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Beyond The Battlefield: Back Home, Severely Wounded Veterans Wish More Would Ask, Not Just Stare

Bobby Henline

First Posted: 10/18/11 09:27 AM ET Updated: 12/18/11 05:12 AM ET

"Beyond The Battlefield" is a 10-part series exploring the challenges that severely wounded veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan face after they return home, as well as what those struggles mean for those close to them. Learn how you can help here. Other stories in the series can be found here. Listen to reporter David Wood discuss "Beyond The Battlefield" with NPR's Terry Gross here.

They are becoming more common, the war's severely wounded. Men and women missing one leg or two, with disfigured bodies, with steel arms and mechanical claws for hands, with burn scars and nubs where their noses and ears once were.

How do they feel about being out and among the rest of us?

How do they bear such visible scars of their military service, among a population of ordinary Americans who not only didn't serve, but widely ignored both the war and the experiences of those who went to fight in their place?

Do they want us to ignore their wounds, avert our eyes? Or do they want us to look more closely? To feel guilty? Or angry?

Just ask.

"I used to look in the mirror at my missing ears, missing nose -- do I really want to go outside today?'' says Shilo Harris, a 10th Mountain Division staff sergeant who was badly injured and burned in an IED explosion in Iraq in 2007. "I was all bent over, crippled up, I felt exposed."

"I didn't want people to be scared of me. So I really appreciate people coming up to me and asking what happened -- and thanking me for my service. I'm proud of my military service -- and my injuries,'' he says.

Some 16,000 young Americans who volunteered to serve in Iraq and Afghanistan have come home with devastating wounds. A lot of them want you to ask about them.

Far from being ashamed of his appearance, Scott Stephenson calls his wounds a badge of honor. He and other combat wounded tend to look at it this way: They volunteered, saw combat, and in many cases sacrificed their mobility, their health, their looks and their innocence.

"It's a sign of what I went through, what I've given up," he says.

It may be difficult for civilians to work up the courage to ask, Stephenson concedes. Still, he says, start the conversation. Acknowledge him.

"For people to ignore me, shun me -- that hurts," he says.

A paratrooper with the 3rd Battalion (Airborne), 509th Infantry, Stephenson deployed to Iraq with the 4th Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division. Near Iskandaria, Scott was severely burned by an IED blast in Iraq in November 2006. Two thirds of his body was charred. His stomach was ripped open, his internal organs riddled with shrapnel. Doctors told his parents he had a 5 percent chance of living. He lost the use of his left arm and eventually had his left leg amputated. His face is severely scarred.

"He looked like something out of a horror film," says his mother, Luana Schneider.

But Stephenson likes being out in public.

"I like to talk to people, give them some insight into what we soldiers do go through, because not a lot of civilians are aware of all the sacrifices we make -- and we choose to do it," Stephenson says. "It's bringing people back to more of a supporting role rather than thinking we are just pawns."

FIRST OUTINGS

About 245 amputees have remained on active duty, according to Chuck Scoville, chief of amputee care services at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. He knows personally of 45 amputees who have returned to serve in Iraq or Afghanistan. Others have retired from the military. Increasingly, to a degree not seen in past generations of the severely wounded, they are out and about in communities, schools, offices and playing fields.

The severely wounded of the Vietnam war, for instance, faced a triple barrier, said Jim Mayer, an infantryman with the 25th Division who lost both legs below the knee to a land mine in Vietnam in 1969. He came out of the hospital in a wheelchair to find a public hostile to Vietnam-era soldiers, public places inaccessible to the disabled -- and a civilian population not used to seeing the disabled and shocked when they did.

"The reactions were a lot more negative because of that mix,'' said Mayer, who has been a patient advocate for amputees at Walter Reed, for the VA and for the Wounded Warrior Project, a nonprofit veterans service organization, for decades.

And today's disabled, particularly the amputees, are not shy about displaying their wounds and their prosthetic legs. Around Walter Reed and other military hospitals, where the wounded were once sequestered in open-bay wards, it's common to see amputees strutting around in their new legs, or even running.

"In my day it was, Hey -- cover up!'' Mayer said. "I never wore shorts, even in hot weather. Today, they are athletes and they are getting back to being athletes. And they dress that way.''

Even if later generations of wounded warriors are more capable and more interested in leading public lives, working up the nerve to step outside is still challenging.

