Rahna Reiko Rizzuto Talks 'Hiroshima In The Morning' On 'The View' (VIDEO)

Author Rahna Reiko Rizzuto stopped by The View Friday morning to talk about her controversial memoir Hiroshima in the Morning, which details her decision to end her 20-year-marriage and leave her two young sons behind.

"I never really wanted to be a mother," Rizutto admitted. "I had this idea about motherhood that it was just going to take me over and swallow me up."

At the age of 37, Rizzuto was given the opportunity to spend six months in Japan talking to atomic bomb survivors for a book she was writing. What began as a research trip turned into a journey of immense self-discovery that ultimately caused her to end her 20-year marriage, and walk away from her family.

Reactions to her story have been anything but mundane; some critics have even sent her death threats.

"I’m worse than Hitler apparently," she remarked.

Yet, she maintains that her choice was right for her and her family.

"Everybody has their own choices, but my choice works for us and I think it's not so selfish for women to say 'okay, I would like to have my own priority, I would like to have something in my life, I would like to be able to do my job,'" she said. "I’ve had a lot of women write to me and say 'thank you for telling your story,' and they may not have the exact same story but they’ve been ambivalent, they’ve struggled and even the best mothers don’t always feel like they are."

Today, Rizutto lives down the street from her ex-husband and teenage sons, with whom she has a "great" relationship.

"Because we got a divorce and because [my ex-husband] had always wanted to be the primary caretaker, it worked for our family that they stayed in the home they lived with their Dad. I’m the one who moved down the street," she said. "We really made it work. And then I get to give them my best."

WATCH:

Comments

[Amy Fleischer]

05:54 PM on 04/02/2011

My issue with this woman still remains that she never wanted children. It well and fine that she's in her children's lives now. Too often parents don't take full responsibility. My frustration with this woman remains that she gave in to her husbands relentless please for children in spite of her better judgement.

Congratulations, she turned out to be a good mother to her children. But what does this say to other who know they don't want to be a parent, yet are with someone who does? She happens to be a responsible adult that was able to raise children, but who can say that this is everybody? This just gives other people a reason to tell their significant other who doesn't want children, "Look! She did it! I'm sure you can too!" And that is just a blatant lie.

[AnotherTry]

06:38 AM on 03/17/2011

My mother told me that if she could do it over, she wouldn't have kids. I listened. I will not have kids.

[jmabeles]

11:04 AM on 03/16/2011

Forget everything else, the most damaging thing this woman ever did was say, "I never wanted to be a mother". Although she may love her children and they may love her back, in the back of their mind they know they were unwanted and basically a burden to their mother and will never know if they still are or not.

Most men that I know who did in fact get kicked out or leave their wives and lived close by never said that they didn't want to become fathers.

[diesel09]

02:07 PM on 03/16/2011

How do you know what these kids are or will be thinking? Have you even been in a position like them?
She is in their lives. If she would have said all this and had nothing to do with them, yeah there probably would be some hurt feelings. Maybe they are having a great childhood having dad raise them.
People need to stop putting your family social norms on others.

[Curchel Smoot]

10:12 PM on 03/15/2011

I find this hillarious! She's evil because she's acting like a man? Man say and do this all the time! Leaving your kids with their dad is NO DIFFERENT than husbands who leave their kids with their MOM! And men complain about not really wanting to be fathers but get guilted into it by women dying to be mothers.....then use it as a reason to ditch the woman and her kids! SAME STORY IN REVERSE! I for one is happy the kids is with the parent that more wants the parental role!

[SeattleSistah]

03:10 AM on 03/16/2011

Two wrongs don't make a right..... its okay for her to leave her children because men do it all of the time?

As an independent woman, she needs to own her decisions. She knew she never wanted kids but brought two into the world anyway. Given her sentiment, it is probably best for the children that their father has custody. However, it will still be a bitter pill for the kids to swallow -- especially if they happen upon this interview.

[Num1Christy]

03:25 PM on 03/14/2011

People are entirely too judgmental.

[PoliticalJunkie65]

05:24 PM on 03/14/2011

Especially when they can hide under an alias on the Internet.

[FPhoebe]

01:44 PM on 03/14/2011

When women say they don't want children, everyone looks at them like they have three heads. I know, because I'm one of them. Then I'm told I'll change my mind someday. I once read an article about a young woman in her 20's who wanted to have her tubes tied, and she went to many, many doctors who all said they wouldn't do the surgery because she was young and would probably change her mind. Women feel pressured to get married and have children because that's what they're 'supposed' to do. I feel bad for this woman because she obviously felt that pressure, and maybe thought it would be different than what it really was. She shouldn't be on tv saying she never wanted her kids, but at least she did the nice (read: nice, not responsible) thing and left instead of being miserable and dragging her family into her misery.

