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Carey Fuller Chronicles Her Experiences As A Homeless Parent In 'Writings From The Driver's Side'

Homeless Families

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 03/10/11 09:57 PM ET Updated: 05/25/11 07:40 PM ET

In 2004, as her two children slept in the 1981 Minnie Winnebago they would now have to call home, Carey Fuller sat down to write her first poem.

"I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, and there's only so much gum-chewing you could do," she explains. So, she wrote. She wrote to find solace when things were out of her control and as a defense from her newfound invisibility. She wrote because she simply could not think of anything else to do.

This March, over seven years later, she self-published her work in a collection called "Writings from the Driver's Side," revealing the experiences she endured and continues to experience as a homeless mother.

Fuller was cast into homelessness after the birth of her second child, when she could no longer afford rent as a single mother. "Child support stopped seven years ago and that's how I lost my apartment, that and lack of affordable childcare. Without childcare, I could not go to my job and I couldn't make my oldest daughter stay home from school to watch her baby sister." Sensing she would soon be on the street, she used the last of her income -- a $2,000 tax refund -- to purchase the Winnebago.

As a homeless single mother with two daughters, ages 9 and 1 and a half, Fuller found she was completely alone. Through writing she not only found her voice, but she eventually found the courage to come "out of the closet," a term she uses to describe the isolation single parents face when they must live on the streets. "The only person I had to comfort me, was me."

Each day she faced a reality of sleepless nights and life on the move. She worked the midnight shift, printing newspapers for $8 an hour while her two children slept inside their old RV in the parking lot outside.

While her girls were at school, she job-hunted, and in the hours in between she drove her family from rest stop to rest stop, to avoid being questioned by the police or ticketed by parking lot owners. "Most of what I make is spent on gas," she explains. "This is how it's been for the last seven years and I have no idea when things will change."

Because she worked hard, long hours, Fuller eventually pushed herself past the point of exhaustion. It was then that she began getting hemiplegic migraines, a rare form of the headache that can cause seizures and temporary paralysis. As her medical condition worsened, Fuller was unable to work and eventually found herself jobless again.

In 2010, Fuller decided to speak out about her situation. Though she remained anonymous, she wrote a letter to Change.org author, Josie Raymond, called "What It is Like to be a Homeless Mother." For the first time she was able to voice the frustrations she felt toward a system that was not there for her when she needed it. She was able to break down stereotypes of the homeless and paint the picture of a reality that many homeless families face each day. "People don't know the truth about homelessness. Most homeless people lost their job, then their home. They have kids."

Homelessness among families is on the rise. The National Coalition for the Homeless reported that more than 600,000 families experience homelessness each year, citing poverty and lack of affordable housing as root causes.

In February 2009, President Obama addressed this impending crisis in a press conference, declaring that "it is not acceptable for children and families to be without a roof over their heads in a country as wealthy as ours." Then, in 2010, the Obama administration released "Opening Doors: Federal Strategic Plan To Prevent And End Homelessness." It is described by the Chair of the United States Interagency Council on Homelessness (USICH), Shaun Donovan, as the "nation's first ever comprehensive Federal Strategic Plan to Prevent and End Homelessness."

The Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR) assesses that 37 percent of homeless in 2009 were families. Again, housing costs were cited as a primary concern.

The FY2012 budget will provide "more than $2.5 billion to continue progress toward the Administration's goal to end chronic homelessness and homelessness among veterans and families, implementing an innovative, multi-agency strategic plan."

But Fuller believes more must be done. This is why she continues to call out to others who share her struggles each day.

"The only way to get people to do something about it is to put it in their face," she says. This is why Fuller continues to write, to spread her message to others who may be going through something similar, or who may not understand what homelessness in America is really like. She encourages other homeless parents to do the same.

Though she currently has found a residence with a friend, she struggles to find work and constantly worries she will soon again have to subject her daughters to life on the streets. Each day she reminds her daughters that they are still a family, knowing the negative impact homelessness has had on them.

She remains hopeful, however, that people will do the right thing. There were, after all, people who helped her family get by when they needed help the most. This is why she continues to help others like herself and hopes to raise awareness by breaking down stereotypes.

"It starts at home," she advises, "so take care of your relatives. Take care of your communities. Support your community first, donate to the food bank or to the homeless shelter ... If a collective gets together they can make change. That is what this is all about."

