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Ricky Gervais Writes Oscar Script For James Franco, Anne Hathaway

Gervais

First Posted: 02/24/11 01:43 PM ET Updated: 05/25/11 07:35 PM ET

Ricky Gervais isn't hosting the Oscars, but after reading this, there's a case to be made on his behalf.

If you enjoyed his Golden Globes blast-fest, you'll absolutely love this.

James Franco and Anne Hathaway are taking lead for Sunday's ceremony, and have promised that theirs won't be an insult fest like Gervais's Globes performance. But if they decide to change their minds, Gervais has written an opening script that hits out at Hollywood entitlement -- and criticism he's taken since the show.

Here's a sampling:

JF You probably know me from "127 Hours" where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this f**king ceremony and you'll start to identify with him.

AH
And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.

Of course, he doesn't just hit out at the hosts and the proposition of a safe telecast. He does that while hitting out at the actors themselves.

AH But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London...

(Nervous laughter)

He's doing some charity work.
Yeah, he's visiting orphans with cancer.
He's telling them what bald little losers they are...

JF
Yeah, cos he's rude right?

(Applause)

Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It's going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.

And it only gets spicier from there. To read it all, click over to Gervais's blog.

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Ricky Gervais isn't hosting the Oscars, but after reading this, there's a case to be made on his behalf. If you enjoyed his Golden Globes blast-fest, you'll absolutely love this. James Franco an...
Ricky Gervais isn't hosting the Oscars, but after reading this, there's a case to be made on his behalf. If you enjoyed his Golden Globes blast-fest, you'll absolutely love this. James Franco an...
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02:15 PM on 02/28/2011
Looks like Gervais was pretty much spot-on.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jonesygal
Talk Nerdy to Me
01:56 AM on 02/27/2011
man o man do I love Ricky Gervais! :)
09:49 PM on 02/26/2011
Think Twice before Watching the Academy Awards (Oscars)
http://www.psychology-advice.net/think-twice-before-watching-the-academy-awards-oscars
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
marred
08:15 PM on 02/26/2011
If you arseholes didn't take yourselves so seriously there'd be no need for Ricky Gervais' comments but thank god you do!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kiksadi50
03:16 PM on 02/26/2011
donald rumsfeld has a better sense of humour than franco.Gervais is absolutely spot on when he says that the oscars is an evening of overprivileged,over paid, over-indulged, self-obsessed,ego trippers,patting themselves on the back in borrowed jewels & designer clothing & thanking god for choosing them to be singled out with a best actor win.Our economy has tanked.millions of americans are unemployed.people by the millions can't take care of their kids when they get sick because they have no medical coverage.Every actor has to belong to the union,the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) yet I didn't hear Franco or hathaway or any other hollywood big shots speaking out to support the union protestors in Wisconsin.They were too busy inventoring their $10,000 oscar goody bags.the world is exploding with civil unrest because of poverty & oppression.franco,should shut up & go do some charity work.
06:26 AM on 02/27/2011
Yes! Well said!
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EagleFliesInSky
Artist at work.
11:04 AM on 02/27/2011
Thanks for those comments. Spot on.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Dr Confuso
Australian/American Broadcast veteran...
03:04 PM on 02/26/2011
Right about now, Ricky OWNS Hollywood! Learn to love it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Coneja
08:21 PM on 02/26/2011
I don't think so.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ltheghost
TRUTH!
12:49 PM on 02/26/2011
"And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too. "---RUTHLESS!!!! Dang Ricky!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Gerald Ward
12:07 PM on 02/26/2011
Rick Rocks!
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Ryan Schmidt
10:57 AM on 02/26/2011
lol.. Nice..
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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Debbie338
What we manifest is before us
10:22 AM on 02/26/2011
"...thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners."

Perfect and right on target. How arrogant can they be? They pretend they're being humble, but in reality they're reminding everyone that God thinks they're special.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lori Aretz
10:18 AM on 02/26/2011
I love Ricky Gervais! I hope he never changes.
08:56 AM on 02/26/2011
I am not sure what is the big deal. Ricky is just being himself.

I guess his humor is only funny when he is talking about other people and not you Hollywood folks.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Gentleman Agitator
"...morality is, in fact, hidden in everything.."
10:50 AM on 02/27/2011
No, it is never really funny. And that is not a defense of Hollyweird. Hopefully his fifteen minutes will be up soon.
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EagleFliesInSky
Artist at work.
11:06 AM on 02/27/2011
I think he's hilarious! He pokes at the super egos and they squeal while we laugh. Love him!
April22
Some experiences in life are ineffable
11:33 PM on 02/25/2011
Ricky, luv you!

What happened, Hollywood couldn't take a joke about themselves?
09:34 PM on 02/25/2011
Thanks Ricky but it won't be the same. . . . .
NOSOCIALNETS
My bravestance against FACEBOOK
12:20 PM on 02/25/2011
Mr. Gervais should be the editor of the Huffpo "entertainment" section. I bet he would ban all features concerning the - no sing - no dance - no talent - Kardashians!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
InABox
Because I couldn't think of a catchier screen name
01:26 AM on 02/26/2011
But Kim can do "mouth tricks." There's video proof!