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Grandparents Play A Bigger Role In Child-Rearing

HOPE YEN   08/25/11 10:17 PM ET   AP

Grandparents

WASHINGTON — America is swiftly becoming a granny state. Less frail and more involved, today's grandparents are shunning retirement homes and stepping in more than ever to raise grandchildren while young adults struggle in the poor economy.

The newer grandparents are mainly baby boomers who are still working, with greater disposable income. Now making up 1 in 4 adults, grandparents are growing at twice the rate of the overall population and sticking close to family – if their grandkids aren't already living with them.

Grandparents in recent decades have often filled in for absent parents who were ill or battled addiction, or were sent to prison. The latest trend of grandparent involvement, reflected in census figures released Thursday, is now being driven also by the economy and the graying U.S. population, including the 78 million boomers born between 1946 and 1964 who began turning 65 this year.

"We help out in terms of running errands, babysitting, taking the grandkids to doctors' appointments, and for back-to-school shopping," said Doug Flockhart of Exeter, N.H., listing some of the activities that he and his wife, Eileen, do for their five kids and seven grandchildren. But that's just the start.

They also pitch in with health care payments for family members due to insurance gaps, and their pace of activity has picked up substantially since their daughter, who lives three blocks away, gave birth to her first child this month. Flockhart, a retired architect, likes the family time even if he and his wife worry about their grandkids' futures. Their oldest grandchild is 16.

"It's not so much the day in and day out, it's the big picture as to how these young kids will grow up and pay for a college education and buy a house," he said. "The middle class is so much less well-off than it used to be. We've put aside some savings for them, but with seven grandchildren it can only go so far."

Flockhart's situation is increasingly common, demographers say.

"Grandparents have become the family safety net, and I don't see that changing any time soon," said Amy Goyer, a family expert at AARP. "While they will continue to enjoy their traditional roles, including spending on gifts for grandchildren, I see them increasingly paying for the extras that parents are struggling to keep up with – sports, camps, tutoring or other educational needs, such as music lessons."

The latest numbers are based partly on separate analyses by Goyer and Peter Francese, founder of American Demographics magazine who is now a population analyst for the MetLife Mature Market Institute. Their data were supplemented with the latest 2010 census figures as well as interviews with Census Bureau and other experts.

Currently about 5.8 million children, or nearly 8 percent of all children, are living with grandparents identified as the head of household, according to 50-state census data released Thursday. That's up from 4.5 million, or 6.3 percent, who lived in such households in 2000.

Much of the increase in grandparent caregivers occurred later in the decade after the recession eliminated jobs for many younger people, surveys indicate. The 8 percent share of children now living with grandparents is the largest in at least 40 years – and it is believed to be the largest share ever, the population experts say.

In all, there are 62.8 million grandparents in the U.S., the most ever. They are projected to make up roughly 1 in 3 adults by 2020.

Nearly half the states had increases of 40 percent or more over the last decade in the number of grandchildren living with grandparents. They were led by states such as Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Arizona and Kentucky, which had influxes of young families or suffered higher rates of poverty.

On the other end of the scale, New Jersey, New York, Michigan and Louisiana saw the smallest increases, less than 10 percent. Each of those states saw slower population growth overall since 2000, particularly among young people.

The District of Columbia posted a decline of more than 20 percent in grandchildren living with grandparents, a sign of growing gentrification in the nation's capital in which smaller-sized white families are replacing black families with grandparent caregivers, who are moving to suburban areas.

Francese says the stereotype of grandparents who are frail, receding and dependent is changing. He noted that unemployment among workers ages 25 to 34 last year was double that of Americans aged 55 to 64. U.S. households headed by baby boomers also commanded almost half of the nation's total household income, and are more likely to be college graduates than grandparents in previous generations.

These grandparents reject living in senior communities in favor of "aging in place" in their own homes, near family. In 2009, households ages 55 or older spent billions of dollars on infant food, clothes, toys, games, tuition and supplies for grandchildren, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

"Grandparents are supposed to be old, gray-haired people tottering around, but the vast majority are actually in the work force," said Francese, who released a paper on the topic last month. "There is not much doubt that the recent recession has brought grandparents and grandchildren together."

The government figures come as a congressional supercommittee considers possible reductions to Medicare and Social Security to achieve $1.5 trillion in federal spending cuts under the terms of the debt ceiling agreement. Up until now, lawmakers' proposals to cut the entitlement programs have met resistance from older Americans, including those 45 and older, who now make up a majority of the voting-age population.

The committee must issue its recommendations by late November, with action by Congress before year's end, or various parts of government will face automatic spending cuts.

Estella Hyde, 65, who lives near Erie, Pa., said additional government aid – not spending cuts – would go a long way for grandparents. She and her husband have raised their granddaughter, now 18, off and on since she was a year old, when Hyde's daughter-in-law at the time said she didn't want the burden.

Eventually the Hydes were able to adopt their granddaughter legally, which allowed her to have coverage under their health plan, but only after the couple fought through red tape and paid $10,000 in adoption fees. After a difficult childhood, her granddaughter will attend college this fall.

