Students Are 'Meanest Ever,' Says Bullying Expert Malcolm Smith

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. (AP) -- A New Hampshire educator and bullying expert who calls himself a "family scientist" says children in school today are the "meanest ever" and they have more ways than ever to express that meanness.

Malcom Smith of the University of New Hampshire's Cooperative Extension Service spoke Thursday in Portsmouth.

Smith says some studies show that up to half of all public school students are subject to bullying.

Smith says repeat bullies have a deficit in social learning and are missing basic values like manners, civility and kindness. He says they think they are better than others. He says it's due to a lack of supervision.

The Portsmouth Herald reports that Smith says parents, educators and the community can fight bullying by teaching values like respect, compassion, realistic expectations of others.

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Information from: Portsmouth Herald, http://www.seacoastonline.com

Comments

[medic628]

12:32 PM on 02/13/2011

They are reflecting our society! We all need to look in the mirror?

[ThomasPaine1776]

03:00 AM on 02/13/2011

They think they are "Better than others" because we keep having ASSEMBLY DAYS for the expressed purpose of TELLING the little darlings how "SPECIAL" they are; PRAISING them, giving them "AWARDS" that look like DIPLOMAS for ATTENDANCE, for crying out loud. The school I am at is DATING them, not educating them. There are "Movie nights', "ICE CREAM DAY" PIZZA PARTIES, "NIGHT IN PARIS" DANCE is next friday, we give them GOODIES, CANDIES, we take thier PICTURES on school property at school expense....a YEARBOOK that does nothing but PRAISE them for doing nothing other than being a KID. OF COURSE they are going to start believeing that they are BETTER than eveyrone else. We need to stop KISSING UP to the kids, and start TEACHING them.

[saskatoonie]

02:37 AM on 02/13/2011

Parents, parents, parents. It's all about the parents the children have and how the children are raised!

[Kenz300]

10:20 PM on 02/12/2011

There is a total lack of civility in society today.

I think it has to do with FAUX NOISE and the hate speech kids and their parents
hear on talk radio.

The Limbaughs, Becks and O'Rileys of the world are doing a great disservice
to the country in the name of making money.

Selfish, greedy people preying on the gullible and planting the seeds of hate
and ignorance.

[sdmcmla]

02:23 AM on 02/11/2011

I think we shold coddle our children and insulate them from all nastiness, hardship and meanness until they are 18 when we then throw them out into the real world fo sink or swim.  Most will survive the shock.   And those that don't?  Oh well.

[Tristan Traylor]

03:13 PM on 02/10/2011

This is nothing more than the natural effect of putting children in the crucible we call the public education system. It's like "Lord of the Flies". Sure there are teachers and coaches around, but the bottom line is that kids are around each other too much. The second part of the problem is that schools need to keep their numbers up to maintain their funding so they run their propaganda machine to "Keep Kids in School" which means nothing more than keeping the most DANGEROUS and TROUBLED kids in public schools.
So with schools doing all they can to keep the roughest and toughest kids in school, learning to survive in school is like learning to survive in prison. Public Schools will never find a way around this problem. Kids will continue to get more vicious and promiscuous until privatization. Not all kids really need to be around other kids.
But I'm sure all we really need is to employ feel good programs designed to teach kids how to be nice to each other. New programs, new strategies, respect, tolerance, civility, manners. Public schools care much more about their numbers than how beneficial school is to them educationally, spiritually, physically, or emotionally. Since it's all about money anyway let's privatize and give parents real choices - as it is all they can do is gripe - which doesn't help.
I'm all for mercy, really. Judging from how mean kids have gotten, sending them to our public schools is not merciful,

[WhereSheStops]

06:04 PM on 02/10/2011

Faved.

It's not just throwing them in that crucible though. Our culture glorifies the smackdown. Kids' society-sanctioned entertainment is practically a manual for bullying.

Parents when present too often reinforce the idea that sarcasm and cruelty are the height of wit.

[jeff albin]

01:26 PM on 02/10/2011

One way to decrease bullying is to work on activities that allow students to get to know each other better.

http://loudfartnoremorse.blogspot.com/2011/02/landing-and-launching-installment-16.html

[raechel]

11:56 PM on 02/09/2011

Can't imagine why. Adults are so civil and polite to each other. Where can these kids have learned such terrible behavior?

[adamben]

03:01 PM on 02/09/2011

a "self-proclaimed" expert claims that there is definitely more bullying than in the past. sorry, but as a former scientist i think that you still need to cite studies and/or collect "DATA" to prove this, otherwise, it is just opinion. yes, you are allowed to have your opinion bases on anecdotal accounts, but that doesn't mean that it is proven to be true. as another poster aptly pointed out, with facebook...etc the bullying reverberates much longer than the playground/hallways of old.

