After making a very surprise appearance as Jo Calderone, the slicked-back greaser, at Sunday's VMAs, Gaga had a few questions to answer.
But she was nowhere to be found.
Similarly to when she was questioned about her "bones" while promoting "Born this Way," Gaga was in full character, responding only to questions directed to Calderone.
And it turns out, he's a bit of a potty mouth.
When she appeared in the VMA press room, the gent explained (kind of) why he showed up instead of the Lady.
"She's just really f-ing pissed at me right now and she said, 'F- you. If you really love me, you'll go instead of me, and you'll get in that spotlight.' So I did."
Calderone went on to tell a little bit about himself. "I'm from Jersey. My family is from Palermo, Sicily, and I'm not a singer or a model or an actor or anything."
Then, someone suggested Mr. Calderone was a "guido," which caused him to lose his seemingly impenetrable cool.
"No, I'm not a f-ing guido! You don't like Italians? What the f-- is the matter with you?"
The press scrambled to find a subject to take his mind far away from the racial epithet--and that was Britney Spears.
When they asked if there was any possibility the two would get together, Calderone was noncommittal and responded as any gentleman would.
"She's f-ing hot. I don't know. You know, Gaga is my girl, but Britney is f-ing Britney Spears. Didn't you jerk off to Britney when you were a kid?"