John Roberts was a Marine Corps sergeant who was burned over 80 percent of his body in a 1992 helicopter crash in Somalia, where the Marines and 10th Mountain Division troopers were deployed to protect emergency food shipments against warlords and insurgents who turned out to be al Qaida-inspired fighters.

After a year at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio and 60 surgeries that left his face a mass of scars, he and his wife ventured out to see Steven Seagal in "Under Siege'' -- and he promptly had an anxiety attack. "I was so self-conscious, I felt everybody was staring at me. I was nervous started sweating. I told my wife I had to get out of there.''

But time eases such anxieties. "Now I walk through an airport or any crowded area and I almost walk taller. I am very proud of my injuries," said Roberts, 46, who is a senior executive with the Wounded Warrior Project. Out in public, he says to himself: "You know what? I did this, I served my country, most people staring at me didn't have the guts to do it in the first place and if you're staring at me that's your problem, you need to get over it. I'm here to stay.''

Roberts believes that veterans with disfiguring burns, especially facial burns, have a more difficult time being accepted in public than amputees. The experience of Bobby Henline bears that out.

"I didn't like to go to restaurants at first, afraid I'd ruin peoples' appetites," says Henline, a former staff sergeant in the 82nd Airborne who suffered deep burns to his face, left arm and a hand that was later amputated. His face is a mask of scars and he describes himself as “Freddy Krueger's cousin.”

But as time passed, Henline became less self-conscious about his disfigurement.

"Once I got more healed, even still having scars, I like people to come up to ask. I'd rather they ask what happened," he says. "Especially little kids, they are so curious and they come up, sometimes they ask if I'm okay, if I'm hurt -- but then they get dragged away by their parents."

One time when Henline was visiting a Boston hospital, a guy cleaning plants in the waiting room took one look at him and burst out: "Jesus Christ! What happened to you?"

"I almost died laughing," Henline said. "Most people just avert their eyes."




Henline and others have had children run away from them, screaming. "I knew I looked different," says Henline, who just turned 40. "I couldn't help noticing people staring. My kids would get upset at it."

Bobby Henline and David Wood will discuss "Beyond The Battlefield" in a live video chat this Friday. See more details and send them questions.

When Tyler Southern first went home on leave from Bethesda Military Hospital, months after being injured in Afghanistan by an IED that severed both legs and his right arm, he arrived in a wheelchair anxious to see his young cousins and the neighborhood kids for whom he had babysat. They clustered inside, took one look -- and ran.

Tyler was crushed.

After he noticed people rudely staring at him at the mall, he had a darkly humorous T-shirt made up that reads: "If you stop staring, it'll grow back."

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"Beyond The Battlefield" is a 10-part series exploring the challenges that severely wounded veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan face after they return home, as well as what those struggles mean for those...
"Beyond The Battlefield" is a 10-part series exploring the challenges that severely wounded veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan face after they return home, as well as what those struggles mean for those...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lawyer13
retired Lawyer, General and Psychiatric Nurse, wit
07:23 AM on 11/05/2011
A view from across the pond : We all need to support our service personnel, they do so much for their country, some have given their today so you can have a tomorrow. A good friend from Springfield MO Dr. Rita Spilken runs a great charity for vets, please go to www.ourhousefoundation.org and give them your support and help
04:00 AM on 11/08/2011
I served with a few British Royal Marines ( im assuming thats where youre from) good bunch of guys. Unfortunately lost one.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Lawyer13
retired Lawyer, General and Psychiatric Nurse, wit
04:26 AM on 11/08/2011
Yes indeed, I served in Borneo between 1965 and 1967 with the Royal Army Medical Corps, I was in the Corps from 1957
01:22 PM on 10/19/2011
The other posters on this thread are right, we should all disrespect the military because people who love their country are bad.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tbone99
cruisin' duality
11:55 AM on 10/20/2011
The Nazis destroyed millions of lives because "they loved their country" more than humanity itself
12:27 PM on 10/20/2011
which is why we need to make displaying the American flag, illegal
11:53 AM on 10/19/2011
TO ALL GOOD AMERICAN SOLDIERS: I'm terribly sorry for the horrible things that you soldiers at war have to endure for our FREEDOM. Thank you for you dedication to The United States of America.
10:51 AM on 10/19/2011
First, Thanks to all our Servicemen and Women, who have given so much of themselves for our Country and for "my" freedom. We can never repay you! Second, please accept our apologies for not asking. We want to ask, but don't want to intrude or make you feel uncomfortable, so we try to just act normal. Hoping we will somehow make you feel normal, or feel as nothing is different. Knowing your normalcy has changed. Maybe we should print buttons, that say, "Hey, Just Ask?" Then we would know who needs to talk about it, and who needs to ignore it! Again, thank you all for your service! My heart is with you ALL!
10:43 AM on 10/19/2011
As a country, we don't do enough for our injured soldiers.....there have been too many disgraceful stories of half-assed medical treatments, housing & financial issues. These brave men & women have served this nation proudly...you can disagree with the mission...that is your right...but it is your DUTY to assist those who have been injured in the line of duty. They are prepared to fight and pay the highest price...taking life changing injuries, death and loss of family....all so some of you can sit and plunk away at your keyboards. They fight so you don't have to.

