The 'Jersey Shore' Guide To The Opposite Sex (VIDEO)

"There are some girls that are respectful, that you have to just actually treat like... human beings." This brilliant quotation belongs to Vinny, the youngest male member on the cast of the MTV reality show 'Jersey Shore'. The implication Vinny makes, of course, is that the rest of the female sex should be treated like animals.

And on 'Jersey Shore,' they are. This quote represents a rare moment for Vinny who, like the rest of the guys on the show, seldom uses the term "human beings" when speaking about members of the fair sex. Instead, Vinny, Pauly D, Ronnie and "The Situation" employ an impressively wide range of slanders, insults and epithets to defame and demean the very same women they shamelessly pursue every day of their ridiculous lives.

And so, because Season 3 premieres today, and because we wanted to analyze the gender politics of over-sexed, artificially-tanned, Jäger-drunk "Guidos" everywhere (and also because it's just funny) we've put together a short video mash-up of the Jersey Shore males' obnoxious sh*t-talking, all the way from the zoo animal references to the war metaphors.

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And as a special bonus, we give you this educational supplementary video on the potential consequences of attempting to woo a female with a Fossil watch:

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Videos produced by HuffPost's Ben Craw