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Dealing With Depression: 9 Ways To Support Someone With Depression (PHOTOS)

First Posted: 01/06/2011 7:18 am   Updated: 05/25/2011 6:25 pm

When someone you know and love is clinically depressed, you want to be there for that person. Still, keep in mind that your friend or loved one has a medical condition, so giving support may mean more than just offering a shoulder to cry on.

"There are many things you can do to make them feel better," says Jackie Gollan, Ph.D, assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, but medical care may be what they really need to recover.

Here are nine helpful things you can do for someone with depression.


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  • Realize Treatment Is Key

    Depression is a medical condition requiring medical care. As a family member or friend, you can listen to the person and give your support, but that might not be enough. If you keep this in mind, it can prevent you from losing patience or getting frustrated with them because your best efforts don't "cure" their depression. "People that are depressed can't sleep it off; they can't avoid it," says Gollan. "You can give care and support, but it's not going to solve the problem." More From Health.com: <a href="http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20393228_1,00.html" target="_hplink">10 Things to Say (and 10 Not to Say) to Someone With Depression</a> <a href="http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20189154,00.html" target="_hplink">5 Depression Relapse Triggers to Watch For</a> <a href="http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20428707,00.html" target="_hplink">Why Your Job Is Making You Depressed</a>

  • Stay In Contact

    Call or visit the person and invite her or him to join you in daily activities. People who are depressed may become isolated because they don't want to "bother" other people. You may need to work extra hard to support and engage someone who's depressed. "Activities that promote a sense of accomplishment, reward, or pleasure are directly helpful in improving depression," says Gollan. "Choose something that the person finds interesting." Still, keep in mind that they may not feel interested in the activity right away. Routines that promote exercise, nutrition, and a healthy amount of sleep are helpful.

  • Talk About It

    Let them know that you and others care about them and are available for support. Offer to drive them to treatment or, if they want to talk to you about how they're feeling, know what to listen for. "This can reduce risk of suicide," says Gollan. "Listen carefully for signs of hopelessness and pessimism, and don't be afraid to call a treatment provider for help or even take them to the ER if their safety is in question."

  • Get Active In Their Care

    The best thing you can do for someone with depression is support his or her treatment. Tell your friend or loved one that depression is a medical problem and ignoring it will not make it go away. "If someone breaks their leg, they are taken to a doctor or hospital," says Gollan. "If someone has depression, they need medical care and psychosocial support."

  • Focus On Small Goals

    A depressed person may ask, "Why bother? Why should I get out of bed today?" You can help answer these questions and offer positive reinforcement. "Depressive avoidance and passivity can be reduced through activation [to help the person regain a sense of reward] and small goals of accomplishment," says Gollan. Document and praise small, daily achievements -- even something as simple as getting out of bed.

  • Read All About It

    Books about depression can be useful, especially when they are reliable sources of advice or guidance that's known to help people with depression. Books can often shed light on the types of treatment available. Gollan recommends books like "The Feeling Good Handbook", "Mind Over Mood", and "Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time". "Blogs are pretty risky," she says, "unless you are sure the sources are reliable."

  • Find Local Services

    Use support services in your community or online resources such as National Alliance on Mental Illness to help you find the right specialists to consult on depression treatment. A primary-care physician or an OBGYN can also provide referrals for a psychiatrist. Some people with depression may not recognize that they're depressed. Explain to them that the condition can get progressively worse, even become chronic, if not treated early. Hence, it's worth investigating supportive services and specialists.

  • Encourage Doctor Visits

    Encourage the person to visit a physician or psychologist; take medications as prescribed; and participate in cognitive behavioral therapy for depression. Gollan suggests checking the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies or the American Psychological Association to locate psychologists and medical centers' psychiatry departments.

