Carol Anne Riddell And John Partilla's New York Times 'Vows' Story: Readers Weigh In

We can't remember the last time a New York Times 'Vows' column caused such an outpouring of public opinion more than this week's, about a couple who left their respective spouses to marry each other (oh wait, yes we can).

139 people commented on the story before the Times closed it to comments, while the blogosphere ripped into the couple--and the paper--for everything from referring to "spouse-dumping" with "unmitigated pride" to failing to adhere to even "basic journalistic practice" by not calling the exes for comment, even as other outlets asked "what's all the fuss?"

We've collected some of the fiercest reactions from the Twitter-verse--both positive and negative. We'd love to hear your thoughts, too: Tweet your responses with the hash tag #vowsbacklash or add your comments below.

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Straights worried about gays/lesbians ruining trad. marriage? these 2 R doing a better job at it-- http://nyti.ms/fErYiD #vowsbacklash

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Comments

[noneofthismatters]

01:28 PM on 01/23/2011

I clicked to fan a comment and it turned out I was already a fan of the writer. I think it must be in love.

I'll have to leave my family and start a new one and the story of our meeting on HuffPo will be written up in the NY Times and everyone will think we're wonderful.

[Ricanmorenax5]

08:27 AM on 12/23/2010

I think that they put themselves into a situation where they could "fall in love" It happens, and if they were single no problem. They should have stoped being around each other at first sight of feelings, and told their spouses. These two let things go out of hand, and ofcourse they fell into a situation where there was pain and more pain.

[jwadvocate83]

07:18 PM on 12/22/2010

The timing of meeting eachother - unfortunate
The avoidance of adultery - admirable
The classlessness of airing it out in a NY Times article - undeniable

[kryptonbear]

09:10 PM on 12/22/2010

The excoriation & scorn which have been heaped on Riddell & Partilla - priceless

[DrVeronicaEyeMD]

12:24 PM on 12/22/2010

Two souls who are meant to be together will find each other. The timing cannot be controlled. I feel hurt for the ex-spouses though.

[MarcEdward]

06:53 PM on 12/22/2010

"Two souls who are meant to be together will find each other."

Sorry, but I cannot imagine saying anything sillier, but one guesses you have no idea what "love" is beyond attraction and infatuation. 
No two people are "meant" to be together outside of fiction. You are making excuses for evil behavior.

[Ricanmorenax5]

08:26 AM on 12/23/2010

I was with you, untill you said "evil behavior" I do not think that these two really set out to hurt.

[kryptonbear]

12:07 AM on 12/22/2010

A printout of the original NY Times article should be mandatory reading for every right-wing, conservative politician, TV commentator, pundit, private citizen, "real American", etc., who goes on & on about the sanctity of marriage & parenthood while foaming at the mouth about same sex marriage & child adoption. The only difference between this and other similar examples of how "non-sanctified" straight marriages can be or how unfit straight parents can be is that these people had the opportunity & ability to brag about it in a newspaper whose motto is "All the news that's fit to print". Is it? Is it really?

[Icono Clast]

10:18 PM on 12/21/2010

shit happens and couples fall out of love sometimes with the passage of time. i think its more honorable than having an affair which most people would opt for

[Spartan112]

02:53 PM on 12/22/2010

In a way I agree, but I do have a problem with them airing it in public. While they may not have a problem with it, what about the exes? Way to humiliate them publicly.

[MarcEdward]

06:53 PM on 12/22/2010

I would bet my last dollar they had the affair long before they split with their spouses.
You don't buy a car without taking it for a test drive.

[KennyFox]

02:58 PM on 01/05/2011

Absolutely. I agree.

[HeevenSteven]

09:25 PM on 12/21/2010

I'm sure they were all just fascinated with him...zzzzz

[rmjagg]

07:57 PM on 12/21/2010

someone's aiming for a reality show gig with this kind of announcement lol

[surfergirl70]

05:30 PM on 12/21/2010

You love who you love. But did they have to splash it all over the Times and embarrass their children and exes in the process? Tacky.

[Brooklyn73]

03:41 PM on 12/21/2010

The collateral damage these two are creating is epic, with the help of the NYT.

[JUST AS I SEE IT]

03:05 PM on 12/21/2010

GOD BLESS Carol Anne Riddell And John Partilla. The Best 2 them Forever.

They were meant 2 be together or their paths would never have crossed.

