The 2012 Speculatron Weekly Roundup For November 4, 2011

Look: we're not going to B.S. you today. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know this week has been consumed by the multiple allegations of sexual harassment levied against 2012 frontrunner Herman Cain, dating back to the 1990s, and everything that followed after that. Namely, the denials, the reversals, the defenses, the accusations of dirty play (Politico is racist! Rick Perry probably did it!), and many moments featuring Cain awkwardly interacting with the press. We've heard that new ringtone of Herman Cain bellowing, "Excuse me! EX-CUSE ME!" maybe 700 times. Which remind us to ask those of you who have been living under a rock: are you subletting space? We are very clean and quiet people. Please let us know!

If you weren't a 2012 contender named "Herman Cain," you probably got to take the week off. The media essentially gave you a pass. If you didn't want to talk about Herman Cain (some did, most didn't, Rick Perry wasn't given much of a choice after Cain's campaign blamed his for spilling the story to Politico), then you didn't have to say anything to the press. And that's pretty significant, when you consider that you didn't hear all that much noise being made over Mitt Romney's Ponzi scheme pals, or Michele Bachmann's Ponzi scheme pals, or that new dumb concern about Jon Huntsman's Mandarin skills.

Hell, Cain himself benefitted from the distraction. Yeah, he got caught up in those allegations, and made a name for himself as a foreign policy dullard by not realizing that China had nuclear weapons, but he hasn't had to worry that much about his own campaign finance funny business, which we bet the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel thought was going to be a huge story.

The Cain story broke a few hours too late for Rick Perry, who set eyebrows at full arch during his keynote speech to the Cornerstone Action annual dinner, which looked for all the world as if he had done two tabs of Ecstacy before he started speaking. And then came that moment where he went moony-eyed and fondlesome over a bottle of maple syrup that the organization gave him as a gift. Lots of people wondered if Perry was okay, but days after Cain began his long dark period of struggle, Perry was back on the air, flexing his considerable fundraising muscles with positive ads in the early primary states.

We can basically sum up this week in one graph, frankly:

Of course, this meant that Romney had another stealthily good week. Romney's found a shrewd strategy in this race so far: stay away from the media and let the rest of the field implode. It's working like gangbusters. So much so that Obama's reelection campaign has all but determined that it's the former Massachusetts Governor that they'll be facing next year. Already, the White House is sharpening its attacks on Romney, and the campaign is devising its long-term strategy against him.

And on that score, your conventional Beltway analysis is also beginning to form: can Obama run a negative campaign while keeping his shirt clean? This is sort of premised on the notion that running a negative campaign will somehow be a new thing for Obama. But the facts say otherwise. Let's say it aloud together: Barack Obama ran a negative campaign in 2008. Everyone who covered it just decided that it was a positive campaign. Most of those who say that it was positive should know better, but when you're a slave to a narrative of your own making and that narrative is "this is a different and special campaign," that's what you end up believing. And yes, it was a different and special campaign from the perspective of many voters, but for the McCain campaign, it was a lot of negative ads.

Plenty of other stuff happened this week on the campaign trail that was not related to Herman Cain's alleged improprieties. Rick Perry got tripped up by a piece of satire. Mitt Romney earned ire from conservatives over another flip-flop. Buddy Roemer's faint hopes suffered a huge setback. Ron Paul sounded cautious optimism on the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations. Newt Gingrich got caught in a feud, Fred Karger went to war on juice, Obama got good polling news for once, and can you guess what candidate got compared to a pocketful of smelly string cheese? To find out, please feel free to enter the Speculatron for the week of November 4, 2011.

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Michele Bachmann

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Bachmann's campaign has long been scraping the bottom of the polls, but this week, the Minnesota congresswoman had to deal with the sting of rejection on multiple occasions. Ed Rollins, the former Bachmann campaign manager turned good-God-what-was-I-thinking-er who is now never trotted out on teevee to offer his election analysis without being asked to get in one good dig at his former employer, told Chuck Todd this week that Bachmann's campaign "was a mess" and lacked a credible organization to perform the necessary retail politics in Iowa. (Romney, he said, had the best operation in Iowa, which is quite a thing to hear given the minimum amount of sweat equity the candidate himself has invested in the Hawkeye State.) Rollins went on to tell ABC News that Bachmann had "run out of money and ideas."

