Glenn Beck Leaving Fox: Why It's Really Happening (CHART)

When it was announced yesterday that we will no longer be seeing Glenn Beck's face on Fox News night after night, a lot of people were left asking, "Why?"*

It's common knowledge that Glenn Beck's show was facing a major advertiser problem, but as we've said many times, there's never one reason things go awry in this world. That's why God** invented pie charts. Below we've broken down the different reasons Beck was forced to step down, so that you may have a fuller understanding of why your life has been inexorably changed***.

WHY GLENN BECK IS LEAVING FOX NEWS

*No one actually asked this

**Actually, pie charts evolved from graphs

***For the better

Comments

[Sweet Leaf]

05:28 PM on 04/27/2011

He needs to free up time to usher in the Rapture in 2012. He'll be shopping for a white, flying stallion in the meantime. Oh, and a sword. Gotta have a nice sword to swing around.

[jbeeaz]

12:51 AM on 05/08/2011

Whoa. Somehow I had the impression that he w/b riding a black, gaunted horse carrying a scythe.

[Aaron Kirchmann]

12:13 AM on 04/25/2011

Because he is as crazy as a rat in a tin outhouse.

[Skydave]

05:44 PM on 04/18/2011

Glenn Beck’s contract at Fox News reportedly expires in December of this year, and Fox News is not planning on renewing it. Why? Um, have you ever watched his program? Homeboy is bonkers. Aside from that, Beck has lost some 300 sponsors except for the put all your money into gold, Gold is better in "end times" .

[GlennBeckReview]

10:06 AM on 04/18/2011

Actually, it's none of the above. I think Beck is bad for the conservative movement, and conservatives FINALLY convinced Ailes that Beck had to go or risk blowing the Fox agenda of getting a Republican elected for president in 2012:
http://www.sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/2011/04/glenn-beck-is-genius-of-reactionary.html

[DCreamerII]

04:17 AM on 04/16/2011

Glenn who?

[Matt Longpre]

05:56 PM on 04/14/2011

You forgot a huge chunk of the Soros foundation ninja assassin defense squad spending.

[GlennBeckReview]

10:46 AM on 04/18/2011

No, conservatives pushed Beck out, or at least they made it clear to Ailes that Beck was bad for their movement and agenda.
http://www.sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/2011/04/so-why-did-beck-lose-his-500-slot-at.html

[Medude24]

05:32 PM on 04/11/2011

This would be funnier if it were an elaborate chart sketched out on a blackboard, stringing multiple conspiracy theories together.

[Sweet Leaf]

05:29 PM on 04/27/2011

That would be good.

[beckpod1]

11:51 PM on 04/10/2011

Hire Joe the Plummer....

[listerizermarkIII]

08:16 PM on 04/09/2011

That's true.

[zero-t]

07:26 PM on 04/09/2011

this is a classic

[SimianNation]

04:25 PM on 04/09/2011

It won't happen soon enough!

[Pashovski]

02:22 PM on 04/09/2011

Don't worry GOPhers !! U can still attend Beck U !!

" Beck University -- where we have a Zero tolerance policy...for tolerance, and education "

[hoagie76]

05:51 AM on 04/10/2011

tr()!! alert!!

[Bil Barrett]

08:14 AM on 04/10/2011

We heard you the first time...and second time...and third time....

Is that all you have? You're a one-hit wonder with a broken record!

[Knothare1230]

07:26 AM on 04/09/2011

Now that he has some many gold coins, he was probably just called back to his home planet. Bet it was the plan all along/

[aries1309]

06:34 AM on 04/09/2011

Let me just tell you this America (puts on tear-streaked glasses and stands in front of the chalkboard of conspiracy covered in meaningless lines and babble): There was a song called "Loser," written by a singer named Beck. And now ... And now! ... AND NOW! we see a man named Beck who actually is a loser.

That's right America, the Apocalypse of Death is coming and it wears a pasty pale face and bad hair. Because if you change the B to an S, the E to an A, the C to a T, the K to an A, and finish it of with an N for narcissist, then you've got ... that's right, you saw it... SATAN.

Yes, you heard it here first folks, right here in some random psych ward where they serve really, really good tapioca pudding: GLENN BECK IS SATAN!

And now it all makes sense.

[Brian Davies]

03:15 AM on 04/09/2011

Glen..who? already.....bye