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Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners Brought To Life With Stock Photography

First Posted: 07/27/11 03:46 PM ET   Updated: 09/26/11 06:12 AM ET

Too bad you can only win this if your book isn't real; otherwise, Snooki would have been a no-brainer.

If you haven't heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, allow us to introduce you to your new favorite thing (we're all former English majors, right?). Named after the author who originated the line, "It was a dark and stormy night," the contest challenges writers to submit the worst opening lines to imaginary novels they can muster. Cliches are trotted, metaphors are mixed, words are slaughtered... and not a bit of it takes place on the Jersey Shore.

We found ourselves so taken with this year's winners that we decided to bring a few of them to life through the majesty of stock photography. So, do you agree with the judges' picks? Think you can do better? Try writing your own in the comments and see if you have what it takes to be a failed writer. Click over to the Bulwer-Lytton Contest Website to see all of the submissions

Sue Fondrie, Winner
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This Line
Pretty good actually
Burn this book

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Too bad you can only win this if your book isn't real; otherwise, Snooki would have been a no-brainer. If you haven't heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, allow us to introduce you to your n...
Too bad you can only win this if your book isn't real; otherwise, Snooki would have been a no-brainer. If you haven't heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, allow us to introduce you to your n...
Filed by Carol Hartsell  | 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Emy Freeland
And... there.
66 Fans
12:36 PM on 07/28/2011
Okay the Dishonorable mention for crime genre was funny. For the most obscure of dental knowledge that was a definite win.
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CSNC
Living on the edge -- not taking too much space
1325 Fans
10:50 AM on 07/28/2011
Question: Isn't number 8 about prostitution?

H
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Mavara
1 Fans
10:15 AM on 07/28/2011
Very adjective.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tanya11111
appraiser of folly
1921 Fans
07:13 AM on 07/28/2011
What no bret easton ellis?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
couer
70 Fans
10:12 PM on 07/27/2011
I am just curious as to why you would not post my comment? There was nothing wrong with it.
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Carolyn Gordon
6 Fans
08:17 PM on 07/27/2011
This is my favorite! I've read tons of romance, but have never encountered anything so........poultrish.
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
1542 Fans
03:11 PM on 07/27/2011
How about this:

As the storm raged outside, we were trapped in the castle with Tina, whose happy-go-lucky attitude made me think that someone had taken "I Dream of Jeannie" and mixed it with "The Shining".
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