Said Rollins: "She's still saying the same things she said in the first the debate. There's no substance. She says, 'I'm going to repeal Obamacare.' But she's been saying that from Day 1. I told her: That's your Tea Party speech, now you have to say what you're going to do next."

Rollins wasn't the only one slagging off the Bachmann campaign. Last week, Bachmann endured the rejection of a Tea Party affiliated group called American Majority. This week, she somehow got it in her head that a Rick Perry "dirty trick" was behind all that, according to some people she met in a parking lot or something. She also lost the support of Bradlee Dean, who Mother Jones' Tim Murphy describes as a "longtime ally" and "an anti-gay hair-metal evangelist who Bachmann has raised money for and publicly prayed for." Dean, who is suing Rachel Maddow for making fun of the fact that he spells his name "Bradlee" (yes, that is a real thing happening in America), had an interesting way of talking about his decision to quit Bachmann:

It's like the guy that walks around with an open container of cheese, you know those little string-cheese deals, in his pocket. Everyone's walking around trying to figure out, 'Where's that smell coming from? You stink you stink.' And everyone knows who stinks, they're just trying to figure out why that individual stinks. Well, go look. But that individual's walking around with their nose in their air like they're all that and a bag chips. And she doesn't realize everybody's lookin' at her, like, 'Lady, you stink.'"

The guy who walks around with an open container of string-cheese? There is, we suspect, a decent Replacements song in there somewhere. Also sounding off on Bachmann this week is Michael Gerson, who calls her campaign "callous and discreditable":

Bachmann's candidacy represents a digression in the quality and seriousness of evangelical political engagement. It is difficult to imagine Mike Huckabee boasting of his indifference to the health and welfare of children, whatever their background. Even Pat Robertson, running for president in 1988, would have balked at such callousness. Both men would have been too conscious of the warnings found in Matthew 25, where Christianity's founder defines the proper Christian attitude toward the hungry, the sick, the prisoner and the stranger. "Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these," he said, "you did not do for me."

And this week, it sure seemed like Bachmann, who is never shy of touting the amount of children she's cared for -- which, depending on the relative humidity that day, ranges between 15 and 30 -- really had it out for children. Bachmann would not do a thing to help the children of undocumented immigrants in any way, shape, or form. But she doesn't seem to have much affection for the children who are citizens of the United States, either. She was really upset with the news that President Obama wanted to do something to alleviate the crippling burden of student loan debt in today's stagnant economy, and her new tax plan would do away with a tax credit that's currently keeping millions of children out of poverty. Still, after accusing Rick Perry of stealing her tax plan last week, we suppose that it's a mitzvah that she even has one now, though it mainly consists of her yelling at Occupy Wall Street for publicly airing their grievances against the overseers of a financial system that decimated the economy and who had to be bailed out by taxpayers who have gotten little in return. We can also say with certainty that after floating the idea that no one should pay any taxes ever in a previous candidate debate, she now thinks that all the poors need to pay federal income taxes in addition to the taxes they're already paying:

"They need to be invested in the country," she said. "Even if they can only afford $10, they need to pay something."

The reason some people do not pay federal income taxes at the moment is because the current tax law respects the fact that many Americans who already pay a bunch of taxes need that $10 that's left over to buy a week's worth of food for their entire family et cetera. But this is just Bachmann being Bachmann, which she is able to do now that she's free of Ed Rollins and his "let's try to make a nominal amount of sense" strategies. And first things first: Bachmann's Book Sales! Would you please buy her book? Or just have her book? If she tells you in an email where the truck that's delivering her book to the Barnes and Noble is, will you jack a copy from the back while the driver isn't looking? Because, WHAT A BOOK: "Core of Conviction," by Michele Bachmann. If you are one of her "strongest supporters," she will send you her book...for a donation. $75 gets you an autographed copy, $125 gets you a "personalized autographed copy." You can make her sign it, "I HEART OBAMACARE, LOVE SHELZIE," for just $125! Do this now, because the remainder pile awaits! Beyond that, she's serving up the classic stuff, like foreign policy ignorance and sharia panic. And while on the trail, she's been working hard at decrying cronyism in all its forms while having a crony problem of her own, in the form of a ponzi-schemer who's been packing the warchests of various Minnesota politicians in a naked effort to try to obtain a presidential pardon for a felony conviction. Bachmann is one of the few recipients of his largesse who has been making this effort on his behalf. Bachmann is also worried that America is turning into a Banana Republic, which concerns us because we don't care for their new line of women's wear.