[alithegreat]

04:49 PM on 03/14/2011

my cousin had a baby last year, she's 30 years old, and wanted to have her tubes tied. the doctor refused. she had to settle for an IUD even tho she's single, wasn't sure exactly which fella actually fathered the child (she is not monogamous, has no desire to be monogamous), and is positive she does not want more children (even tho the little guy is a tremendous blessing, he's also a child so he's also a huge obligation), and 30 years old. the 28-yo female ob/gyn flatly refused to give her a tubal bc she only had one (UNplanned) child and is still of child-bearing age. sickening.

[ChaCubed]

11:37 AM on 03/14/2011

When a divorced father leaves the children with their mother because he believes that's whats best for his children, and buys/rents a place down the street from his children, so he can stay involved in their lives and make the arrangement as least stressful as possible for his children, everyone thinks he's wonderful: when a divorced mother does the same thing, she "abandoned" her children.

These reactions remind me of my wonderful nephew and his wonderful wife: whenever he feeds the baby, or takes the baby for a walk, or ANYTHING, women coo all over him, "Isn't he a GREAT DAD! Wow, look at him with the baby? Isn't that WONDERFUL! Oh, he's sooooooo nice!!!" Which are all true, but his wife brings it in perspective when she says, "Nobody makes a big deal over me when I feed the baby."

[EvaluatingItAll]

08:08 AM on 03/23/2011

I agree; also add to the list that men "BABYSIT" their children when they are the only parent at home for an hour, whereas women are merely doing their job by being there.

[Kelley Smith]

11:09 AM on 03/14/2011

The stereotype that all women are naturally loving and automatic care-givers is just that, a stereotype. It does take courage to tell yourself and those you really love the truth. This woman is at most honest with herself and her family. This is prove of a good mother.

A bad mother, would lie about her true feelings, but treat her family in the same manner as her feelings. This is the difference.

[MarcEdward]

10:09 AM on 03/14/2011

I guess it's like somebody who adopts kittens, realizes that they are work, and drops them at an Animal Shelter. Yes, somebody who dumps their kids because they want to "realize" something is a selfish flake. Putting somebody like that on TV is like putting somebody on TV who likes raising dogs to fight them.

[diesel09]

01:57 PM on 03/16/2011

Maybe her action's were somewhat selfish but in the big picture she did what was best for the kids. Who want's a parent around that doesn't want to be there? That is how bad things end up happening to the kids.
My stepmom gave custody of my 3yo sister to my dad when they divorced. People were all freaking out because she did that. My sister is lucky that the irresponsible parent was smart enough to know that she would not be as good as a parent as my dad. My sister now 27 and her mom are now close.
There might be some kids who will be in a better position because a mom saw this woman and realized that there isn't one perfect way to raise a family.

You are going to compare this woman letting her husband raise her children to Michael Vick?? Get a clue!!!

[LadyMorganDA]

03:50 AM on 03/14/2011

Umm..people??? Moving a few houses away when the kids have a father who is devoted to them is NOT abandoning them. My mother left me when I was 5 years old, and hasn't lived in the same country with me since. I have 3 kids that I would never ever leave...and I was ready to make that decision when I had them. My mother wasn't ready, it was a differant time. I am so very glad that women (and men) are better able to chose their destiny now.

[kellygreen]

11:10 AM on 03/14/2011

There is such a thing as "emotional abandonment"...

...and getting on national TV and telling the whole world that you never really wanted your children, and that you fled from them because you were afraid that their legitimate needs would consume you IS emotional abandonment.

This woman is a deeply damaged individual...who is doing her children damage with every word out of her mouth. In fact, in light of what she's now saying....I agree with her. It IS in the children's best interests for the father to be the custodial parent.

Because she is an emotional cripple...and is apparently unwilling to confront that fact.

[mrsL]

12:17 PM on 03/14/2011

and to make it worse, she is now publically documenting this and hoping to make a buck off of it too. Maybe her teens seem alright with it, but I guarantee in 10 to 20 years she's going to find out differently.

[carmenalex]

10:57 AM on 03/15/2011

WRONG WRONG WRONG
You are just playing out you stereotype of what a woman is "supposed": to be.

She is a "deeply damaged individual" BECAUSE SHE IS DOING WHAT MOST MEN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!" When MEN divorce, they STOP LIVING WITH THE FAMILY, THEY LIVE NEAR BY, AND THEY VISIT THEIR CHILDREN, AND IF THEY DO THIS AND PASS ON THE BUCK THEY ARE 'GOOD FATHERS' A woman does EXACTLY THE SAME THING and is vilified to no end. SHE VISITS THEM, IF SHE HATED THEM SHE WOULD HAVE RUN AWAY AND NEVER SEEN THEM AGAIN.....but she did not do this. EMOTIONAL CRIPPLE MY BUTT. THEN ALL DIVORCED MEN ARE EMOTIONAL CRIPPLES. following your logic. Divorce should be made illegal then.

