Social Conservatives Will Defeat The Gay Agenda By Inventing New Words

For as long as I can remember, social conservatives have been at war with the "gay agenda" -- whatever that is. Probably just the notion that members of the LGBT community are actual human beings, or something.

Over time, however, they've been losing this fight. As it stands, a majority of Americans "say it should be legal for gays and lesbians to marry," according to a recent poll from ABC News and the Washington Post. Even self-styled opponents of gay marriage are meeting gay people for the first time in their lives and realizing that they aren't monsters. And Republicans are starting to edge toward favoring this position, themselves. Why, there's even an openly gay Republican running for President of these United States.

So, social conservatives are asking themselves, how do we reverse these trends? Honestly, the only way to accomplish that would be by making very old Americans immortal while simultaneously preventing new Americans from being born.

Absent the ability to do that, why not just start using some different words? Here's Sofia Resnick of the American Independent, reporting on this cunning new stratagem:

The first step for Christian conservatives to win the war against the gay movement is to rebrand the terms, said a few panelists at this weekend's The Awakening conference at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va.

"'Gay' is a left-wing socio-political construct designed to create grounds for fundamental rights [based on] whimsical capricious desires," said Ryan Sorba, chairman of the Young Conservatives of California. "Gay identity does not exist."

So the trick here is to invent a new term that steals away from the positive connotations of the word "gay," I guess. We pretty much already know the word they'd like to use, if they had their druthers. But this is all about "rebranding," so here are some of the proposed terms these panelists think might hit all four quadrants:

Sorba proposed alternatives to the word "gay," which received approval by a unanimous show of hands by the 40-some audience members:

- "Same-sex attraction"
- "Same-sex intercourse"
- "Sodomy"
- "Unnatural vice"

Later in the discussion, it was suggested that gays should also be referred to as "anti-Christian."

Of course, these new terms are rife with semantic difficulties. "Same-sex attraction" and "same-sex intercourse" are basically clinical descriptors that aren't loaded with negative connotations. "Sodomy" is a term that, when used, also catches most of your skilled heterosexuals up into the same net. "Anti-Christian" may as well be a term for everything this group already stridently opposes. And I, for one, am only too curious to find out what a room of social conservatives considers to be a "natural vice."

But hey, this group is in desperate need of some sort of game-changer, because they're all still talking about their beef with homosexuality in the same way they have for decades. "If you had all the facts, you wouldn't choose to be gay," said Greg Quinlan, an "ex-gay" who serves as the president of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (the acronym for which is, oddly enough, PFOX).

Hey, you know, based on the facts I have at my disposal, I wouldn't choose to have an egg allergy -- huevos rancheros look delicious! -- but here's the thing: I don't actually have a choice in the matter.

Anyway, go read the whole report. I especially love the guy who says that "promoting gays in the military presents a national threat" because it all "comes down to the soldier who 'has your back or the one who wants to rub it.'" This only reinforces my belief that the best military-themed slashfic is written by homophobes.

Here's the full American Independent article and below is video of the full commentary from Sorba, the chairman of the Young Conservatives of California.

Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to [e-mail] -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.

Comments

[Hope Richardson]

10:07 PM on 05/31/2011

Now now now everyone. Maybe they have a point! After all, if we call them gay, people might think they deserve to be happy like real Americans. That fact that people would choose be be bullied to the point of suicide, beat up, denied civil rights, and rejection by family and friend only adds to the piles of evidence that people chose to be gay. They CLEARLY just do it to get attention.

And of course they can't lump themselves together with other civil rights seekers like blacks, Jews, amoebas, women, Asians, Martians, Canadians, dogs, clowns... they don't choose to be filthy minorities, they were simply born inferior! Gays, however, obviously chose to be the sodomizing, anti-Christian chew toys of society. If we were to let them get married for real, the rapture would come and destroy the world! Just like on the 21st!

[Lupernikes]

12:17 PM on 05/27/2011

http://www.cracked.com/article_18757_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible.html

I draw all who support this idiocy to actually READ their beloved Bible.....also homosexuality is briefly mentioned and much of what these people use is taken completely out of context. Here is another interesting article;

http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian

Like all religious extremists the world over, it's all about people who LISTEN to what OTHER people, people with an AGENDA say about the Bible and not READING the Bible themselves and making informed and accurate judgements. In fact those with the agendas are banking on idiots who claim to be very religious not even bothering to read their own holy book...

[angelpared]

12:07 AM on 05/17/2011

I see a lot of black people in the picture on this article holding up anti-gay signs. Why is a minority group that suffered so much hatred by a majority doing the same thing to others? Did they forget when it was also illegal for someone black to marry someone white? Don't be hypocrites.

[Gennaphyr]

11:09 PM on 04/21/2011

The only "agenda" my lesbian daughter has is to live her life free to love who she chooses.

