Paula Deen Named Hottest Female TV Chef By 'Maxim'
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Rachael Ray was once on the cover of FHM magazine. The Google query "in love with giada de laurentiis" has 2.7 million hits. Suzanne Pirret inspired Heston Blumenthal to leave his wife of 22 years to be with her. Padma Lakshmi gets an 86/100 in sexiness from AskMen.com.
But according to Maxim magazine, none of these women is the hottest female TV chef in the world. The actual winner? Paula Deen.
That's right: a diminutive, zaftig, grey-haired Southern doyenne beat out dozens of younger, more conventionally attractive rivals. Maxim explains that "imagining the slippery, sloppy butter-sex we'd have with Paula makes us...hungry for a bacon-wrapped, beer batter-fried stick of butter, weirdly." And we can't help but think that part of her appeal has to do with her reputation for danger.
If you're still unconvinced of Paula's allure, check out the following video slideshow, in which we've compiled seven of Deen's all-time most decadent recipes. We don't care about sexual orientation -- if you aren't a little turned on by the top couple on this list, you should get yourself checked out by a medical doctor immediately.
7. Ribs Casserole
This recipe starts, as all good Paula recipes do, "with a lil' butter," which translates, naturally, into an entire saucepan full.
6. Red Velvet Cake
A classic Southern dessert from the classic Southern chef.
5. Creamed Corn
The operative word in the title here is "creamed."
4. Peanut Butter Fudge
Many Paula Deen recipe titles combine a great noun with a decadent adjective. This one gloriously bucks that grammatical trend and instead combines two decadent nouns, to awesome, sexy effect.
3. Hot Artichoke-Spinach Dish
This dish nominally contains vegetables, so it's not an obvious pick for the third Deen-style sexiest dish. But it illustrates a central rule of Paula's home cooking: when in doubt, use the whole package. Also, having made this recipe before, we can attest to the fact that it is 100% decadent.
2. Fried Stuffing on a Stick
Fried. Stuffing. On. A. Stick. WTF.
If you know what a turducken is, you know that nothing in the world could possibly be more quintessentially Paula Deen. If you don't know what a turducken is, you should know that nothing in the world could possibly be more important for your life than watching this video immediately.