Follow Fuller's blog about her struggles with homelessness at Invisibull.wordpress.com. Carey Fuller's "Writings From the Driver's Side" is available for kindle on Amazon.com.

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In 2004, as her two children slept in the 1981 Minnie Winnebago they would now have to call home, Carey Fuller sat down to write her first poem. "I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, and ...
In 2004, as her two children slept in the 1981 Minnie Winnebago they would now have to call home, Carey Fuller sat down to write her first poem. "I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, and ...
 
 
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04:02 PM on 04/09/2011
As someone who has lived in her car and been a single mother after my husband/father of my children left - I speak from experience.

After reading her blog and then coming here I find her greatest complaint to be that others didn't take care of her. Relatives didn't help her out. That she isn't "ashamed to be homeless" but ashamed that of those that "allowed her to be." [Quote from her blog.]

I fought my ex husband in court over 40 times/ 7 years, with no lawyer and it didn't cost me a dime to do so. I had enough to pay child care with the support. She never makes mention, here/ on her blog, where the father is. I know that they CAN be found and they CAN be required to get a job - even in this economy. So, I have to take exception to the first facet of "take care of your relatives." She says she isn't getting child support, but she has to provide information regarding the father[s] to welfare for her food stamps - and the state can track the person down. Something fishy there.

And there is two sides to the coin regarding her other relatives [family]. Either she doesn't want to be there because there is some sort of problem with them - doesn't want to abide by their rules, they have issues she doesn't want her kids around, etc. OR she has a problem and they don't want her there.

Toomanyquestions.
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OKSunny
06:23 PM on 03/16/2011
As a single mother who BATTLED to get child support for my son (his father and I were together for 4 years and he had an affair-which is why I left) I have to say that the child support laws in this country are a joke. Unless you have money to hire a lawyer you are pretty much screwed. Not that I have time to have s#x, but if I ever got pregnant again I would have an abortion.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bertalein
Human Being
06:06 PM on 03/15/2011
These are the true American horror stories. Beating up on socialism and labeling people welfare queens is all the Republicans will do. Any European country would never let a woman live out on the street with her small children, it's a disgrace. We can spend 323 billion on a worthless war, but we can't create jobs to go around and help assist the poorest of the poor. No, in fact they take even more from the poor. You all should be so proud of your selves.
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MikeDu
Both salubrious and lugubrious concurrently.
06:17 PM on 03/14/2011
I know some good hard-working people who are two paycheck and a bit of bad luck away from being in the same position. If you're one of those people who have to wait til their paycheck clears before going grocery shopping for the week maybe you fall into the same category and don't realize it.
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Koeiseun
08:55 PM on 03/12/2011
A bit misleading title.....there's a big difference between living in a "car" and a Wnniebago....
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TruelyFedUp
Ethics is nothing else than reverence for life.
12:35 PM on 03/13/2011
Another deep thinker joins the fray. Yippee...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Roadrun
In Financial Theocracy we Trust
01:15 PM on 03/22/2011
And you wonder why people talk about behind your back, laughing.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
R Davis
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
08:42 PM on 03/12/2011
As the uber-rich do their best to avoid paying their fair share the middle class will continue to shrink as millions slide into the abyss of poverty and homelessness. The only solution is for thinking people to do their part and ensure their wishes don't go unheeded. The GOP feeds on ignorance and fear. The only solution is to get out the vote, volunteer when you can, cut down on your TV time. Get off your couch and do your part.
01:43 AM on 03/15/2011
Wishful thinking if you believe the dems are much better than repubs.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
R Davis
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
06:25 PM on 03/15/2011
It is a point of view. If you make less than $250,000.00 you are going to get more from the Dems. than from anyone else. If you make more than $250,000 you are going to get more from the Republicans. The Repbulican Party knows that if only people vote for them that make more than $250,000.00 then they won't get elected. So, they will attempt to push the argument that they will help in the culture wars, make life harder on gays, stop abortions, and some people respond to that. But if you make less than $250,000.00 then they are bad for your wallet even if you agree with their stand on the culture wars.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ergon
Man From Atlan
12:31 PM on 03/12/2011
Homelessness is a problem, for the poor, the mentally ill, and for those who still remember the aftermath of Vietnam, many of our vets returning home will probably end up in that situation too.
Bromides about personal responsibility won't help, nor will teabaggy anger about "their " taxes being used to pay for other people's problems.
The economic and social fabric is breaking down, and unless we all pull together, things will get worse.
theryan
My micro-bio was empty.
11:42 AM on 03/12/2011
When we moved to PA from CA to escape my father, we had to sleep in the car for 2 weeks. For anyone who hasn't done it, let me just say, you don't sleep. Worry gets a hold of you, than it's cold, than the car running for the heat for a little bit keeps you awake. Any noise causes your heart to race. Tears have zero use after day 1, just keeps everyone else pretending to sleep awake. I have tremendous respect for this women, and hope all the best for her. She will be in my thoughts for a long time now.
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Raging Cajun
11:57 PM on 03/12/2011
Why do you respect a woman who had 2 children without being married to the father of either of them and without being able to support them?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TruelyFedUp
Ethics is nothing else than reverence for life.
12:49 PM on 03/13/2011
If you actually focused long enough to read the article you would find that the kid's father quit paying child support. So, now he is bad for not being able to pay and she is bad for not having a home. The kids are bad for being poor and 400 people in this country have as much money as HALF of the rest of the population or 150 million people. What kind of nutty system are we supporting here?

