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Paul Moran, Northern Ireland Man, Tries To Turn Feces Into Gold, Ends Up In Jail

First Posted: 10/21/11 04:05 PM ET Updated: 10/21/11 04:11 PM ET

The plan was to s!@# bricks -- gold bricks.

Paul Moran hatched a scheme to get rich quick by turning his own feces into gold, according to authorities in Northern Ireland. But like King Midas himself, Moran might have flushed his life down the drain in pursuit of his golden dreams.

Moran's attempts at alchemy crossed the line into arson when he set his apartment on fire after placing his feces on an electric heater, according to The Belfast Telegraph.

The 30-year-old resident of the town of Enniskillen reportedly caused nearly $4,800 in damages to his home.

Moran was charged with arson and endangering the lives of others. He was sentenced to three months in jail followed by one year on supervised release.

"Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human feces and waste products," the judge stated, according to The Belfast Telegraph. "It was an interesting experiment to fulfill the alchemist's dream, but wasn't going to succeed."

Moran's lawyer reportedly stated that his client is a smart man who has suffered from a drug problem.

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The plan was to s!@# bricks -- gold bricks. Paul Moran hatched a scheme to get rich quick by turning his own feces into gold, according to authorities in Northern Ireland. But like King Midas himse...
The plan was to s!@# bricks -- gold bricks. Paul Moran hatched a scheme to get rich quick by turning his own feces into gold, according to authorities in Northern Ireland. But like King Midas himse...
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freddsky
The youth culture has fled its Petri dish!
02:17 AM on 10/31/2011
Meanwhile, on this side of the pond, our own paragon of the gold standard, Texas Governor Rick Perry, has decided to cut back somewhat on his public appearances. They simply take too much out of him!
03:56 PM on 10/26/2011
Well I mean hey the economy of almost every country is struggling in todays world.... I guarantee he won't be the only person with a weird get rich quick scheme we hear about!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nieschk
Silence... I keel you
12:19 PM on 10/26/2011
well, I have just about heard it all.......
02:45 PM on 10/25/2011
I thought I was smelling some $h_t
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grayplace
Life's a dream within a dream.
09:46 PM on 10/24/2011
I didn't know they had GOP/TP inN. Ireland!
03:30 PM on 10/24/2011
there was bad santa.... and now there is bad leprechaun
03:28 PM on 10/24/2011
wait did i read that right, he had a drug problem not a drinking problem? what the...?!
08:15 AM on 10/26/2011
No such thing in Ireland.
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atx888
micro-bio empty bcuz my brain needs the space
02:12 AM on 10/24/2011
It must hard for her to tell us this story while trying to keeping a straight face. Who would have thought of literally making a shitload of gold?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
miltjones65
liberals should rule
10:09 PM on 10/23/2011
The GOP is trying this experiment with their candidates. Feces to president. They should go to jail also.
07:57 AM on 10/24/2011
MORON
08:41 AM on 10/24/2011
Now that is gold.
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09:40 PM on 10/23/2011
I once pooped my moms 18k gold chain at age 4... She is still wearing it! It makes me wonder how did she digged it out.
Mort Adela
Was a trapeze artist. Until I got dropped.
06:14 AM on 10/24/2011
I am not no how she digged it out make me wander to.
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09:31 PM on 10/23/2011
This guy must have the worst, most flammable poop in the this earth. I know it most have been really hard to breath the air in there...
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hlnpayne
08:00 PM on 10/23/2011
that had to really stink
07:17 PM on 10/23/2011
I assume if i take said Fecal matter and spin it in my Centrifuge at 65,000 revolutions per minute, adding Emulsifiers, and Distracting Ostegenesis, i will be able to "Commercially SUB-TRACT", or kill, all Poop every where...I am the "Lizard--[SLASH]-rah-POOP-KING"! Do not reply w hate! This is the comedy section and these are just Jokes!lol --so if you are not completely P- 2 the os -positive, the keep it moving, move along! STEP AWAY FROM THE COMEDY! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN VIOLENT, IF ASKED TO BE SILENT! YOU are NOT under arrest! So "You DO NOT need a LAWYER! Every thing you say WILL NOT BE USED AGAINST YOU in a Court of LAW! YOU CAN NOT STOP THIS COMEDIAN AT ANY TIME NOR WILL HE ASSIST YOU IN ANY WAY EXCEPT FOR LAUGHTER"! THESE ARE MY MIRANDA RIGHTS CONCERNING COMEDY-ENJOY!
07:05 PM on 10/23/2011
If I were him, I'd be a little PO'ed at the leprechaun that gave me the recipe.
02:54 PM on 10/23/2011
A smart man that surfers from drug use? Thats the defense lawyer claim. one could think he is full
feceses.
06:48 PM on 10/23/2011
Poop even, i say old boy and all that rot.