[TheLibraryOfCodex]

01:56 AM on 03/14/2011

***I never really wanted to be a mother***

I'm sure her sons will appreciate hearing that.

[kellygreen]

11:11 AM on 03/14/2011

Yep.

That's the emotional abuse.

[Curchel Smoot]

10:15 PM on 03/15/2011

so....is it abusive when men say they never wanted to be fathers?

[TheLibraryOfCodex]

12:06 AM on 03/16/2011

Yes, if they have children.

[VoteObama2012]

12:29 AM on 03/14/2011

Reminds me of one of our neighbors. She didn't want kids, doesn't LIKE kids, but had 5 at her husband's request.

She was so sick of kids by the last one, she would let him crawl around the neighborhood in his diaper so her blathering phone conversations wouldn't be interrupted. Her children have/will suffered because of all the neglect and cruelty from her.

[earthlingz]

12:07 AM on 03/14/2011

She should have realized this before she had children. Unfortunately society has trained us so well into thinking we all need to get married, breed, buy a house, SUV, ipod and ipad.

[Num1Christy]

03:16 PM on 03/14/2011

You can't know what it's like to have children until you have children, and then it's obviously too late.

[mrsL]

10:43 PM on 03/13/2011

She's selfish and she will someday be alone and lonely.

[Michelle Reed Whitnah]

11:05 PM on 03/13/2011

Just like the men who aren't the primary caregiver after a divorce? Why is it she is selfish, when no one bats an eye at a man doing this.

[whinenot]

10:49 AM on 03/14/2011

For as long as I can remember, men have been damned for being 'deadbeat dads', jerks and many other more crude discriptions for this type of behavior...by women. Equal rights is important and if this woman chooses this path fine. But, that does not mean as a woman she will be able to avoid the same scorn as men have gotten from generations of women. Your statement that 'no one bats an eye at a man doing this' is factually incorrect. Trust me, as a male I have heard men called very crude things for similiar behaviors and that 'women are the nurturers'. What this incident reminds us of is that neither sex has a corner of any virtue or trait.

[mrsL]

12:07 PM on 03/14/2011

No... I'm pretty sure there are men who end up alone and lonely as well - my father being one of them. And who says one one bats an eye? When my former BIL left my sister I had plenty to say about it, as did his children. I don't think men get off scott free any more.

[Wonder Woman2]

12:02 AM on 03/14/2011

No she's not - selfish would be keeping custody when you know you aren't the best primary parent. And doing so because some small minded person would consider you selfish.

[MarcEdward]

10:11 AM on 03/14/2011

She left her kids for her own fulfillment.
That is being selfish.
Seems simple enough for me, but maybe I'm just "small minded" that I expect people to care for those they are supposed to care for. Big minded people, so much better than me, are cooler, and abandon their kids and kittens when they become inconvenient. G-d protect me from being cool like that.

[kellygreen]

11:17 AM on 03/14/2011

It's selfish to the extent that she is under the DEEPLY flawed notion that meeting her own needs, and those of her children are a black-and-white, zero-sum game.

Someone who is emotionally healthy, can do both. Women do it every day.

But given that she is apparently unwilling to learn this...and do what is required to become healthy for the sake of her children (and ultimately herself)....

...then yes, is somewhat less selfish to give up the children to the father. Because it will minimize the damage that she would be capable of inflicting upon them as sole custodial parent.

Being "small-minded" is not criticizing her flight-from-responsibility.

Being "small-minded" is going into the national media and telling everyone that you never wanted children, will not be PROFOUNDLY hurtful to the children you did decided to bring into the world.

[ShellyintheWest]

10:26 PM on 03/13/2011

I call BS. When you have kids, love and protect them no matter how or when you got them. This is not multiple choice.

[Sunflo]

05:57 AM on 03/14/2011

+1

[kellygreen]

11:19 AM on 03/14/2011

Faved.

As one of my favorite celebrities likes to say.

"Some choices are the right choice. Other choices we have to make right."

She brought these kids into the world, and it is her duty to make that choice right. Even if it was not the right choice for her. ...and that includes not going to the media and telling the entire nation that you never wanted your kids.

[diesel09]

02:12 PM on 03/16/2011

What if by her staying she was going to be a horrible mother?

Maybe giving up custody of her kids was the right choice for them.

There are WAY TOO MANY biological parents out there that have no business raising kids.