Marlon Brando's Outrageous Excuse For Missing Charlie Sheen's Birthday Party

Maybe he was feverish, but Marlon Brando wrote an insane (and hilarious) letter to Charlie Sheen to apologize for missing his 1991 birthday party.

In a sloppily handwritten note, Brando offered illness as an excuse -- and made to sure to emphasize all the interesting medication he was taking.

Here's the first paragraph of the letter -- for the rest, click over to LettersOfNote.com:

Dear Charlie,

I'm feeling like a very large turd on a very thin stick. I'm holed up in bed and taking everything from sled dog urine to powderde East Indian vulva -- maybe won't work tomorrow if I feel the same.

Maybe he should have kept that 'Godfather' cotton ball in his mouth.

Comments

[lala lele]

10:01 PM on 01/11/2011

So I have to guess that Charlie Sheen sold Marlon out or something. It sound really like a funny little tidbit, Marlon was a brilliant artist. May he rest in peace.

[Puller58]

08:03 PM on 01/11/2011

Brando being Brando.

[reron]

06:47 PM on 01/11/2011

How about I'm dead

[LameDuckHunting]

04:47 PM on 01/11/2011

Really? I thought it was because he d!ed a number of years ago..........................

[Puller58]

08:04 PM on 01/11/2011

No, he dieted a number of years ago.  That didn't work either.

[DixieMelody]

04:02 PM on 01/11/2011

Arguably the most hateful, humorless, judgmental, egomaniacal "method actor" to ever be in the entertainment industry. . . so why did HP editors think anyone would be interested in this vulgar scribbling from 20 years ago?

[Tyler-Durden]

04:35 PM on 01/11/2011

i suggest searching within...

find what it was that motivated YOU...

to make this irrelevant comment....

and you shall have your answer.

[DannyGee]

07:14 PM on 01/11/2011

because the Godfathers I and II and Apocalypse Now in which he starred are three of the best movies ever made? Maybe that?

[suso903]

12:03 AM on 01/12/2011

And Streetcar Named Desire and On the Waterfront. The guy rocked.

[CheapTrick]

03:57 PM on 01/11/2011

What... I drink that all the time....

[The-JuRK]

03:53 PM on 01/11/2011

You all know that Brando was quite mad, right? This wasn't only crazy thing he ever did.

[DixieMelody]

04:04 PM on 01/11/2011

He should have never had children, because they paid dearly for the misfortune of being related to him.

[The-JuRK]

08:32 PM on 01/15/2011

He has so many children running around that south seas island he bought that several tribes could challenge the estate for an inheritance.

[Puller58]

08:06 PM on 01/11/2011

I thought the proper term was "eccentric"?

[blukazoo]

03:50 PM on 01/11/2011

And this is relevant?

[sunnydee07]

03:19 PM on 01/11/2011

I only clicked on this because I thought Charlie was so "out of it" that he actually invited Marlon to his current b'day party. I wouldn't put it past him.

Honestly, though - is this news? A cute aside perhaps (20 years ago), but news?

[Puller58]

08:07 PM on 01/11/2011

Piece of history if nothing else.

[PanBaccha]

03:08 PM on 01/11/2011

That's the humor of the man. Always has been. Marlon Brando was a world unto himself. But, man, when he opened up, the whole world of spectators were entertained beyond their visceral experiences. What an incredible talent this man was. My hat off to you Bud!

[RODERICK098]

02:53 PM on 01/11/2011

Why is it when a famous person says something it is giving more weight than it deserves. If John Doe had said this it would not get a laugh. Because Brando said it it is treated as being funnier than it really is.

[jojojo]

01:56 PM on 01/11/2011

Well for one thing, Brando's been dead for years...

I know, I know, the article refers back to '91, but does HP really need to dig this kind of stuff up to get content?

[Bumble Bee]

01:49 PM on 01/11/2011

LOL. Nice comic relief. Too bad we had to go all the way back to 1991 for some.

[TheFabOne]

01:10 PM on 01/11/2011

Ah yes.

Nothing like powdered vulva on my Wheaties every morning.

It's nice, wholesome, and has a goodly amount of Vitamin C.

[Skotyman]

01:54 PM on 01/11/2011

I prefer fresh.

[GraphicMatt]

03:12 PM on 01/11/2011

I find the east Indian variety gives me indigestion though.

[deepfreezevideo]

04:02 PM on 01/11/2011

I prefer it before it gets powdered, and while still attached to the East Indian.
Looks a lot better too.

[Mark Sartor]

12:50 PM on 01/11/2011

Wishing I could delete my previous post.. sigh...