"It never happens in a happy situation where a son or daughter comes and says, `I need you to raise a child for me,'" said Hyde, a nursing professor who is now retired. "We were very lucky, we were able to financially take care of her and support her. But many grandparent caregivers need other sources of assistance."

In all, the states with the highest shares of children living in households headed by grandparents are in the South and West. They include Hawaii, Mississippi, Louisiana, New Mexico, South Carolina and Texas, each with at least 1 in 10 children living in grandparent households.

Among the states with high concentrations of grandparents overall – regardless of their living arrangement – are Maine, West Virginia, Florida, Pennsylvania, Iowa and New Hampshire, according to some estimates.

___

Online:

http://www.census.gov

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WASHINGTON — America is swiftly becoming a granny state. Less frail and more involved, today's grandparents are shunning retirement homes and stepping in more than ever to raise grandchildren wh...
WASHINGTON — America is swiftly becoming a granny state. Less frail and more involved, today's grandparents are shunning retirement homes and stepping in more than ever to raise grandchildren wh...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sunnybunny
08:06 AM on 09/03/2011
Being a regular babysitter and/or taking the kids for the weekend is not the same as raising them. If my grandaughter lived near me, I would love to have the opportunity to be able to spend a lot of time with her and to give my daughter a much needed break. I do however sincerely believe that if you raise your children to be responsible you won't be raising your grandchildren. Don't complain you have irresponsible children after you raised them that way.
04:03 PM on 08/31/2011
I see a lot of entitlement on the part of my friends and colleagues that are young parents, assuming that the grandparents will help pay for day care, basketball camp, etc. One of my girlfriends had an expectation that the grandparents would care for the child several days a week while her and her husband worked. She was angry when the GP's declined her proposal, saying that they valued their free time in retirement and that child care was indeed her responsibility to figure out.

I think it's great if grandparents WANT to be involved in their grandchildren's lives to a large extent. My problem is when it is taken as a given that they will, or end up so as a presult of the parents' irresponsibility/selfishness.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
motoGpifupleez
watching with amusement
10:53 PM on 08/30/2011
Grandparents have always played a critical role in families. The difference now is that many "parents" see the situation as an opportunity to continue their own "fun time" instead of having the grandparent as an extension and stabilizing element.
02:13 PM on 08/30/2011
It can have several benefits but parents need to (1) Not use it as an easy excuse to pursue recreational activities without their children and (2) Not expect that the grandparents have an obligation in this matter. I know of one case where, when the still working grandparents would not sacrifice one of their needed jobs to watch the grand child for free 12 hours a day, the parents withheld them seeing the grandchild. The bottom line is parents should be appreciative if the grand parents can help but understand that the grand parents have no obligation to do so, especially at cost to themselves or their retirement dreams.
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madeye1
I cahoot with no one.
10:51 PM on 08/27/2011
A lot of grandparents where we live are raising their grandchildren because their children are out living it up and can't be bothered to raise their own kid. The GP's take over because somebody has to do it and they can't stand to see their grandchild neglected. The problem is when you're in you're 60's you get tired and either become too strict or (more often) too permissive with the grandchildren.
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stape45
Spin this!
03:27 PM on 08/28/2011
Or so stressed-out that it would be an unwise health risk to continue for prolonged periods. It often means running the risk of depriving them all of your presence, for the sake of one or two.
09:42 PM on 08/27/2011
I do agree that this trend is better for many families, I see it as a downfall for some. I think depending on your relationship with your family it may not be the best choice. I have lived with my grandparents and my parents under the same roof now for 19 years, and while I did enjoy my childhood and the many wonderful opportunities that came with living in the same house as my grandparents there were many flaws to having everyone living together. There was much fighting from how should my brother and I be raised to guilt trips. While I do sincerely love and cherish my grandparents, I don't appreciate the fact that they didn't want my mother to leave nor even find a proper home for my brother and I to live in. They just kept my mother here because they needed help paying for their own house. Also the sad part is my mom got wrapped up into taking care of my grandmother that she ignored my brother and I. In a sense, my grandmother was above us.

