11 Lamest 'Jersey Shore' Products (PHOTOS)
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When you think about it, giving a thumbs up to a bronzer probably is the best thing one of the cast members from "Jersey Shore" can do for their fellow man. These aren't people who have hidden talents or depths that will one day enrich the whole of human experience. So we're not casting aspersions on the idea of Jwoww or The Sitch endorsing something. We're just recognizing that like their celebrity spokespersons, these products really have nothing to offer.
The Official GTL Laundry Bag
Gym, tanning and laundry make up the mythical "GTL", the main drive of douche bags everywhere. After the phrase was coined on the first season of the "Jersey Shore" it was only a matter of time before there was the eventual product cash-in. The Situation teamed with Green Garmento to fill this need with a reusable laundry bag. The bag is both environmentally friendly (green) and comes in two colors: black and eye-blinding green. You can spot the official bag because of it's signature tribal style logo, which is totally not douchey. Picture via <a href="http://thegreengarmento.com/shop/the-situation-official-gtl-bag" target="_hplink">Green Garmento</a>
Generic "Jersey Shore" Beauty Products
With all of the personality specific products, it's good to know that the "Jersey Shore" brand itself is still licensing things. "jersey Shore" branded beauty kits ensure that you'll look like a "gorilla juice-head" or a "guidette" whenever you go out. Not to mention that "Jersey Shore" brand sunscreen may be the most ironic use of branding ever. Via <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/fckbp/thats_it_society_i_quit/" target="_hplink">Reddit</a>
"A Shore Thing" By Snooki
Snooki's contributions to her novel consisted of her talking to a writer over the phone about what she thought would make a good story. The end result was "A Shore Thing", a novel that follows the story of Snooki's alter-ego "Gia" and her friend "Bella". The prose tackles serious issues like date rape (really) and accidently letting a fart go while dancing.
The rejected "Jersey Shore" member didn't get a full 15 minutes of fame and is desperately trying to hang onto what little exposure she had. Angelina decided that the best way to capitalize on her "fame" was to release a single on Youtube. This "song" (and we use that term loosely) makes us feel physically ill and that's when Angelina isn't screeching through our speakers. Listen at your own risk.
The Situation's Exercise Products
With a workout video and a deal to be spokesperson for NOX Edge, The Situation's signature abs have made him a pretty penny. All of the products should come with a disclaimer that Situation-level results can only be achieved when you have a job with no real responsibilities and nothing but free time.
Pauly D and Miracle Whip
Ok it's not a "Jersey Shore" product, but this is by far one of the most bizarre sponsorship deals to come out of the reality show. For some reason the good people over at Miracle Whip decided to put Pauly D in a commercial and have him trash their product. We're not sure if this is reverse psychology or if people who like Miracle Whip hate Pauly D. Either way the correlation doesn't seem to be too strong.
JWoWW's "Black Bronzer"
If you've ever looked at JWoWW's burnt sienna colored skin and said to yourself "That's what I want to look like, just with smaller boobs" then this product for you. As far as we know this is just a regular bronzer, but there is a slight chance that this is her first foray into blackface.
Sammi Sweetheart's Fragrance
Sammi Sweetheart released her own fragrance "Dangerous." We can't be sure, but the scent is probably a mix of Ronnie sweat, cheap vodka and whatever it is that her hometown of Hazlet, NJ smells like.
Snooki's Party Ball Necklace
Do you want to relieve the classic moment of Snooki being dropped in the ball on New Years Eve? No? Well someone probably does, because Snooki released this commemorative necklace so you can re-live the magic of a small Italian girl being dropped from the sky.
For the alcoholic who wants to get in an extra boost of protein to aid in his post-workout recovery Devotion Vodka has you covered. Infused with protein, the vodka caters to the niche demographic of people who want to have significant muscle gains while they destroy their liver and brain. So where else would they look for a spokesperson besides the cast of the "Jersey Shore?" Of course The Situation snapped up this opportunity to get his face out there more and we can't blame him since he's probably saving a ton of money on vodka. Photo Credit: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Devotion-Vodka-Los-Angeles/135276906520487" target="_hplink">Devotion Vodka</a>
Snooki isn't necessarily known for her sense of fashion, but that didn't stop her from from coming out with her own accessory line of... slippers. The slippers are available in colors like hot pink and leopard print so you can dress like you're at the club even when you're taking the poof out for the night. Photo Via <a href="http://snookislippers.com/" target="_hplink">Snooki Slippers</a>