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Randy Fenoli: 'Say Yes To The Dress' Star At Brides Magazine White-Hot Hope Style Shop

Randyfenoli

Huffington Post   First Posted: 10/16/11 12:33 PM ET Updated: 12/16/11 05:12 AM ET

If you've ever watched TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress," you know that Randy Fenoli, the lithe, ever-charming fashion director of Manhattan's Kleinfeld Bridal salon and the show's unofficial star, is many things to many brides, from fashion expert to therapist to family mediator. But just don't call him a dress salesman.

"I don't sell dresses. I dress brides," he told Huffington Post Weddings during a recent stop at the Brides magazine White Hot Hope Pop Up Style Shop in New York's SoHo neighborhood.

Fenoli was at the airy loft space -- a temporary showcase for local wedding vendors of all stripes (florists! dress designers! registries!) curated by the editors of "Brides" magazine with proceeds going to the charities Operation Smile and Dress for Success -- to sign copies of his new book, "It's All About the Dress: Savvy Secrets, Priceless Advice, and Inspiring Stories to Help you Find 'The One.'" We sat down with Fenoli to get his insights on everything from how shopping for a wedding dress is like visiting a foreign country, whether there are any rules for the color of your dress on your second (or third, or fourth) wedding, and yes, why "selling dresses" isn't in his job description.

HuffPost Weddings: At Huffington Post Weddings, we see a lot of brides and grooms expressing themselves--their personalities, tastes, beliefs--through their nuptials these days. Do you see this trend manifesting in wedding dresses?

Randy Fenoli: "Absolutely. In the beginning, there was a definite style that was 'Bridal.' It was the traditional bridal gown. But I really think that the trend today is the bride and groom being unique. I think two things have happened: a relaxation in the religious aspects of the ceremony and a movement toward girls getting information--especially fashion information--a lot more quickly in the technology age we're in. I think the white and the veil is the connecting factor, but I think that the dress really needs to speak to who they are. I see brides coming in and saying 'I don't wanna look like everyone else.' That's what everyone says. So I do see that as a trend and I think it's only gonna get stronger."

HPW: What's the final word on wearing white if it's not your first wedding?

RF: "White used to be a symbol for purity. But I think we can all get with reality today and realize that it's not anymore. Let's be real! Maybe you've been married before. Maybe this is your third or fourth wedding. It should be no less important than your first wedding. I'm a traditionalist, so I love a woman to wear white on her wedding day. In my book I say there's no rule that a woman cannot wear white on her wedding day no matter how many times she has been married before.

HPW: Shopping for a bridal gown can be daunting. Any advice for getting through the appointment?

RF: "Purchasing a wedding dress is a little like visiting a foreign country for two weeks--you don't have to learn the whole language. You just have to learn enough words to get by! So you need to know just enough language about bridal gowns to get through the appointment. I've seen books where there's, like, 3 dozen types of bodices. How many bodices do you really need? That's not gonna get you any closer to finding the perfect dress. In my book, I've really paired it down for brides--I've given them just the right amount of information they need to get through the bridal appointment to find "The One."

HPW: Shopping for a dress can be a challenge if you're not a size 6 or 8; any advice for fuller-figured women?

RF: "In my book I have real brides in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s from size 2 to size 24--because I think all women are beautiful, especially on their wedding day, and I wanted to put a book together that did not showcase models. In most bridal salons, women with fuller figures really are not treated equally with girls who are sample size."

HPW: So why put these women in a separate show alltogether--TLC's spinoff show "Say Yes to The Dress: Big Bliss"?

RF: "Before the show aired, there was this big controversy of 'Why are you separating the plus-sized girls? Why are you promoting obesity?' Well the fact is that these are real women who are this size. Their size has a lot to do with genes. I know because I can't gain a pound and I eat probably more than they do. So I think it's not fair to think that someone who is fuller-figured doesn't want to look just as beautiful as someone who is a sample size. So the fact that bridal salons carry dresses in a sample size 10, which is a 6 or 8, and that a woman who is purchasing the most important dress of her life, and is not even able to try it on is a travesty. So we wanted to highlight that, and the way they are treated in some other salons--where they don't even have anything to try on--I think that's a shame. I'm proud of that show."

HPW: What do you think of the 'trash the dress' trend. Does it break your heart?

