This just in from the check-out line magazine rack: both National Enquirer and In Touch claim that Pippa Middleton is moving toward a television deal.
Per the Enquirer, caps lock theirs: "TV queens BARBARA WALTERS and OPRAH WINFREY are secretly DUKE-ing it out over DUCHESS KATE's baby sister in a battle royal to snag her for U.S. TV! Sources close to Baba and O confirm that both talk-show divas are deep into hush-hush talks with Ms. Pippa-licious."
O YES WE DID have to read that thrice to figure out what was being said. Apparently, Barbara previously tried to hire Catherine to co-host "The View," and is now smitten with Pippa. And Oprah is eyeing the 27-year-old for some OWN network programing.
Naturally, In Touch confirms.
Although we'd tune in daily to "Real Talk with Pippa Middleton," we won't begin to list the number of reasons this one isn't true (see some here). However, Kate's little sis was on TV this week in some capacity, apparently mentioned on the season finale of "Glee." USA Today writes:
Blaine said: "We're on our way to get some sheet music. Tomorrow is my audition for the summer show at Six Flags."
Kurt replied: "Whereas I'm spending my summer composing Pip, Pip, Hooray, the broadway musical about Pippa Middleton."
Sam says: "I have no idea who that is but it sounds totally awesome!"
A Pippa Middleton musical? Fah-bulous idea! We're going to start working on it now.
Just, uh, what rhymes with "Pippa"?
Read the rest, if you dare, at National Enquirer.