[saskatoonie]

02:41 AM on 02/13/2011

Really? That is the comment you are making about this important issue? It is my observation as a parent of almost thirty years that Mr. Smith is right. We need to intervene when we see bullying happening and teach empathy and respect to our children!

[adamben]

06:18 PM on 02/13/2011

i didn't deny that at all. what i am saying is that that study did not prove that bullying is "more prevalent" now than in the past. i don't deny that you have a feeling based on anecdotal experience, but that is not science. i am defending science, not bullying. and i am not saying you shouldn't stop bullying asap. please do. the point of the paper is that it is more common now, without basing that on science, which means you need to analyze your data, compare it to appropriate controls and use statistics properly, that is it need to be statistically significant. this is something that they did not do.

so, please continue teaching your children to be good. and please do tell people your anecdotal observations. but also don't forget to teach them about science/statistics/math, and the difference between opinion and scientifically researched facts.

[Ralph Perman]

02:49 PM on 02/09/2011

Bullying like racism, are learned conditions. Children are Not born with these traits. They are taught (usually by someone they look up to and respect).

[Gonzo36]

07:38 PM on 02/09/2011

Children (and adults) ARE born with these traits. Why do you think so many Germans fell in line during WW2?

[Ralph Perman]

08:10 PM on 02/09/2011

People are born with limited emotions. Mainly love, trust, and Fear. It is how we have evolved the Fight or Flight response as a part of self preservation.
People fear the dark because they cannot see what is in it. But they do not hate the dark. People fear deep water because they can't see the bottom. But again they do not hate it. Racism, Hate, and Bullying can only be learned.
Learn a little more History and you will find that is also the case with the Germans starting in the late 20s.

[saskatoonie]

02:42 AM on 02/13/2011

Nope, that wasn't the reason, do a little more reading.

[Cael]

10:43 AM on 02/09/2011

First thing is stop blaming the children and start blaming ourselves.
The article says "parents, educators and the community can fight bullying by teaching values like respect, compassion, realistic expectations of others."

That is all great, but how about the adults start showing those qualities towards kids and stop treating them like second class citizans. Some people say respect is earned. I see respect as a right, and it is yours to lose.

Most kids if shown that they are respected, that their views and opinions have value will respond. Sure some won't, but that shouldn't stop us from trying.

I have spent years around kids, especially teenagers. I have never had any issues with them, because I listen to them, I show them respect, I believe in them.

Kids are capable of amazing things, things us adults struggle with, stop stepping on their wings and let them fly.

[saskatoonie]

02:47 AM on 02/13/2011

Yes but children do not know everything and they should be made aware of the fact that they do not know everything........we all know that as children most of us were raised by our neighbours as well as our parents, it was a group effort. If you try to tell your neighbours child anything these days, the parent bites your head off and the child gives you the finger!

[JustJoy7]

10:19 AM on 02/09/2011

You know, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. When you listen to parents today in the political front, you can understand why kids are so mean. KIDS LIVE WHAT THEY LEARN, and the learning begins at home. 'Nough said.

[SkinnyCoolKid]

09:09 AM on 02/09/2011

The answer to bullying does not start with bullies, but with adults. Adults create the environment within which students operate and behave. Teachers can bully, parents can bully, politicians can bully, and entire countries can bully. They've learned it from watching us. School staff members often glorify the athletes and buddy up with the popular kids, while failing to develop relationships with the outcasts. If we want to fight bullying, we must start by addressing the attitudes and actions of adults.

[jessivehadit]

06:16 AM on 02/09/2011

Both the bullies here and the kids getting bullied are a bunch of babies. They should see how the kids are in England. You learn to stand up for yourself, toughen up, grow a brain and some wit.

[Just a passerby]

10:15 AM on 02/09/2011

*facepalm for the utter twittery of the above post*

[JMilton1976]

04:08 PM on 02/08/2011

As a educator who has worked in the social emotional aspect of schools for years, I KNOW this article's thesis to be fact. Kids are losing all social skills. My hypothesis is two fold. First, technology is creating a generation of kids who lack even the most basic interpersonal skills. Also, the least intelligent of us are reproducing at an exponentially higher rate. We truly are regressing towards an "Idiocracy".

[ConcernedAboutRFuture]

10:55 PM on 02/08/2011

I don't doubt what you are saying.... and am scared for my son's future.

[Candide33]

10:08 AM on 02/09/2011

I used to have tea-parties to teach my students manners and etiquette, I bought them all toothbrushes, toothpaste and floss and taught them how to brush their teeth, I rolled all of it into science lessons so that I could get away with it.

The tea-parties we studied volume, surface tension etc. and the tooth care I rolled into the study of bacteria. I was surprised the first time that I did it, only 3 students had ever been to the dentist.

Of course as soon as admins discovered that I was actually teaching, I would get reprimanded.

Children behave better and learn more when they feel that their teacher really cares about them... now if only admins cared at all... I am sure bullying would go down significantly.