Dumb Politicians, Celebrities And Criminals: Reader's Digest 'Dumbocracy' Suffers Fools Gladly

It's Memorial Day weekend, a time to remember some of the country's heroes who have made this a great democracy. But when the Reader's Digest gang surveyed the land from sea to shining sea, they found enough boneheaded behavior to make it seem at times as though we live in a "dumbocracy".

You know who they're talking about: dimwitted crooks, airhead celebrities and mindless politicians. Time and time again, these goofy citizens get away with -- or at least try to get away with -- the kind of half-baked ideas that make the rest of us wonder how common is common sense. (We're looking at you, Charlie Sheen.)

"No one really feels sorry for these people," said Reader's Digest editor Andy Simmons. "People love to laugh at them. It makes you feel better that you're not the only schmuck making mistakes."

A full mind-boggling list of blunders, boo-boos and boners comes out in the magazine's June/July issue. But while you kick back this holiday weekend, relax with a sneak peak and feel fortunate that you didn't bungle your way into this group of clueless underachievers.

CHECK OUT THESE DUMB NEWSMAKERS:

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Dumb Celebrities

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Check out Jessica Simpson's oral hygiene tips. The pop star has an unusual way of keeping her teeth sparkling. "I don't brush my teeth. No, really! I just use Listerine -- and sometimes I'll use my sweater," the bubbly beauty said. Now Jessica, tell us, do you use a cardigan or a pullover?

Mealbreakers

Catarina Migliorini

Recipes Using Instant Ramen

Criminal Masterminds

The 50-State Conspiracy Road Trip

Porn Star Gallery

Check out Jessica Simpson's oral hygiene tips. The pop star has an unusual way of keeping her teeth sparkling. "I don't brush my teeth. No, really! I just use Listerine -- and sometimes I'll use my sweater," the bubbly beauty said. Now Jessica, tell us, do you use a cardigan or a pullover?

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Comments

[Johnny Fruckles]

04:42 PM on 07/09/2011

jessica dumb? yeah, dumb as lucille ball...all $1 billion of her.

[tonwsjanki6]

11:22 AM on 06/30/2011

Celebrities And Criminals: Reader's Digest 'Dumbocracy' Full Report view at : http://bit.ly/iAin9h

[temenos]

05:05 PM on 06/01/2011

Under dumb celebrity kids' names let's not forget Nicholas Cage who named his son "Kal-El," Superman's birth name.

[LivelyLexie]

02:28 PM on 06/03/2011

That's by far the worst celebrity name I've ever heard.

[CapsFan1988]

02:14 PM on 05/31/2011

Wow some of these are pretty dumb, but the one that struck me was picture number 8. As a History nerd, I wonder how this Scottish football club could have thought these were Scottish soldiers?! I mean when I first saw this, I was like "oh pictures of German Soldiers" then I read the comment below the picture. Didn't they notice the darker collars, with the collar tabs, those collar tabs were distinctively German!

[inkhosi]

08:56 PM on 05/30/2011

"Dumb idea, smart results"...really? I...just, nevermind. I swear, HuffPost, some of your writers...

[inkhosi]

08:53 PM on 05/30/2011

"Dumb HuffPost" for belitting the intelligence of an animal. Really? It's a meekrat, what do you really expect?

[Democrab]

10:18 AM on 07/08/2011

Most rats are extroverts.

[inkhosi]

08:38 PM on 05/30/2011

Although I don't think it quite merits a lawsuit, I can understand the lady being pissed over the TV station airing the wrong lotto numbers. She has a right to be piss but it's just something you can't legitimately sue for. But, hey, you can pretty much win a lawsuit for anything these days so it's a wonder she didn't win.

[verbatim613]

05:52 PM on 05/30/2011

This list forgot Biden and the Bamster. Their gaffs are hilarious and legion.

[inkhosi]

08:39 PM on 05/30/2011

They forgot to list you and the entire legion of birther imbeciles.

[tyger]

03:55 PM on 05/30/2011

LOL, I like the bank robber who called to reserve a bag of money for later.

[samtee]

10:08 AM on 05/30/2011

Wheres Obama?

[inkhosi]

08:40 PM on 05/30/2011

Where are you?

[krowgrr]

09:35 PM on 05/29/2011

jessica reminds me of a squirrel for some reason...i bet she likes to put nuts in her mouth.

[inkhosi]

08:42 PM on 05/30/2011

Yep, brown ones too.

[behindEnemyLines]

04:16 PM on 05/29/2011

Im sure Jessica Simpson and her billion dollar empire really care what readers digest thinks....

[zelda777]

03:01 PM on 05/29/2011

Jessica Simpson would be the perfect running mate for Sarah Palin!

[PapaPac]

02:37 PM on 05/29/2011

She may be Dumb but she is running a fashion company that is now worth over a billion dollars. If only I could be that kind of dumb

[mrsvonii]

09:55 AM on 05/31/2011

It only because people are dumb enough to buy her hideous fashions.

[newworldman777]

01:42 PM on 05/29/2011

Why America continues to celebrate ignorance while marginalizing intelligence is beyond my ability to comprehend. Jessica Simpson is one example. Her belief that "chicken of the sea" tuna was really meat derived from the harvesting of "sea-chickens" parallels a beauty from Cher. According the the late Sonny Bono, Cher thought that the moon was the back side of the sun. Wow...just, wow. These people are multi multi millionaires, and I, with 6 years of college and an I.Q. in the top 2% on a national scale, am lucky if I can get a job that pays barely more than minimum wage. Such idiotic celebration of "dumbness" and condemnation of "braininess" is why America is on the fast track toward the global dumpster. Who knew?

[lee959]

07:13 AM on 05/31/2011

Honestly I am not being sarcastic or mean but from your comment I can deduce that of your six years in college very little was in the subject of history. Intellectualism has almost never been a desired quality in this country. Think about the people who founded the country. Of the Founders only Jefferson and Franklin were considered intellectual. Notice that Franklin was never President? Albert Einstein was pretty much the nation's fling with smart people. I am convinced he was popular only because of his hair and that he talked funny. We live in an intellectual free zone and always have and It's not going to change any time soon. The only plus is stupid people are so easy to exploit.