  • Pay Attention

    If someone you love has been depressed in the past, pay attention if the person is experiencing some of the riskier life phases (in terms of depression), such as adolescence or a recent childbirth. Also, if the going is rough for him or her emotionally due to marital separation, divorce, job loss, a death in the family, or other serious stress, be ready to step in to help. More From Health.com: <a href="http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20393228_1,00.html" target="_hplink">10 Things to Say (and 10 Not to Say) to Someone With Depression</a> <a href="http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20189154,00.html" target="_hplink">5 Depression Relapse Triggers to Watch For</a> <a href="http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20428707,00.html" target="_hplink">Why Your Job Is Making You Depressed</a>

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MichaelAKD
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
04:37 PM on 01/10/2011
what i have observed over the years the tendency of people who have been depressed to withdraw, to wall themselves in and others out. a good friend of mine went through an episode a couple of years back. i noticed little things at first then he just stopped coming by, stopped calling. when i would try to get him to do anything he always had some excuse, that is if he would even pick up the phone. after awhile i just assumed he didn't want anything to do with me so i stopped trying to get hold of him, to go fishing or whatever. then it dawned on me, all the pieces fit together. i went over to his house, didn't even ask before hand. he had no choice but to let me in at that point. his place was a wreck, it was the middle of the day and he hadn't even gotten out of bed til i got there. we had a long talk, i refused to take no for an answer and got him to a doctor who immediately started treatment. i'd read online that meds take awhile to kick in so for the next few weeks i did regular surprise visits. i'd say it took about 6 months to see some real positive change but the work did pay off. i assume he still takes his meds i don't ask, all i know is that i have my friend back and it was worth the effort.
09:59 PM on 01/09/2011
I'm surprised this article doesn't directly state this, but exercise? In an evolutionary sense, a sedentary lifestyle is actually abnormal. Exercise regulates neurotransmitters and thus relieves stress towards stimuli. Depressed people really just have to stop sitting around and get up and active.

It's really a lot easier than one might think. Did you know you can get a full body workout without even going to the gym? Read this article I wrote to learn about alternative exercise techniques outside the gym: http://www.loungeowl.com/workout-outside-the-gym-in-san-diego/
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Happyexpat
Reality doesn't care what you believe.
06:56 AM on 02/27/2011
Depressed people really just have to stop sitting around and get up and active.

That's a good one. You must have done lots of serious research on the subject of depression. Fantastic. We need more posters like you. Keep up your work.
05:57 PM on 01/09/2011
Contrary to one poster,s comment, most people do recover from depression.
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
04:41 PM on 01/07/2011
Excellent article and recommended reading for all - to include those in the Department of Defense who restrict access to (or put conditions of access on) support for depressed servicemembers and then ask, "For all the services and people we've put in place, why is the suicide rate among servicemembers rising instead of falling?"
06:03 PM on 01/09/2011
There are far more military personnel seeing psychiatrists now than in the past . The reason they are getting worse is because of the use of psychiatric medications .
http://www.antidepressantsfacts.com/pinealstory.htm
"Your Drug May be Your Problem" by Peter Breggin MD
04:01 AM on 01/07/2011
#1 Realize you are not a professional (unless you are a physician or psychologist) and they should get professional care and help, depression is a real medical condition
12:58 AM on 01/07/2011
Living with or even just caring about someone with any mental illness can heartbreaking, emotionally draining & detrimental to your own mental health. Especially if the person will not seek help. If you are in this situation, check out the LEAP Institute web site. Their methods can give you the tools to help your loved one as well as yourself.
12:13 AM on 01/07/2011
all of this presupposes that there is something wrong with the individuals in question, rather than their predicament being a not unreasonable reaction to our wholly unreasonable society
08:14 PM on 01/06/2011
If you follow this advice, unless you are a certified professional, I assure you, you too will get depressed.

Negativity and misery loves company. Depressed people project it on anyone who they come in contact with.

If you are going to approach depressed individuals, let it be known in no uncertain terms, that you are happy, you expect them to be happy, and you will not accept baseless sadness.

Then you have a chance. If you take the sympathy and care route, you will lose yourself. Guaranteed.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
ConfuciusSay-
Aglets: their purpose is sinister.
08:45 PM on 01/06/2011
Baseless sadness is what underlies depression.

If you "will not accept it" then it would probably be best to leave depression care to those who have a better understanding of the problem. That's ok too. Not everybody is suited to everything, and getting "infected" with depression, so to speak, is not a good thing for anyone to endure. That does indeed happen.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Hollywooddeed
Bagger, please.
09:41 PM on 01/06/2011
When my best friend had a serious bout of depression, I wanted nothing more than to help her. After trying for about six weeks, I found myself becoming impatient with her negativity and felt it was bringing me down, too. I see your point.