Paula Deen Named Hottest Female TV Chef By 'Maxim'

Rachael Ray was once on the cover of FHM magazine. The Google query "in love with giada de laurentiis" has 2.7 million hits. Suzanne Pirret inspired Heston Blumenthal to leave his wife of 22 years to be with her. Padma Lakshmi gets an 86/100 in sexiness from AskMen.com.

But according to Maxim magazine, none of these women is the hottest female TV chef in the world. The actual winner? Paula Deen.

That's right: a diminutive, zaftig, grey-haired Southern doyenne beat out dozens of younger, more conventionally attractive rivals. Maxim explains that "imagining the slippery, sloppy butter-sex we'd have with Paula makes us...hungry for a bacon-wrapped, beer batter-fried stick of butter, weirdly." And we can't help but think that part of her appeal has to do with her reputation for danger.

Two and three on the Maxim list were Lakshmi and de Laurentiis, respectively. After them came lesser-known cooks Aida Mollenkamp of the Food Network and Eden Grinshpan of the Cooking Channel.

If you're still unconvinced of Paula's allure, check out the following video slideshow, in which we've compiled seven of Deen's all-time most decadent recipes. We don't care about sexual orientation -- if you aren't a little turned on by the top couple on this list, you should get yourself checked out by a medical doctor immediately.

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• 7. Ribs Casserole

  This recipe starts, as all good Paula recipes do, "with a lil' butter," which translates, naturally, into an entire saucepan full.

• 6. Red Velvet Cake

  A classic Southern dessert from the classic Southern chef.

• 5. Creamed Corn

  The operative word in the title here is "creamed."

• 4. Peanut Butter Fudge

  Many Paula Deen recipe titles combine a great noun with a decadent adjective. This one gloriously bucks that grammatical trend and instead combines two decadent nouns, to awesome, sexy effect.

• 3. Hot Artichoke-Spinach Dish

  This dish nominally contains vegetables, so it's not an obvious pick for the third Deen-style sexiest dish. But it illustrates a central rule of Paula's home cooking: when in doubt, use the whole package. Also, having made this recipe before, we can attest to the fact that it is 100% decadent.

• 2. Fried Stuffing on a Stick

  Fried. Stuffing. On. A. Stick. WTF.

• 1. Turducken

  If you know what a turducken is, you know that nothing in the world could possibly be more quintessentially Paula Deen. If you don't know what a turducken is, you should know that nothing in the world could possibly be more important for your life than watching this video immediately.

Comments

[ILWWBTS]

01:19 PM on 11/15/2011

Whoever at maxim that came to the conclusion that paula deen is the hottest must have been high! No-one on foodnetwork has a higher, or, hotter heat index than Giada D! No-one! She scores a 99 out of a 100, only minus being no booty. Elie Krieger comes in a close second!

[Phlan]

12:39 AM on 12/06/2011

Paula got the cover because she does squirt shows during the late night time slot.

[ILWWBTS]

01:12 PM on 11/15/2011

Whoever at maxim that came to this conclusion must have been high! paula deen might have won this thirty five years ago, but not today! No-0ne has a higher heat index than Giada D! She scores 99 out of a 100! Only minus being no booty!, Everything else is good to go! Elie krieger scorces a close second.

[ohiopositive]

06:12 PM on 11/14/2011

please...she seems like a nice lady but Giada is so freaking sexy

[cashaww]

08:14 AM on 10/21/2011

I will take Rachael Ray over them all. It is obvious why, turn her around and see what is following her.

[ILWWBTS]

01:36 PM on 11/15/2011

When did you ever see whats behind her, she seems very reluctant to show that booty! Also, shes flat chested, real, but flat.

[Phlan]

12:40 AM on 12/06/2011

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dH0WWwrZUP4/Sl95nPA2tcI/AAAAAAAABhA/d6Cf_TmKS30/s400/Rachel_Ray.jpg

[CommonCents23]

05:26 PM on 10/20/2011

You've got to be kidding......

Giada should win.....she was handling a tube steak once.....man I've never wanted to be a piece of meat so bad in my life.

[raffie]

05:22 PM on 10/20/2011

Paula would rock anyone's world in the boudoir...that saucy southern personality, translates to a wild babe between the sheets. Call me Paula, for a toss, anytime!

[Republitarian]

04:52 PM on 10/20/2011

A woman who makes Hillary Clinton look hot wins this award?

[mrsentinel]

06:00 PM on 10/19/2011

Nigella Lawson or Ellie Krieger. Yum.

[homersclone666]

12:15 PM on 10/19/2011

i would rather have sex with a pound of butter.

[MauricioC]

10:41 PM on 10/16/2011

Do you get a Lipitor with that?

[Montag11]

10:34 AM on 10/16/2011

Another pirouette in the death-spiral of American popular cuisine. Deen's wheezing, gas-rattle laugh, multiple chins, and nauseating faux southern accent are sexy? Oh and the food, the food...wheel barrows of butter and sugar, canned soup, and saltine crackers churned into tired, predictable stereotypes best suited for a Southern Women's Club pot-luck.

My choice, De Laurentiis. She knows how to cook, her food looks and tastes like it was prepared by a professional, she's devoid of ingratiating gimmickry, and she's very sexy.

[raffie]

05:26 PM on 10/20/2011

_no contest, Paiula will put out more, making up for any physical deficiency___between Giada and her ego, forget the bed, maybe no room for you in the bedroom at all.

[gena cunningham]

12:06 PM on 10/21/2011

Any room not taken up by her ego would go to her giant bobble-head.

[cgjmd]

09:05 PM on 10/14/2011

Let's try this again...
First Paula deene as sex would be like having a pinup on the wall of your mother even if she was a beauty queen...and Paula ain't!!!
As for her or Racheal Ray, I don't care for either as they both sponsor their line of cooking stuff MADE IN CHINA. It seems that the american public has made them and continues to make them and they can't fing an american company's product to endorse and put Americans back to work to buy their stuff! Soon they'll find americans will be too broke to buy their stuff. Guess they can then move to China, live as heros of those countries for making their economies so good.
and last...Nigella is all woman, hot as hell and definitely not a stick figure model!

[itzy8940]

12:00 PM on 10/13/2011

I *heart* Paula

[oneeasyrider]

03:28 AM on 10/13/2011

Can't get into Paula's show or her cooking style. If I want unhealthy food it would be Ina Garten, who by the way, was beautiful when she was young.

[Sillypaws]

03:40 PM on 10/15/2011

Agree with you and she shares her knowledge as well which you don't get with Paula

[Justin Levine]

07:42 PM on 10/12/2011

Haha, oh Maxim, you funny.

Actually, I will say this: have you ever watched an episode of Paula's Best on Food Network, but not actually watched? If you just listen to the audio of most episodes, especially the ones where her son(s) are on with her, your mind starts to play some pretty interesting scenarios with the dialogue. My girlfriend and I crack up at this all the time - we have a lot of time on our hands, apparently. :)