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Tajik Divorce By Text Message Stirs Controversy

Tajik Text Message

By OLGA TUTUBALINA   04/27/11 05:38 AM ET   AP

DUSHANBE, Tajikistan -- Some marriages end in a burst of anger, others with a whimper. Marina Dodobayeva's ended with an SMS.

The 33-year-old mother of two was sweeping her yard one October morning when her mobile phone vibrated with a three-word text message from her husband of 14 years.

"Taloq taloq taloq," it read – divorce, divorce, divorce.

With those words, Dodobayeva found herself among the growing ranks of women in predominantly Muslim Tajikistan whose husbands have used mobile phones to issue the "triple taloq," an Islamic ritual in which men can end a marriage by reciting the word for divorce three times.

Dodobayeva immediately called her husband, who was working in Russia as a laborer, for an explanation.

"He told me not to call him any more," Dodobayeva said, "because now he has a new family."

Islam frowns upon divorce but allows it, generally when a husband announces his intention to his wife and a cleric ratifies the decision. Except in rare cases, Muslim women are not allowed to divorce their husbands.

Clerics from Malaysia to Qatar have struggled with the impact of new technology on such proceedings. But in few places have digital innovations muddied the waters as much as in this Central Asian nation.

When Tajikistan was part of the Soviet Union, religion was strictly restricted. But since independence in 1991, conservative Islamic values and customs have grown stronger.

Many Tajik marriages are undocumented, meaning it's impossible to say how many divorces have been carried out by SMS. But religious authorities say they have seen a soaring number of digitally dumped women visiting mosques with desperate pleas for help and guidance.

The growing numbers have prompted Tajikistan's religious authorities to condemn the practice, and moves are afoot to issue a fatwa, or religious edict, against it. Abdurakhim Kholikov, head of the government's religious affairs committee, blames the phenomenon on Tajik men who move abroad in search of work and end up starting new lives.

More than 1 million of the country's 7 million people are believed to be living abroad. One-third of them will not return home, according to International Labor Organization estimates.

"Labor migrants living and working abroad get divorced this way," Kholikov said.

Dodobayeva's husband, Anvar, is one of them. He was forced by mass unemployment to seek work in Russia, leaving his family behind. The couple never registered their marriage, diminishing Dodobayeva's already slender prospects of securing alimony.

"I feel bad for the children. He won't even call them," she said.

Tajik legal expert Rakhmatullo Zoirov said courts can oblige salary-earning husbands who divorce to pay child support, but it's difficult to enforce those decisions on migrant workers.

"The majority of migrants have no fixed place of work and calculating the amount they should pay in alimony is impossible," Zoirov said.

As is customary, Dodobayeva has been living with her husband's family. With her marriage effectively over, she now faces pressure to move out.

"Maybe they won't throw me out for the sake of their grandchildren," she said. "They are their family, after all."

Similar questions have come up elsewhere in the world.

In 2001, Islamic authorities in Singapore ruled divorce by text message to be forbidden. The same year, courts in the United Arab Emirates allowed divorce by SMS provided certain conditions were met, while a Muslim scholar in Qatar decreed that divorce by email was acceptable.

Two years later, an Islamic court in Malaysia ruled that husbands could initiate divorces by text message. The decision prompted a flurry of animated public discussions and much soul-searching about how ancient Islamic customs could be squared with fast-developing, often impersonal, forms of communication.

In some cases, the immediacy of mobile phone technology can backfire on the text message sender.

A court in Saudi Arabia ruled last year that a husband's declaration of divorce by text message in the heat of an argument still remained in force after he calmed down and changed his mind.

The verdict was reportedly greeted with glee by the man's wife.

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04:40 PM on 04/28/2011
He is NO man, at all. But she has NO divorce papers. He is NO adult either.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
inkhosi
12:41 PM on 04/28/2011
I thought a break-up via text message was bad. But a DIVORCE? Wow. He's going to hell.
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relians
the interconnectedness of all things
07:04 PM on 04/27/2011
lifetime marriage is an anachronism. term marriage, with a prenup, is the way of the future.
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04:46 PM on 04/27/2011
I wish this process worked when trying to cancel a wireless carrier plan.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Zilo
Indie--The GOP opposes critical thinking
03:51 PM on 04/27/2011
These people have no respect for women whatsoever. How disgusting.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jennifer Mead
Girls dig unix
04:25 PM on 04/27/2011
Same goes for their children it looks like.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ambrecel
03:34 PM on 04/27/2011
In person is best. This stinks.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jabandit
In vino veritas.
03:32 PM on 04/27/2011
Is that really all it takes? No court dates, no mediation, no child support, no division of assets, no alimony, no visitation schedules.... I need to move to Tajikistan.

But in all honesty, here in America, we need to make it harder to get married... and maybe a tad easier to break the chain. It's 2011 people
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SunEarth
is holding out for the macro-bio.
04:03 PM on 04/27/2011
Lawyers make a lot of money off divorce, so I dont see it getting easier any time soon.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jennifer Mead
Girls dig unix
04:25 PM on 04/27/2011
A lifetime commitment should not be easy to break.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jabandit
In vino veritas.
03:29 PM on 04/27/2011
... thats pretty harsh Muslims.
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darquelourd
You Get What You Play For
03:11 PM on 04/27/2011
if this an example of sharia in action then give me more
democles
swords-r-us
03:05 PM on 04/27/2011
Solution: don't get married.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Zilo
Indie--The GOP opposes critical thinking
03:49 PM on 04/27/2011
Exactly. These men (more like pigs) don't deserve their wives.
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04:46 PM on 04/27/2011
Or don't get a cell phone with texting capabilities.
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75thRanger
Though I Be The Lone Survivor
02:45 PM on 04/27/2011
Man that's cold.

RLTW
02:42 PM on 04/27/2011
If it were only that simple here in America...