The Federal Government should set up land bases all over the country in which people grow their own organic food, have simple housing and shared buildings such as kitchen, cafeteria, school, library, business center, bath houses, etc. and in which the people living there share the work of gardening and maintaining the buildings and schooling the kids. These would be rent free eco villages that the residents govern themselves. In this way they are proud of the environment because they run and manage it. The fear and shame of homelessness will be gone. Taxpayers lucky enough to have jobs need not feed them forever and they have a safe and stress free place to regroup, find work or start small businesses. Obama is right, there is no reason that a country this wealthy can't care for those in need of some help. With thousands of these free eco villages country wide Americans can know that there is always a safety net if they find they need it.
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OKSunny
06:26 PM on 03/16/2011
Lol--like being married is some invisible force field against being poor and homeless!!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jeff Larkin
11:42 AM on 03/12/2011
Did you know in the state of Florida if you feed more than 25 homeless people you will be taken to jail!! And have to pay a fine.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TruelyFedUp
Ethics is nothing else than reverence for life.
12:53 PM on 03/13/2011
Great, another fascist state in the Land of the Free.

Why is our society so good at punishing those that don't fit the capitalist model of wage slaves working to force the money to the top 400? These guys own as much money as HALF of the population of America or 150 million people.

We need to clean out the existing system and start over again. TODAY.
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OKSunny
06:26 PM on 03/16/2011
What? why?
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OnlyaKing
11:08 AM on 03/12/2011
How about not having the second child when you are already a single mom and already not getting child support for your first child. This is the problem people expect others to take care of them and their children for life after their one night of fun.
11:49 AM on 03/12/2011
That's quite judgmental of you. She was in a relationship, and SHE expected to take care of her children, along with their FATHER. Then he walked out, but apparently you're just fine with that...I mean, why should HE be responsible, right?
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Raging Cajun
11:59 PM on 03/12/2011
Sounds like a reason to not have casual sex with someone whose character you cannot trust, and a very good reason to practice better birth control choices.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
R Davis
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
08:45 PM on 03/12/2011
She obviously has some intelligence. Odds are the father made promises he didn't keep. I've seen it a thousand times.
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Raging Cajun
11:58 PM on 03/12/2011
If she has so much intelligence why did she choose 2 irresponsible men to have illegitimate children with?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ergon
Man From Atlan
10:29 AM on 03/12/2011
We are no longer the richest, nor the Best Country,
And the American Dream has failed its Citizenry,
All this because the Politics of Greed,
Sees not the simple Need,
Of a home, and health, and our children to Feed.
 
