The New York Times published an article we've been meaning to write for a while now, declaring the "perp walk" -- a.k.a. famous people's paths into the courtroom -- to be the new catwalk.
Ruth La Ferla cites, of course, Lindsay Lohan's most recent struts after being accused of felony grand theft. Lohan stepped out to the Airport Superior Court on February 9 in a $575, white Kimberly Ovitz sweater dress that sold out immediately. Then Ruth mentions us -- "A chorus of self-appointed style pundits at news and gossip outlets including TMZ.com, The Huffington Post and Us Weekly frowned on her choice as unseemly at best, and unlikely to impress a jury or a judge." Not sure when we frowned, since we read it causes wrinkles. We think we did some smirking, but that's about it.
Someone who doesn't sound too happy about Lohan's outfit choices is Hollywood attorney Gloria Allred. She told the Times, "If anything, [Lindsay's] outfits are alienating. A court wants to feel that the defendant has a proper respect for the gravity of the occasion. I suppose we ought to be grateful that she's not wearing shorts."
And now, because we are seemingly the arbiters of perp walk style, we present with commentary our five picks for the best-dressed perp walkers.
Lil' Kim kept in mind that it's always important to accessorize while facing the judge for conspiracy, perjury, making false statements and obstruction. That, and she sometimes went matchy-matchy with her lawyer (middle pic, background).
Naomi wasn't as gussied up for court as she was to perform her court-ordered community service in 2007. The supermodel turned up at the New York City Sanitation Department Depot clad looking photo shoot-ready -- most notably on her last day, during which she wore a Dolce & Gabbana gown and stilettos. But never one to commit a crime of fashion, she changed into boots to do her work.
This man knows you're never fully dressed without a smile and transition lenses to match your outfit. Bonus points for the blue suit -- so sick of seeing men looking boring in the courtroom, amirite?
Winona attended all phases of her 2002 shoplifting trial looking completely polished in clothes she may or may not have gotten a five finger discount on.
Okay, okay. We'll throw Lohan a sartorial bone. But not because we think she looked particularly interesting -- we're just impressed that she matched her nails to her 'tude.