you give me chills. What an inspiration you are to young women who fear to speak out.
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Jdaddy1951
10:08 PM on 11/05/2010
Another extraordinary ordinary hero. Constance has more guts than most politicians, including the man currently in the Oval Office. Can't wait for the next chapter in her life.
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neighborhoodmole
no one really knows who anyone is here
04:50 PM on 11/05/2010
How can the school district possibly claim an anti-discrimination policy was already in place when it blatantly discriminated? They should have just admitted that they did not follow their own policy instead of trying to claim not guilty just because they HAD a policy which they did not enforce!
11:56 PM on 11/05/2010
They did have a non discrimination policy -- and they also had a no ss date prom rule, along with a prom dress code.
JStading
Trust me, I'm an attorney...
01:50 AM on 11/06/2010
I have no idea what "SS" means, but alluding to Nazi imagery is likely the most ironically appropriate thing about your post. I'm assuming it means "same sex." If it does, then it's irrelevant if they had a policy because it violates equal protection (so does the prom dress code, one that barred women from wearing anything but dresses). Because their policy was unconstitutional, they got sued. Because they were dopes, they fought a clearly loosing battle and now are on the hook for $81k.
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Douglas Campbell
07:58 PM on 11/06/2010
a non discrimination policy and also a policy that discriminates? Can you really wrap your head around that?
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liberal123
02:50 PM on 11/05/2010
She was very brave to stand up for her rights in homophobic rural Mississippi. Thanks to her and the ACLU, gay kids won't be denied the right to attend their high school proms.
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Ryhunt86
07:21 PM on 11/05/2010
Not so. Nothing was resolved beyond her specific case, and in that case they "settled" rather continue to fight in court(s). Any school can still try and block same sex couples from attending prom or other school social functions.
JStading
Trust me, I'm an attorney...
01:51 AM on 11/06/2010
"Any school can still try and block same sex couples from attending prom or other school social functions."

I would disagree - this case represents yet another case where the school settled or lost an anti-gay discrimination claim. I haven't seen a single case that's upheld a school's right to enforce this type of dress code or to bar same sex dates since the mid 1990s. It's pretty clear that this case becomes another brick in the wall and will just bring us closer to the ultimate pulling of this type of policy.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
05:41 PM on 11/06/2010
And any that try will get fought in the courts, either a verdict or the school settling. If the haters want this case by case then that is the way it will be done.