11 Of The Stupidest Criminals Ever (PHOTOS)

Crime doesn't pay -- but it can be absolutely hilarious. Getting away with the perfect crime might seem like an accomplishment, but more often than not, attempting to rob, assault or otherwise engage in felonious activity will put a stain on your rap sheet forever. But if you're really lucky, you'll botch the crime so badly that people everywhere will read about your attempt and think, "Wow, what a stupid criminal." Here are 11 of the most glorious criminal failures of the last few years. Vote for the stupidest!

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Markedly Bad Disguise

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What these two Tennessee would-be robbers taught us by trying to "disguise" themselves by covering their face in black magic marker is that there is never, ever a good reason to apply black anything to a white face.

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What these two Tennessee would-be robbers taught us by trying to "disguise" themselves by covering their face in black magic marker is that there is never, ever a good reason to apply black anything to a white face.

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This Criminal

Rank #2  |  Average: 4

Almost had it! So, so stupid!

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Comments

[heymikee]

04:25 AM on 02/01/2011

How about the purse snatcher who, when driven by the cops back to the scene of the crime for a victim identification, declared "That's her!".

[kazooiedog]

11:01 AM on 01/14/2011

also, skip the number 4

[Skiwee]

06:22 PM on 01/13/2011

Thanks for the laugh HP.

[Name Name]

03:42 PM on 01/13/2011

Dear Huff editors: If you'd read the Tennessee blog more closely, the two marker-faced guys were from Iowa. Not Tennessee.

[Grim Al]

01:44 AM on 01/11/2011

Here's another. I'm a former bank security director. We had a robbery in which the suspect wrote his hold-up note on an empty cable TV envelope. There was no name or address on the envelope, only a post office barcode. The robber left the note behind when he fled. Taken to the post office a quick scan of the barcode yeilded a residential address a block away which, when visted by the police, yielded the robber and the loot!

[ComedyTweeter]

09:37 PM on 01/10/2011

So, at what point *does* CPR become necrophilia?

[namora]

04:06 PM on 01/10/2011

The real comedy in picture ten is that someone thinks opossums are armadillos. They really don.t look the same at all.

[Jerome Morrow]

05:48 PM on 01/10/2011

Fanned and Fav'd...

[Skiwee]

06:24 PM on 01/13/2011

#370....just because.

[stacy1467]

03:52 PM on 01/10/2011

Gotta love the Amish buggy chase. LOL!!!

[laaambchop]

02:24 PM on 01/10/2011

wow, the magic marker really brought out the suspect-on-the-right's eyes...

[kerriberri]

12:50 AM on 01/11/2011

I'm with you; he's got an artistic side, going for the Sarah Palin eye-wink false eyelash look. Tennessee is somethin' to see!

[Amber Troska]

02:07 PM on 01/10/2011

I wonder when the man in Manassas VA who held up a store with a big stick will make the list. I mean, yeah he got away with it, but it's one shot in a million something that idiotic works.

http://www2.insidenova.com/news/2010/dec/29/caught-video-stick-wielding-robber-attacks-manassa-ar-742239/

[Yuri Steinberg]

01:56 PM on 01/10/2011

wow....sounds like someone I know

[thebearschick]

01:32 PM on 01/10/2011

I love the 300 billion dollar check. It gets funnier the longer I think about it.

[Douglas90723]

01:28 PM on 01/11/2011

The US government writes checks like that everyday and they're backed by the Fed. Money made from thin air.

[princessvaly]

01:12 PM on 01/10/2011

These are awesome!!!! Lmao!!

[NRdrummer89]

01:09 PM on 01/10/2011

*Facepalm*

[Mary Schuck]

12:48 PM on 01/10/2011

Why does the linked article say it's an opossum, but Huffington's picture and caption are of an armadillo?

[CMB1969]

03:29 PM on 01/10/2011

really, I was wondering about that--even with global warming, I seriously doubt that armadillos have expanded their habitat all the way up to Pittsburg. If I had to guess, I would say that the nearest wild armadillos would be somewhere in Kentucky.

[paintsthesky]

01:01 AM on 01/21/2011

Armadillos have come further and further north. They have been in Missouri for the past several years in increasing numbers.