Love is Love is Love. Everyone has a Real Soul Mate and it does not mean U married them first.

There is No Way U can fall in Love with anyone else if U R in a happy, fulfilling marriage with a spouse U love.

If I was married 50 years, 8 kids and a newborn, 20 grandkids, etc. and my Soul Mate came into my life, I would know it, the same as these 2 did. But I would not wait 1 wk. I would leave my spouse immediately because they were not 1 meant 4 me 2 be with till end of time. I would leave, even if other party, my Soul Mate, knew nothing of my feelings or had ever said anything 2 me.

A TRUE LOVE STORY = I am so happy 4 them, they just waited 2 long 2 get married. Kids adapt same as if a spouse dies, divorces or runs away. Has been going on since beginning of time and will continue till end of time. Yes, U love your kids, but U can not be with spouse day in and day out, making love when U do not love them. It is not fair 2 anyone, especially kids. 4 kids 2 live in a home where there is no love or fake love is worse.

[Brooklyn73]

03:35 PM on 12/21/2010

....and let's pray they don't fall in love with someone else during the course of their marriage and start the process all over again.

[MarcEdward]

06:56 PM on 12/22/2010

I was part way through responding till my sarcasm detector went off.
Your's is the funniest post ever.
Sorry I didn't "get it" sooner!

[KCB3]

02:47 PM on 12/21/2010

This was the most nauseatingly narcissistic couple I've ever read about. Ironic that it was in "Vows"...ironic, too, that her television claim to fame was a segment called "Family Matters" (that is, before she was canned by the studio for her stunning lack of talent). If they didn't want to cause more pain, why contact the Times and pull strings to get this story? Utterly repulsive.

[VagabondSaint]

04:20 PM on 12/21/2010

That part bothers me, that they went out of their way to draw attention to themselves. I agree with what they did, but splashing on the pages of an international newspaper seems unnecessary. Then again, maybe telling their story will help others in the same situation.

[nlbeckerman]

05:43 PM on 12/21/2010

Re: Dec. 19th, 2010 Vows- Carol Anne Riddell and Partilla

Their need to disclose and publicize the events leading up to their wedding shows a flagrant disregard for the health and well-being of their former spouses and their children. Adults can make their own life choices at any time, but it is a parent’s responsibility to protect the integrity of their children’s lives. Rather than helping me share the joy of their love, this piece makes me despair for the future of their families.

[Exene]

02:15 PM on 12/21/2010

As far as leaving their previous spouses to marry each other I think they acted as honorably as possible under the circumstances. I don't know about telling the story in the NYT, though. That seems like a little much to me, but then, I'm pretty protective of my privacy.

[Just a fan]

01:55 PM on 12/21/2010

And somehow if I was allowed marry may partner of 15 years it will ruin the sanctity of marriage!

[MissAngela]

12:02 AM on 12/22/2010

"I believe everyone has the right to make the same mistake I did." - Angele Pastore,CCSF

[Elise77]

01:51 PM on 12/21/2010

Is it really narcissistic to fall in love with someone unexpectedly? Love is hard. People change. They both had families, and yes, the children are the most important people in this entire scenario. But at least the children will see their parents be happy instead of being pent up and depressed over having stayed in a situation where they weren't happy?

I think the fact that they did not have an affair, that they took years to admit to each other that they'd fallen in love, shows that they dealt with the situation in a mature way.

This story makes me sad because I think of all the parties hurt and all the pain caused. But how can you deny when love changes?

[KCB3]

02:42 PM on 12/21/2010

If you bought the line about waiting to tell their spouses before starting an affair, then I hope you turned next to Real Estate for the Brooklyn Bridge.

[Elise77]

03:07 PM on 12/21/2010

Even if they did have an affair, which they have obviously been accused of, that doesn't make them bad people nor does it make their love illegitimate. I just don't think they are narcissistic like the majority of these comments make them out to be....or rather, I don't feel I can judge their situation based on this column.

[MarcEdward]

06:58 PM on 12/22/2010

"Is it really narcissist­ic to fall in love with someone unexpected­ly?"

That's called infatuation, not love. 

"the children are the most important people in this entire scenario"

Not to Carol Anne Riddell And John Partilla - getting some exciting "new" sex trumped the lives of their kids.

"I think the fact that they did not have an affair"

If you believe that, you'll believe anything.