RF: "I love wedding dresses and think they're works of art, but I think they're also clothing, and meant to be worn. I viewed a wedding in the Cayman Islands on the beach in an Oscar de la Renta gown. It came time in the ceremony for her to kneel, and she knelt right down in the sand. And I applauded her--like, 'yes! You go girl!'

HPW: Are there some types of brides who are more challenging to work with than others?

RF: Some brides aren't visual. Especially attorneys. People in the medical field. People in accounting and teachers, I find. I can usually look at a girl and talk to her for a moment and say, 'Lemme ask, are you an attorney?' And she turns to me and says, 'How did you know?" And I'm like, 'this is what I do!'

HPW: How do you sell a dress you personally think is ugly?

RF: "I don't sell dresses. I dress brides. What I mean is that you should never have to sell a dress. A bride is walking into your salon to purchase a dress. You have to find the dress that is right with her story, is perfect for her body, that she falls in love with, that she glows in, that really speaks to her. There have been gowns that have come into the salon and I have said 'oh, my gosh, what is this?" And then a girl walks in, and I'm like, "Oh my! That is her dress." She puts it on and it's a perfect match. It completely makes sense for who she is."

The Brides magazine White Hot Hope Pop-Up Style Shop is open until 6 p.m. Sunday Oct. 16.

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If you've ever watched TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress," you know that Randy Fenoli, the lithe, ever-charming fashion director of Manhattan's Kleinfeld Bridal salon and the show's unofficial star, is many...
If you've ever watched TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress," you know that Randy Fenoli, the lithe, ever-charming fashion director of Manhattan's Kleinfeld Bridal salon and the show's unofficial star, is many...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Texplaygrl
11:12 AM on 10/20/2011
I LOVE this show! Randy is a real sweetheart and he knows what he is doing!
I wanted to design wedding dresses when I was a little girl...now I design baby dolls.
06:55 AM on 10/20/2011
30. Back to hors d'oeuvres: Make sure you provide your guests with a station of cheese and crackers/ cut up fresh fruits and vegetables. I know everyone loves raw bars and sushi stations, but they are generally subbed out jobs and very expensive. A good alternative is passing ie shrimp cocktail or something sushi. It is more under control . 8-10 hors d'oeuvre should suffice.
31. If your ceremony is taking place on premise, make sure the facility provides chairs for the ceremony. If you end of renting chairs, be sure to rent ballroom and you generally have a choice of cushion color. Rent white, gold or silver chairs.
32. Make sure there is a separate cocktail room that guests can move into while they reset the ceremont room for dinner. You will avoid double chair rental (instead of the not so nice white wooden folding chairs).
33. Opt for a black and white photographer, as well as color. They are very striking.
Go over the details carefully with the photographer(s) and videographer to make sure they are not intrusive during the event.
34. Hopefully (spelled correctly this time!) all will be a grand success.
06:16 AM on 10/20/2011
22. Back to flowers: Make sure arrangements are above/ below guests eye level. Make it easy for guests to see/ speak to whomever is opposite.
23. Parking: Enclose a card with the nearest garages/ address. Guests will know what to expect.Ask what time the garage stays open until. Don't assume anything.
24. Tipping: Tip the Maitre D' in advance / He/ she will work harder and avoid last minute scurrying . Never give the Matire D' tips for the staff. Delegate someone to tip bartenders etc in advance. The Maitre D' will generally not pass tips along.
25. I know this might sound strange, but it's NY! Don't book a facility too far in advance. Two years is too far away. The location might change hands or go out of business and you'll loose your deposit . I have seen this happen many times.
26. Bathrooms.. it's worth the extra few dollars, but try having a dedicated ladies room and men's room attendant.
27. If you have a winter wedding, always ask how many people will be manning the coatcheck,
Make sure their is no tip jar put out by the checkers. It doesn't fare well with guests. They will graciously tip on their own or you can take care of them in advance. Make sure the same number of coatcheck staff is available upon depature of guests . Facilities love to cut back at the end of a party.
Hopefuly, it's once in a lifetime occassion!!!!
05:47 AM on 10/20/2011
10. Flowers: Ask what flowers are in season. Choosing your favorite can be expensive.
11.Negotiate a separate price for children. They will not be participating in the bar- soft drinks only.
12. Try to do rounds of 8 or 10; tables of 12 make it impossible for guests to converse,
13. Inquire regarding a facilities cut-off time. You'll be surprised- some locations are as early as midnight- it all depends upon community board regulations.