[Michele Allison]

11:04 PM on 04/21/2011

I believe somewhere in the Bible it says...Judge Not. And, homosexual was not a written word in the text.

[piperflyer]

09:05 PM on 04/21/2011

A little like: termination of pregnancy.
medicinal herbs
social drinking
clothing optional

[onionboy]

12:55 PM on 04/19/2011

I think the only reason conservatives are inventing new words is so that they can have sex with people of the same sex and not have to label themselves as "gay".

[Luckylee218]

01:21 AM on 05/08/2011

Well, they're also not new words. I've been using the term "same-sex marriage" as opposed to "gay marriage" for the past 3 years because it's more correct. It's just new to them because they're finally climbing out of the 1960s.

[Stanley Schulte]

12:16 AM on 04/19/2011

Kind of like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic of the anti-gay movement.

[Neenerpuss]

02:02 AM on 04/16/2011

First They came... - Pastor Martin Niemoller (updated)

First they came for the Gays,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't Gay.

Then they came for the Trade Unionist,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a member of Union.

Then they came for the Muslims,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Muslim.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

[Bob Kellerman]

06:35 PM on 04/16/2011

Yeah, but the mormons and others believe that they have a pass from God, and you will be taken away, not them

[democratbob]

09:52 AM on 04/15/2011

There are many of us who are straight and in long-time straight marriages (personally 31 years + with my wife) who are very much in support of marriage equality. It won't harm my marriage in any way, and it is a Civil Rights issue, regardless of what the nay-sayers have to say.

[Ioan Lightoller]

03:23 AM on 04/16/2011

Fanned and faved. Congrats to you and your wife on so many years together...may you have many more.

[democratbob]

08:18 AM on 04/16/2011

And may you and your husband have many years together as well. I simply cannot see where the difference is; love is love is love and it's wonderful wherever it is.

[GearRatio]

08:18 AM on 04/16/2011

Quite agree, and my wife (29 years & counting) adds her "second."

Still, will admit that I got a chuckle out of the New Yorker cartoon published after the Mass SJC issued their landmark ruling on same-sex marriage. Cartoon showed a fellow reading the paper, while his wife looks on, frowning. The fellow is obviously upset about something he's read, and he says,

"Gays are marrying? Haven't those poor people suffered enough!"

[democratbob]

08:28 AM on 04/16/2011

Love it, but no suffering here.

[Jacques415]

08:02 PM on 04/16/2011

Yep. I think it was Sam Kinneson (sp?) that said, "Marriage is just a way of losing half your stuff every five years..."

Really, marriage and repealing DADT. I'm of an age when I can remember the best way of not being drafted for Viet Nam was to convince the military you were gay. Now, we're fighting to get in? The two crappiest things that straight people deny to gay people are the things we want for us? It's like black people fighting for their right to eat at really bad restaurants.

[robivecchi]

03:42 AM on 04/15/2011

Liberty University... the name alone is such an oxymoron. The audience seems to be mostly gray headed. Not good news for their demographic.

[Bob Kellerman]

03:03 PM on 04/14/2011

"DEAR LORD: JUST GIVE ME A GROUP I CAN PUT DOWN, A GROUP I CAN PRETEND THREATENS SOCIETY, SO I CAN KEEP MY FOLLOWERS EXCTED AND CONTRIBUTING"

AMEN --

PS, Lord: You know it was never the same after You made it unacceptable to put down the Blacks in this country. They were such a great target for centuries. Now we had to find another group to put all our troubles on --- and you know, Lord, they are kinda not so bad, but we
need to hate them.
We really miss wearing those WHITE HOODS, Lord -- why did you take that away?

[geoffrey s]

01:01 PM on 04/14/2011

huh. I can think of numerous terms that are not positive in the least. And I've been called most of them by haters from the Right at one time or another.

Now they think they need more pejorative words? What a joke. They just can't accept that for the majority of people, it's harder to hate a real live person than to hate an abstraction.

[cjk002]

12:16 PM on 04/14/2011

So, these folks held a meeting at Liberty University to strategize about how to deny people.... uh.... liberty.

[Jacques415]

08:03 PM on 04/16/2011

+1

[Ioan Lightoller]

09:01 AM on 04/17/2011

Talk about irony! But then bigots of that stripe tend to equate "liberty" with their "right" to walk all over everyone else. The Founding Fathers would be ashamed.

[Ioan Lightoller]

08:14 AM on 04/14/2011

These ignoranmuses really think that by changing some terms they will defeat the "Gay Agenda"? No, they will not because if there is a Gay Agenda, that agenda would be one word: EQUALITY. All the social regressives will do is to continue to make themselves look more and more and more ignorant. The reason is that their whole platform is based on bigotry and the lies which they tell themselves and others in an attempt to perpetuate that bigotry in law.