'Tales From My Parents' Divorce': 'Contested Objects' On Display

If you are a child of divorce or have gone through a split yourself, more likely than not you understand the significance of those "special" objects--whether family heirlooms or dollar-store trinkets--that neither spouse can bear to part with, even if the marriage itself has long since ended.

Jennifer Morris, a member of New York-based theater company The Civilians, has lots of experience with these "contested objects," as she calls them. Or, more specifically, one "contested object" in particular--a Tiffany Lamp her parents are still fighting over 20 years after their divorce.

Last year, Morris approached three fellow members of the company, Matthew Maher, Caitlin Miller, and Robbie Collier Sublet, all children of divorce, to collaborate on a play about the evolution of their parents' marriages--from falling in love to falling out of love, and finally divorcing. The result is "You Better Sit Down: Tales From My Parents' Divorce," which is constructed around a series of candid interviews each actor conducted with his or her parent--whom each also plays in the show. It runs August 16-21 at Massachusetts' Williamstown Theater Festival.

To get the word out about the show and provide a forum for discussion, The Civilians launched a series of webisodes featuring scenes from the production.

Below, we invite you to continue the conversation. The images have been culled both from the actors in the play itself and from followers of the show who responded to the call by The Civilians for people to send images of their own "contested objects," as well as those of their parents. (Note: in instances where the actual objects were not available, photos of similar objects were submitted.)

Click through the slides below and tell us if you fought over any objects in your split by adding a slide to the mix!

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Hair Dryer

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"He didn't want anything. He just wanted to walk away. He wanted no monument to the relationship. Oh, he did take a hair dryer. Jerk...He left me that weekend with 4 kids and no hairdryer!" --Mary Anne, ex-wife, Chicago, IL. Divorced in 1978 after 16 years of marriage.

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"He didn't want anything. He just wanted to walk away. He wanted no monument to the relationship. Oh, he did take a hair dryer. Jerk...He left me that weekend with 4 kids and no hairdryer!"

--Mary Anne, ex-wife, Chicago, IL. Divorced in 1978 after 16 years of marriage.

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Trivial Worth Fighting For

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Comments

[knowcomment]

04:26 PM on 08/19/2011

After ten years, I left with what I could carry in two hands. Stuff is just stuff. Small price to pay to get away from the madness and incessant babble.

[J R M]

03:53 PM on 08/19/2011

Pretty simple.

Assigned a current market value to everything (except the kids). Kids related stuff was assigned to them.

Then assign items to individuals. She was the musician. She got the baby concert grand. I got my tools, books, and camping supplies. She got her literature. We split the CD's. She got the household and child-related stuff. We split cars.

She got the kids. I got their college bills.

[mary57]

03:43 PM on 08/19/2011

My parents got divorced when I was 5. The divorce would have been incredibly simple, because as they were divorcing they were gradually realizing that they were really not for each other. The only thing that complicated the divorce was their child: Me. They both did separate the objects easily and were glad to be done with each other but I was the one tie that forced them together for life. Any custody battle is exactly that: a battle, a lot of arguing and trying to convince me that they were the better choice for me to spend more time with. By the time the custody battle was over, both my parents had found their new spouses and were engaged, so it was a pretty long process that only got more complicated as more adults got involved and wanted to have me to “complete” their new family. I grew up surrounded by so much love, but at times I remember feeling like an item that my parents were arguing. Though, I was five, so I’m not sure I really had an opinion either way. In the end, I ended up in the custody of my mother. Even to this day I still feel like my parents’ battle continues; that my opinion of who I want to be with or where I want to be (they live on opposite coasts) matters less than the argument that is ongoing between the two.

[laurawp]

11:04 PM on 08/18/2011

My ex and I had an estate worth about $1.5 mil to separate and the biggest fights were over a screwdriver and a vacuum cleaner, LOL.

