09/28/2011 02:00 pm ET | Updated Nov 28, 2011

The Zen Of Sarcasm, Part 1

A friend email this list to me this morning. I loved them all! –MT

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone".

"Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it."

"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you."

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