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New York Parent Teacher Association Official Says Gay Group Never Got Approval

Gay Students

By FRANK ELTMAN   11/ 2/11 04:14 PM ET   AP

GARDEN CITY, N.Y. -- A New York group calling itself the first Parent-Teacher Association unit in the country dedicated to the needs of gay and lesbian youths is under fire from the president of the state PTA, who says permission was never granted to use the trademarked organization's moniker.

Maria Fletcher did not take a position Wednesday on whether the group should be given permission to use the PTA name, but expressed concern that it was focused too specifically on one constituency.

"We're an organization that prides itself on being for all children, regardless of race, creed, religion or sexual orientation," Fletcher said in a telephone interview.

James Martinez, senior manager of media relations at the National PTA, said the national organization knew of no PTA dedicated specifically to advocacy for gay students. He referred further questions to the state organization.

David Kilmnick, the head of an association of five nonprofits supporting the Long Island Gay Parent Teacher Association, said the group contacted state PTA officials in October but never heard back. Kilmnick contended the group merely wants to be another advocate fighting bullying and intimidation of homosexuals in school. The group holds its first meeting Wednesday night on Long Island.

"The argument against this reminds me of the debate about civil unions versus marriage and other civil rights debates in the past," said Kilmnick, chief executive of the Long Island GLBT Services Network. "We are not going to allow them to say that a Gay PTA is not welcome in the front of the school bus."

Kilmnick said he sent a letter to the state organization on Oct. 24, expressing interest in forming the PTA chapter, but never got a response.

"The person I spoke to at the state organization thought it was a fantastic idea," Kilmnick said. "We would be more than happy to sit down with them and explain why we should be doing this."

Fletcher, a longtime PTA member from Valley Stream, N.Y., said she did not receive a copy of Kilmnick's letter until a reporter forwarded it to her on Wednesday.

"There is a concern," she said. "I am not sure what we would do if some group came to us and said they want to have an African-American PTA or a Hispanic PTA. Our primary objective is we're for all children."

Fletcher said her organization was considering its options regarding the group, but said legal action was not an option at this time.

"We'll probably send a strongly worded letter," she said. "I mean, what would we gain by having a court fight?"

Unlike most PTA units that are affiliated with a particular community school, the Gay PTA is inviting parents and school officials from across Long Island to participate. Kilmick said the primary focus is to advocate for students who have been harassed in school because of their sexual orientation.

"There is an epidemic of bullying and violence in schools, and gay students are targeted more than any other group," he said. "For the most part, the local PTA organizations do not address this head on. Many parents have come to us and want to get involved; they want to do something to change the course of their child's life."

Laurie Scheinman of Port Washington said her 19-year-old son Sam announced he was gay about five years ago. She said she and her husband sought out community groups and others to discuss how to deal with the issue, but found few community resources.

"We are pretty progressive parents, I like to think," she said. "But we really knew very little about the gay movement. We tried to understand more and tried to wrap our heads around the political and emotional implications. We felt helpless and wanted to become educated."

She and her husband met Kilmnick years ago and discussed the possibility of forming a PTA for parents of gay children.

"We have to make it so that people do not feel like they're all alone. It would have been nice for me to have a go-to person when I was first dealing with this. But those people really didn't exist. Now, I would like to be a go-to person for a parent or families or kids dealing with this."

She said she would also encourage opponents of gay rights to attend the meetings.

"I hope that even people who are negative will come and have a discussion," she said. "They should come with their concerns and worries. I hope they all come and we can have a dialogue."

Kilmnick said he expected several dozen people would attend the group's first meeting, in Garden City.

"We want to be a model for other communities to follow," he said.

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07:12 PM on 11/27/2011
There are many schools, try a high school in Pittsburgh, CA, where the adults ridicule gay kids, and the PTA hasn't stopped it. If they are for all students, they should step in, and, by the way, answer inquiries from parents and other citizens. www.grandparentoptions.com
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jonathan6773
The countdown to Summer 2012 begins
01:58 AM on 11/06/2011
The school I went to had a LGBT alliance. The people of my city is more accepting than the people in Texas. Right wing Conservatives will do anything to make sure It Doesn't Get Better.
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04:30 AM on 11/04/2011
What's incredible is that when I went to school (decades ago) there was no such thing as lgbqrstuv whatever.

What is going on America? The absurd becomes normal and the normal is absurd?

Think I'll keep my sons here in the old country with traditional values.
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Atwill
Proud Father of a gay son.
07:18 AM on 11/04/2011
make sure you teach them the proper way to beat their slaves.
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08:25 AM on 11/04/2011
Thank you for demonstrating the absurdity of which I speak. Europe did away with slavery before the US with simple decrees from the state.
07:06 PM on 11/27/2011
I can't believe that "liberaltotalitarianism" translates into intolerance, but maybe it does. But, just so you know, when you went to school decades ago, there were gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning students, most of whom were afraid and miserable. Not only did they not have advocates at school, but most did not have advocates at home. Most of our parents were straight, as I assume you are, and their influence didn't seem to make a bit of difference in how we turned out. And, thankfully, most of us survived. www.grandparentoptions.com
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rockysparks
there's no law against being annoying.
04:32 AM on 11/03/2011
I think the intention of the group was good and I think they --- and all PTA groups should be advocating for LGBT students, teachers and parents. But I see the point of the parent organization --- does this open the door for all sorts of specialized subgroups?
11:19 PM on 11/02/2011
Who cares what you call the group, just help those gay and lesbian students so they dont add to an alarming suicide rate in that demographic. Churches and right wing political groups spew hate rhetoric which in part contribute to the negative feeling a gay person grows up with.
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socraticus
The unexamined life is not worth living.
09:34 PM on 11/12/2011
And they do it in the name of "love" and "compassion." They hate the "sin but not the "sinner." Well, I hate Christianity but not the Christian. Any of you Christians who take offense at that now know how that statement feels. lol.
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onwisconsin
Trust women; protect choice.
10:36 PM on 11/02/2011
This is why so many schools' parent organizations are called PTOs. Change the last letter and do what you need to do to help these kids.
Hopefully you also have a student gay-straight alliance.
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dbrett480
08:59 PM on 11/02/2011
The national PTA has a good point. EVERY PTA is school-based. There are no separate ones for students of different backgrounds. There is nothing wrong with forming a support/community group, but a PTA should not be dedicated to only one demographic.
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Atwill
Proud Father of a gay son.
08:27 PM on 11/02/2011
since when do you need approval to fight for equal rights?
10:31 PM on 11/02/2011
Since organizations started hiring lawyers to 'protect' the brand, apparently.
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04:33 AM on 11/04/2011
So a white supremisict PTA would be fine? I'm sure there are communities in the US that hold it as a majority population/interest.
All kinds of PTAs for every demographic, or one PTA for all?
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HerrMonk
Son of Apollo
06:32 PM on 11/02/2011
Clearly every identity groups (except for white straight males of course) needs to have institutional advocacy everywhere all the time.

Social identifiers are the most important aspects of us as people.

I am not simply a person I am my sexual orientation, sex, skin color, religion.
10:30 PM on 11/02/2011
"Social identifier­s are the most important aspects of us as people."

These are children we're talking about here. And, like it or not, often for them, social identifiers ARE the most important aspects of them.

They may well grow out of feeling that way as they mature, but in themeantime, the children in questino are gay. Why no tgive them all the support they and their parents need? Especially in an age where a teacher is, apparently, quite free to refer to gays as a "cancer".
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04:45 AM on 11/04/2011
I prefer to just be a normal person.