Thanks to all of you who have served this Nation....may God Bless you and keep you safe. To the rest of you, if you see a uniformed soldier eating out....pick up his tab and show some appreciation. None of this is about politics or beliefs....simply the right & wrong of being an American.
07:03 AM on 10/19/2011
I want to thank all of our soldiers for their service to our country!! I think what JR Martinez is doing on "Dancing with the Stars" is fabulous. If you are American and don't fill up with tears than something is wrong. It truly is an eye opener to what is happening to our loved ones during this war. I think his courage and bravery is a shout out to all of our soldiers. With that said, I am struggling with the approach. I am not sure I can go up to a stranger and put them on the spot by asking what happened and pray that they have accepted fate and moved on. How do I know that they are not resentful or hateful? I know what it says in the article but how do you know the injury is even military related? It would be just my luck to approach a man/woman and have him tell me his house caught fire and he barely lived! Typical case of "Damned if you do and damned if you don't". So, if I don't thank you face to face, just know you are all hero's in my eyes!
06:46 AM on 10/19/2011
I really appreciate the article. I think so many of us were raised not to ask people what we consider invasive questions so instead we turn away, not out of revulsion but out of what we think is compassion. We have always taught our children not to stare as we were taught. I will always respect and appreciate the veterans and what they have endured to keep our country safe. I hope that he understands that some of us are turning away because we don't want to upset him. I now know that he would appreciate and not resent the questions.
06:33 AM on 10/19/2011
God Bless all you of you who go and fight for us! No worries though, Brock (tv name) from All My Children had the same thing happen to him in real life and he didn't let that stop him. He was on a TV soap and now doing dancing with the stars and is just blowing the fans away KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND BE PROUD!!!!!!!
05:44 AM on 10/19/2011
My family and I have done some volunteering and given support to the Wounded Warriors program based out of Ft. Bliss and I have to say it breaks my heart to hear that these brave men and women are shunned and treated like oddities to be viewed at a Carnival show. These men and women deserve respect they were injured fighting for the freedoms that most of us take for granted everyday. I pray for the safety of our men and women in the Armed Forces and want to say thank you for the sacrifices you make. From me and my family We Believe in You!
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12:57 AM on 10/19/2011
We are so afraid of dishonoring our warriors -- which is what we shamefully did to our Vietnam warriors -- that we're afraid to speak the truth. And the truth is that the wars in Iran and Afghanistan have been needless and, consequently, too many of our warriors have died or suffered mental and/or physical injuries which didn't have to happen. These wars haven't been fought for our 'protection' and our 'security' and our 'freedom'. These wars have been fought to make the very rich in The US richer. And my greatest fear is that when we average middle-class and poor Americans wake up to what is really going on in our country, it's going to be too late. Actually, I think it's already too late.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mulepick
12:07 AM on 10/19/2011
It doesn't matter if was a "good war" or a "bad war", that's for civilians to argue about with each other and their conciences. When sent, the military goes. They pride themselves on being the hardest and most accurate hammer on earth though they sometimes get stuck being used as a screwdriver. I'd be embarrassed to be the President or a Congressman if I hadn't served in the military.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
walsenberg
12:25 AM on 10/19/2011
Why do you think it takes a military person to be a president or representative? You think McCain would have made a good president JUST because he was in the military? The constitution does not make it a requirement and for that I am thankful. Being in the military DOES NOT give you special powers and better intellect or even make one a better person.
What screwed up thinking.
01:41 AM on 10/19/2011
The President need not be a veteran, but he needs to have veterans as a part of his inner circle so that he can better understand the cost of going to war. Perhaps it is more important that the members of Congress be veterans because they are the ones that set in motion the events that lead to armed conflict. In todays Congress, the following leaders have NOT served in the armed forces of the United States; John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Rick Santorum, Trent Lott. Others in the positions of Leadership who have not; Mitt Romney, Rudy Giukiani, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Neut Gingrich, Sean Hannity. One who did, Ron Paul. These are the people who send our soldiers into combat with body armor jackets...minus the ceramic armor, Humvees without armor....because they have never been a part of the team. They manage the game from the grandstands. They've never known pure terror.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mulepick
11:20 AM on 10/19/2011
I could not send someone to war if I, at some time, had not stood up and being among those prepared to be sent. There is no substitute for the experience of volunteering to fight to the death for something. Military experience may not make one special, smart, or better, but it DOES give insight that should be a requirement before one has the power to send others. I think this uninformed thinking is what has taken America into a lot of the latest "police actions" and the reason that the military has been used as a proving ground for various social experiments.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tbone99
cruisin' duality
11:56 AM on 10/20/2011
"When sent, the military goes".
One of the most noted uses of this plea, or "defense," was by the accused in the 1945–46 Nuremberg Trials
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mulepick
04:24 PM on 10/20/2011
Really? What similiar but horribly bent universe do you live in to bring that up in this conversation?
11:59 PM on 10/18/2011
tbone99 I can assure you that 99.9% of these women and men are heroes as well as their families. While you're probably going to work at the mall our military is dodging life and death situations that leave physical & emotion scars which will be a reminder long after the war is over. Mothers, fathers, spouses & children fear someone will knock on their door to tell them their loved one didn't make it. This very special group of people miss birthdays, holidays and family gatherings. I know, I was the child of a father who served in the military and went to war.