I do believe that in these harsh economical times that families need to be brought closer, but there needs to be a defined line that shouldn't be crossed. I would hate to see other children who may have grandparents with similar mindsets like mine have to go through the hardships I had to endure living with them for years. I hope that other families respect boundaries unlike mine.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bmitche
07:41 PM on 08/27/2011
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS, SOME GOOD GRANDPARENTS !!!!!!
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madeye1
I cahoot with no one.
10:40 PM on 08/27/2011
Begging your pardon, but I believe this country needs good parents worse than it needs good grandparents: )
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
knightie2008
07:39 PM on 08/27/2011
In 1962, when I was born, my mother divorced my alcoholic father and struggled with me to make ends meet by working three jobs and having me at a babysitter all the time. My maternal grandmother stepped in and I stayed with her, for what was to be just a short period of time. I was with her until I graduated high school and she helped me through college. My mother wasn't a bum, she worked very hard, but she couldn't make ends meet. My grandmother was able to give me the time and support that I needed as I grew up. Fastforward to 2007, my husband's oldest daughter (who does have some personal problems of her own) announced that she was pregnant and giving the child up for adoption (she has one daughter who is now 6). We could not imagine wondering what happened to one of our grandchildren, and so when the little girl was born we wound up with her. She has been with us since she was 1 day old. Our daughter is only marginally involved with her, and we care for our granddaughter entirely on our own. We get no state help and no support from the mother. Would we have it any other way? Certainly not! If we have to adjust our "golden" years to accomodate her (as my grandmother did with me) than so be it. I look forward to watching her grow every day!
08:33 PM on 08/27/2011
i agree with you. i had my daughter young (20) after i finished college and my mom and grandma helped me take care of her until i got a good paying job out of state. now i'm 24 and my daughter stays with me and i'm grateful that i have family that i can trust until i could get on my feet. i would do the same for my child.
09:35 PM on 08/27/2011
You're a good person.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bmitche
07:34 PM on 08/27/2011
I think this is a good trend. Kids need grandparents in their lives.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
stephendelong1
Author of; Hells Angels Part One
06:49 PM on 08/27/2011
This makes sense, they screwed up their kids so now they are going to fix their mistakes through their grandchildren.
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Justmetootles
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no........
07:04 PM on 08/27/2011
Your post makes no sense at all. There are a lot of different reasons now that grandparents are raising their grandchildren. Not to mention that you can do the best you can raising your children and that's not going to guarantee that they will become model citizens. There were 5 children in our household and we were all treated the same. Two of them are substance abusers and general all around losers. My father felt like he had failed them. I disagree and told him "Dad, you gave us all the same tools to learn with, it is in no way your fault". It's called taking responsibility for your own actions.
02:32 PM on 08/27/2011
grandparents r saving kids from parent abuse and ruination..............
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JLeamer
Leamer is a former journalist/broadcaster statione
02:23 PM on 08/27/2011
Used to be that the 'nuclear family' contained grandparents who were taken care of...we're obviously getting back to the concept of a nuclear family but with a slightly different 'twist' than sociologists like Alvin Toffler predicted...
01:48 PM on 08/27/2011
America is one of the only cultures where heavy grandparent involvement isn't a phenomenon. There is truth in the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" and MORE families (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents) SHOULD be working together to raise children!!
05:57 PM on 08/27/2011
I completely agree. We've moved too far away from the idea of families living close to each other and raising children together. Too often it's a mom and a dad (with a near 50% chance of getting a divorce) with several kids living days away from the nearest family members. Even when the parents stay together, it is so difficult. Plus, more relatives raising them is more adult influences than just the 1 or 2. I am glad grandparents are helping to raise the kids now.
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madeye1
I cahoot with no one.
10:56 PM on 08/27/2011
The stress of not having someone you trust to take care of the kids occasionally could contribute to the divorce percentages. Sometimes just getting a break from the madness (I raised three kids, yes, madness: ) can really help your relationship.
01:45 PM on 08/27/2011
Most kids raised by two parents are lucky and kids raise by one kind and loving parent and a set of grandparents of the same are even luckier.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bmitche
07:36 PM on 08/27/2011
I agree with you !!!
11:39 AM on 08/27/2011
I am offended that the accompanying photo shows a black grandfather and a young, black granddaughter. Is that implying that black parents are usually absent because black fathers are out gambling, drinking, and being put in prison so they can't care for their illegitimate kids? Or that black mothers are incapable of caring for their babies? The black family needs help but not criticism. Also, is the photo implying that old black men are creepy around kids? I am outraged!
11:55 AM on 08/27/2011
Get a grip, statistics do not lie.
01:59 PM on 08/27/2011
Excuse me! The article didnt say anything whtsoever bout any color of a grandparent,why does everything thts printed truthfully have 2 always be about race? Now about the article;i as a grandmother thts raising a grandchild due 2 uncomtrollable circumstances,god has place this child in my life 4 a reason,everything happens for a reason and most times in situations like this we only look at the negative side.but like 1 said yes my granddaughter is a GOD SENT b/c God himself knew tht i would have give up on life(b/c of health problems)the same year she had 2 come and kive w/me,she is now 6yrs.old and i got her when she was 13mnths old,yes it has been hard b/c i dnt&wnt accept resources frm the county r state b/c if us as grandparents couldnt raise them on our own finances then we shouldnt hav took them n the 1st place,b/c if they r goin 2 b raised off welfare then why cnt the parents themselves get the resouses&raise them like they should?now this remark doesnt apply 2 situations diffrent frm mine.BUT as stated b4 this doesnt hav anythimng at all 2 do w/the color,sex r relgion of a child r the granparents,why do pple alwaz think ther being targeted/? could it be conscience??? GOD BLESS THE U.S.A. thank you