14. Be open minded about a Sunday brunch. They are charming weddings. Generally, it is half the price. Remember, that Sunday's followed by a Monday holiday, is the same price as a Saturday.
15. Ask how many weddings the facility does in a day. The earlier you can arrive and allow your florist and caterer in, the calmer the day will be.
17. Back to hors d'oeuvres: Try to do a stationed cheese and crackers and fresh vegetable table. Limit your passed hors d'oeuvres to between 8-10.
18. Back to Dinner: If you are (discussing ) a seated dinner vs. buffet...compromise. Do a first course seated; followed by a buffet dinner; followed by either plated dessert or dessert table. Dessert tables, along with the cake are always fabulous! Expensive , but worth it.
19. Stay calm- your plans and final guest count will not come together until 5 days before the wedding. So you're not alone! GOOD LUCK!
20. Music: to be determined- lol. an investment / down payment of your future home!
05:03 AM on 10/20/2011
As a wedding ,bar mitavah; corporate party planner in NYC, here are a few tips
1. When you choose the date of your affair, make sure there are no street festivals or fairs that interfer with traffic/parking.
2. When the bride is getting dressed, never serve colorful drinks in the bridal suite (ie blood mary's, red wine or coke) . Only white wine/drinks w/club soda.Always have a bottle of white out on hand. It's a life saver if something spills .
3. Bar: Never serve liquor before the ceremony. It is not always necessary to do a premium bar- it's expensive- beers,wines,sodas and bloody mary's / mimosas suffice. Make sure your facility has a liquor liscence. You do not want to be responsible after guests leave . Ask to be added on as additionally insured for that day.
4. Dinner: On a budget, it's not necessary to give your guests choice of entree. It's expensive. And so is a buffet .You can serve guests a three or four course dinner. Combine chicken with filet mignon.
5. Dessert: Never do whipped cream cake for a summer wedding. Four tiers will be 1 tier in short time Have a sheet cake prepared to serve your guests. Your tiered cake can have artificial tiers, saving you money. Try Venerios Pastry shop on 2nd and 11st St.
6. Enclose in your invitation, the location of parking garages in the neighborhood.
7. Upon depature, give your guests donuts and the Sunday Times.
03:03 AM on 10/20/2011
Teachers are very visual.......I planned and designed my own wedding which to this day people still talk about it because I did one that wasn't typical and was "me." I work with visual media and technology in the classroom. I design and decorate the classroom all the time. Teachers also are required to have good classroom management skills which means you are aware of every single place in the classroom and every single student at all times. We plan lessons and visualize the day before it happens to predict any problem or schedule dilemmas. Teachers are visual and anybody who thinks otherwise doesn't know what he is talking about.
01:32 AM on 10/20/2011
I think Randy does an incredible job, especially with some of the women he has to work with. He's sympathetic and seems very genuine.
Marie Jackie
One Nation Under God
01:15 AM on 10/20/2011
I believe the rule use to be that the Bride wears white if this is the first time the Groom is taking a bride. I still prefer the color white on every young bride, but I did see a woman in her 50's in a white bridal dress and I thought the look was out of place. I have seen lovely white suits which I think are more appropriate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nopinky
12:25 AM on 10/22/2011
White was not worn by brides until Queen Victoria wore it, and it had nothing to do with purity. It was a symbol of wealth and opulence. It was a way of saying (in the days before OxyClean) that the bride's family had enough money to blow on a dress that would, in all likelihood, only be worn once. After that, rich brides did it, then middle-class brides did it, etc. The whole "pure virgin" thing was totally invented after the trend began to gain traction.
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PashaRu
Век живи - век учись.
01:02 AM on 10/20/2011
"I don't sell dresses. I dress brides."

No, you sell dresses.

Car salesman: "I don't sell cars, I ensconce people in automated transports."

Delivery service driver: "I don't deliver packages, I'm a Product Placement Technician."

Grocery store cashier: "I don't sell food, I'm a Nutrition Service Provider."