It's sad that Instead of recognizing the many heroes you choose to make celebrities out of the very few that are a shame to not only the military but to all of us as a nation. .

God bless our military and their families, past, present and future.
01:23 PM on 10/19/2011
But Liberals teach me that people who love their country are bad
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tbone99
cruisin' duality
12:06 PM on 10/20/2011
I don't work at the mall and not all soldiers are heroes. There is wide variety of reasons why people enlist, money being one of the top , like any other job.
10:47 PM on 10/24/2011
You're clearly not the sharpest tack in the box, I'll leave it at that.
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19th Amendment
My vote negates your legislative vjj wand. :o)
11:12 PM on 10/18/2011
Look, y'all; this is pretty much a no brainer. My beloved cousin (civilian) suffered similar injuries due to a(n?) horrific accident. Remember these three words: Just be there. When going through such a terrifying experience of not knowing if your loved one is going to survive, we ALL have to heal and process it together. Sometimes we want to rage at the world, but rest assured, the most healing support one can offer is to set aside one's own panic and just be there.

There's also something about the nature of the person that fights back and survives. I certainly recall vividly, in our childhood days of yonder, both me and my cousin duking it out with one another for Grandma's attention and (grody) glass bowl candy. My cousin always managed to brat/charm himself to more of our Grandma's candy than me .

While I had dreams of clocking him in the head when I was 7 and he was 5, I adore him now more than ever. I still see that fisty, snarky brat right thu to his Soul. (((Hugs)))
10:56 PM on 10/18/2011
It is so nice to read these veterans sharing their feelings and giving me an education on how they want to be treated. I will never know what they went through before, during and after their wounds. I'm a Navy veteran who never served in combat. I'm thankful they are alive to tell us about it. In earlier wars men died with lesser wounds. I think most Americans support our troops now, a lot of them because they feel so guilty of how they treated our Vietnam veterans. I know I will always walk up to a person in uniform and thank them for their service, but now I will also ask those I see disfigured or missing limbs etc. what happened and if they are a veteran I will thank them for their service, if it is a person who was involved in a traffic accident and so on, at least I can say, hang in there and wish them well. I always try and help a handicapped person when I see they need it.
02:09 AM on 10/19/2011
What a nice post! I am sure that it will be appreciated by our veterans and it will inspire other people to do what you are doing!! Fanned and faved
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wetbonder
Educating liberals one day at a time
10:54 PM on 10/18/2011
A truly useful post.

In all sincerity, congratulations.