[Pippen]

01:18 PM on 08/18/2011

Most of the clothes on my back, some personal photos I left the rest for her which she attempted to argue about. Yes you heard me correctly.

I came back to "my" apartment after calling her and saying I was pick up my clothes and my photo album, she flew off the hande and insisted I was not to enter the apartment. I said, " it's my apartment and all I want or intend to pickup are the clothes and album".

When I arrived on scene a maintenance man was hammering away at my door (heavy security which I installed). I asked him what the hell was he doing? He mumbled and said I needed to go to the office. I appeared in the office and stated I was here to pickup some clothes and a photo album. The females in the office were aghast and exclaimed, "you cant go in" your wife doesn't want you in the apartment!! Thats odd since it's MY apartment, if you'd check the ONLY name on the lease you'd see that. Now do I need to call a Sheriff or can I retrieve my things?

I hopped over the porch fence slid the glass door off the hinges and took some of my clothes and my album and laughed at the maintenance man as I left

[1 percent]

04:14 AM on 08/18/2011

Godfather DVD collection

Went like this:

Me: Honey Im back from Iraq!

Wife: Im a lesbian now this is my new lover im leaving you.

Me: Thats cool lets splits things evenly. You take the good car the furniture and ill take the rest.

Wife: You cant have the Godfather *slams door and leaves home*

Me: *spends 3 days destroying everything in the house with a hammer*

Judge: You now lose your home to her all your possessions and because you wore a polyester leisure suit to court im giving her your bank account too. now leave town.

[iluvto]

10:39 PM on 08/17/2011

I knew it was not worth fighting over material things with him. I demanded those personal items I possessed prior to our marriage. And I asked for the "good car", and was more than willing to give up any claim to his pension and 401(k) to get it. He thrives on conflict and arguing and I just wanted out. So I succeeded in disengaging as much as possible while depriving him of the opportunity to incessantly fight. Besides, I love that he was stuck with either selling, moving or storing all the furniture and the washer/dryer when he ended up moving back in with his parents.

[orbs]

09:34 PM on 08/17/2011

Fight over? lol....

"Fine, take it. Here, I'll even carry it out for you...just get out already"

[Joshua Porrata]

08:57 PM on 08/17/2011

The bed, she had the movers in the apartment and told them to take the bed to which I said hell no. She then grabbed the internet router and said she would take this instead. I told her it belonged to brighthouse and not me and plopped myself onto the bed. the router became a mace and I took it in the eye.

[rugbymom]

08:47 PM on 08/17/2011

Our major argument was that I really wanted him to clean all his junk out of the garage, and he kept not getting around to it. There were piles of stuff I had no idea what it was or why he had it -- I think he and the dog brought things home from their walks on trash night. He would come by and take a couple of small things, and then a few weeks later a couple more, and I wanted it all out of there immediately. After 5 years when I was selling the house I put the rest out at a yard sale, and he came by and wanted his stuff, which I was glad to have him take.

[Justtheobvious]

08:08 PM on 08/17/2011

A pre-nup that states you will never get legally married.....

[KIVPossum]

07:20 PM on 08/17/2011

We had an agreeable division of property. I regained my self-respect and dignity, she got everything else

[4evryoung]

06:50 PM on 08/17/2011

All I'd want are my antiques(he thinks their junk) and my dogs. As long as I get financial compensation for my half of the rest, he can have it. He can even take the kids. Mind you they are 33 and 26 but their all his!

*for those who have troubling sarcasm, consider "sarcasm - ON.

[FragBunnie]

06:02 PM on 08/17/2011

$1,100? that's not an expensive bike...

[4evryoung]

06:46 PM on 08/17/2011

It was when he didn't use it.

[SparkyGump]

05:52 PM on 08/17/2011

When my first marriage ended, she wanted to fight about everything. I told her I was taking the TV and the dog. She could keep the rest. I think I came out ahead.

[blizzard man robot voice]

06:04 PM on 08/17/2011

FTW.