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OnlyaKing
11:16 AM on 03/12/2011
Give me a break. This story has nothing to do with the American dream and the only greed in this story is of the mother wanting others to pay for her sexual escapades. For all those who think America is so bad try looking at the rest of the world. The poorest in this country are richer than most in the rest of the word.
11:50 AM on 03/12/2011
Wow. Your reading comprehension really needs work.
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Jeff Larkin
11:56 AM on 03/12/2011
Most people don't think America is bad but maybe expect more than just tax cuts for the rich. And personally i think you are wrong about the greed part and you probly need to open your'e eyes to the real world around you! Obviously you or a close family member have never been down on your'e luck cause it seems you just don't care! It's not just this lady here but for most homeless and people that have and are going through tough times! Our government is responible for it's own people and they seem to just look the other way.
10:26 AM on 03/12/2011
I'm must be missing something! Words of encouragement are great but hardly edible! The Huffington Post opportunity is being squandered, this dear lady needs some cash.

Where is the bank account number in her name so people can quit talking and start acting. I question Huffington Post's intentions, I have seen a story on here before where a woman had 4 kids with the greatest smiles ever, who was on her last leg of survival and I wrote to her time and time again through her account info given by the Huffington Post, and yet no reply.

I wanted to send her a donation! I would like to send a donation to this lady yet there is no way that I see to do so. Huffington Post is just in this for the sensationalism!!!

To make people feel bad. look at all the people comparing their situation to this family; it's not about you!!! it's about this Lady in this moment!

if they want to make people feel better give us an opportunity to help.....get an account number up and let people make donations.

I'm a four time wounded Marine and I always say if you can't take the time to help other people, you're really messed up.

Miss Fuller, Please help me out! send me some info so I can make a donation and feel better about me, I'm selfish.....

grunttuff@nets.com

J Mac
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ergon
Man From Atlan
12:40 PM on 03/12/2011
To be fair, they DID list her blog http://invisibull.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/in-search-of-a-used-transmission/ where you can get in touch with her.
There's also a link where you can buy her book for Kindle on Amazon at the end of the article.
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InisLass
But for the grace of God, go I.
08:37 PM on 03/12/2011
Semper fi, J Mac. Pleased to see a man with compassion. F&F'ed
maxfax
Taa - dah!
09:52 AM on 03/12/2011
Donald Trump should write a book from a car, oh wait, he has a house, a few of them.
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InisLass
But for the grace of God, go I.
09:29 AM on 03/12/2011
Whatever reason one becomes homeless, it comes down to that adage, "but for the grace of God go I". There are too many things that can cause it, especially these days and anyone who thinks it can't happen to them, needs to look more intensely at the multiple situations that can cause homelessness. People become ill and medical issues can drain everything one has attained. Too many people tried to "do things" the right way and it backfired. Most of us who are being honest, at least with ourselves, know we were downright lucky that some of our mistakes didn't backfire on us. I don't EVER want to lose my compassion for someone going through a rough time, whether they became ill, made bad choices or what-have-you. I applaud Carey Fuller for truly being there for her kids.
maxfax
Taa - dah!
09:57 AM on 03/12/2011
2011 America, a homeless woman with children in a car while Anerica subsidizes Exxon and all the oil companies who are earning the largest profits, in the$billions in history.
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InisLass
But for the grace of God, go I.
10:22 AM on 03/12/2011
I've refused to use Exxon since the Valez nightmare.
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westphilly726
Just call me Hot Stuff
10:05 AM on 03/12/2011
F&F.What a great post.I consider myself to be very fortunate.There are so many who do the right thing and by no fault of their own end up homeless.
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InisLass
But for the grace of God, go I.
10:25 AM on 03/12/2011
Me & thee, westphilly. F&F'ed, too.
09:24 AM on 03/12/2011
She doesn't get to the root cause of homelessness. As long as we don't have sound money and Ben Bernanke pushes his 2% inflation goal and government keeps allowing our manufacturing jobs to go overseas we're going to have high unemployment and low paying jobs. Not to mention Fannie and Freddie which help to keep affordable housing a dream and townships mandating that homes be 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms minimum because they want to collect high property taxes.
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TruelyFedUp
Ethics is nothing else than reverence for life.
01:38 PM on 03/13/2011
Right. And the Federal Government keeps on buying up even more land and not letting us use it. What we need are thousands of free eco-villages with organic farming and shared buildings that are worked, managed and governed by the people living in them. They should be free and available for any American that needs a home and safe base from which to restart their lives.

44 million people on food stamps ought to be warning enough that people need a better solution. It isn't hard to figure out.