Light bulb salesman: "I don't sell light bulbs, I eliminate darkness."

Guy sitting at his keyboard typing a comment: "I'm not a blogger, I'm a Worldwide Web Wordsmith."
Marie Jackie
One Nation Under God
01:21 AM on 10/20/2011
PashaRu: Obviously, you have not watched "Say, yes to the dress." You would have agreed 100% that Fenoli dresses the bride.
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PashaRu
Век живи - век учись.
01:14 PM on 10/20/2011
You have no idea how happy I am that I can't agree.
07:08 AM on 10/20/2011
you're fanned. very cute!
10:52 PM on 10/19/2011
Nothing is more ludicrous than seeing a middle-aged woman wearing a bouffant veil and a poufy dress for a second, third, fourth wedding. I was at a wedding just like that a few years back. The "bride" was screaming at the groom, kids were running amok all over the place and the bride was stuffed into a dress more appropriate for a bride thirty years her junior. She was reminiscent of a sausage, and looked like a caricature of a bride. She acted like a harpy instead of a lady.

If you must wear white, wear a coat dress or a suit for a subsequent wedding.
10:42 PM on 10/19/2011
oh my goodness- as a wedding planner in ny of 30+ years, randy is simply a well versed salesperson in the field of wedding gowns. he just loves everything! kleinfeld's bridal salon = macy's.
vera wang= bergdorf goodman. if you truely want to talk about elegance, it's vera wang all the way!
09:51 PM on 10/19/2011
I don't agree with those who are falling all over themselves loving Randy. He horns right in to consultations by one of the women and takes over. He has made MANY remarks to let everyone know that HE, and he alone, knows the entire inventory and will "never NOT find the perfect dress for a bride." Well guess what, Randy. There are some superb consultants at the store who do NOT need you butting in! He is really beyond annoying!!
10:45 PM on 10/19/2011
Perhaps you don't understand what he does. He is the FASHION DIRECTOR. It is HIS job to help the consultants out and offer advice on what might look good on a certain body type. It's not "butting in", it's what they pay him for! Also, his position is above that of a consultant.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Misty Sanchez
12:04 AM on 10/20/2011
And he often does find THE dress that the bride ends up choosing. He's fabulous.
Marie Jackie
One Nation Under God
01:26 AM on 10/20/2011
fluteprincess: Excellent post on explanning what Mr. Fenoli does as the fashion director. I am hooked on this show!
06:50 PM on 10/20/2011
He doesn't "butt in". In the cases of new consultants, he is required by the Mara to check on their appointments. And in the cases of seasoned consultants, they ASK for him to help.
08:04 PM on 10/19/2011
I FREAKING LOVE RANDY.
07:42 PM on 10/19/2011
The average wedding can be a down payment on a home in these trying times. But stupid women spend a fortune and buy into this wedding crap. They will be divorced before the credit card late fees are paid. Its such a scam!!!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Joanna McGinn
09:20 PM on 10/19/2011
OHHHHHH YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! They need to pay attention to the MARRIAGE and not the wedding... that will take care of itself if you really want those who love and support you in the marriage. I planned a wedding for an employee and did it for about $600 and it was charming... granted I made her dress and her maid of honor's dress and the cake but we all had a great time and it was held on a church lawn overlooking Malibu.... best wedding next to my own.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mPowerServices
People are fickle...fanned today, gone 2morrow
09:47 PM on 10/19/2011
I sense some bitterness coming from this post. People can spend their money anyway that they would like....period.
12:23 AM on 10/20/2011
But people are being pressured to make "the perfect day" and spend far beyond their means . The entire bridal industry reminds me of sharks trying to get the biggest bite of their wallets .. I do watch this show and it annoys me a lot when they pull dresses above the budget the bride has for her dress . A professional would also include the veil and any alterations in the dress budget too . Pulling dresses that cost more puts a terrible burden both emotionally and monetarily on the bride and her family .
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
katydid579
AMERICA has spoken! Four more years!!
07:35 PM on 10/19/2011
Many years ago I worked in a bridal shop and actually had a blast there. Most of the girls coming in were excited, fun, and there to BUY. The worst appointments were the ones where the mother was making all the decisions for her daughter (who was not happy about it) and when the bride would bring the whole wedding party. I guess things haven't changed much except for the PRICES!.