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Bachmann's campaign has long been scraping the bottom of the polls, but this week, the Minnesota congresswoman had to deal with the sting of rejection on multiple occasions. Ed Rollins, the former Bachmann campaign manager turned good-God-what-was-I-thinking-er who is now never trotted out on teevee to offer his election analysis without being asked to get in one good dig at his former employer, told Chuck Todd this week that Bachmann's campaign "was a mess" and lacked a credible organization to perform the necessary retail politics in Iowa. (Romney, he said, had the best operation in Iowa, which is quite a thing to hear given the minimum amount of sweat equity the candidate himself has invested in the Hawkeye State.)

Rollins went on to tell ABC News that Bachmann had "run out of money and ideas."

Said Rollins: "She's still saying the same things she said in the first the debate. There's no substance. She says, 'I'm going to repeal Obamacare.' But she's been saying that from Day 1. I told her: That's your Tea Party speech, now you have to say what you're going to do next."

Rollins wasn't the only one slagging off the Bachmann campaign. Last week, Bachmann endured the rejection of a Tea Party affiliated group called American Majority. This week, she somehow got it in her head that a Rick Perry "dirty trick" was behind all that, according to some people she met in a parking lot or something. She also lost the support of Bradlee Dean, who Mother Jones' Tim Murphy describes as a "longtime ally" and "an anti-gay hair-metal evangelist who Bachmann has raised money for and publicly prayed for."

Dean, who is suing Rachel Maddow for making fun of the fact that he spells his name "Bradlee" (yes, that is a real thing happening in America), had an interesting way of talking about his decision to quit Bachmann:

It's like the guy that walks around with an open container of cheese, you know those little string-cheese deals, in his pocket. Everyone's walking around trying to figure out, 'Where's that smell coming from? You stink you stink.' And everyone knows who sti

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Michael5555 said on 5 Saturday 2011 am30 7:26 am: Well, most of us are not socialists, so most of us would disagree with you.

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Comments

[Juliawerck]

08:01 PM on 11/06/2011

Herman Koch and Pastor Perry both need to change the titles of their book to"RETURN TO SENDER'

[glennkromminga]

08:01 PM on 11/06/2011

Herman Cain is bullying his way through the issue?

[POIIUIYT]

07:23 PM on 11/06/2011

i just realized something. i'd bet that if someone offered boehner, ryan, and cantor enough money they'd switch their allegiance to the democratic party. we just need a rich enough pimp. Perry even admitted that $5000 was hardly enough money to buy his vote....after all....merck gave him much more. wouldn't it be great for cain if one of the women would simply say "he's a great lover."Immediately the camp followers would be knocking at his door and doing it for free. You can bet Bill Clinton never paid a cent for Monica's rent. Monica raved about him. Yeah I know...liberals lie.

[jfbuf]

04:52 PM on 11/06/2011

Excuse me Herman, but I think your 15 minutes are up

[Mattcat25]

08:12 PM on 11/06/2011

"EXCUSE ME!"

[Salukeitis]

08:36 PM on 11/06/2011

Excuse me, Excuse me don't forget me, the Donald.

[txadams]

03:39 PM on 11/06/2011

Cain is losing some ground but not as much as you would expect. You have to remember that the GOP is a party of white men and they consider anyone else, including women, second class citizens so this outrage is crocodile tear for someone beneath them.

[StillIRise]

12:16 PM on 11/06/2011

I respect the show of support that I'm reading in the posts for Ron Paul; however the reality is, Ron Paul will not be the GOP nominee for President. Neither the establishment GOP nor the tea party GOP support Paul, and without their support - especially the tea party support - he cannot possibly win the nomination. Also, because the Republican Party represents corporate America and because corporate America controls the media - both the conservative as well as the so called liberal media - then Paul cannot expect to bask in the media spotlight ... no matter how many "straw polls" he wins!!! And the reason he's winning so many "straw polls" is not necessarily because he's such a promising candidate; in fact, it's more likely because of the GOP alternatives to Paul, which even the Republican base finds hard to stomach! Bottom line: President Obama will be re-elected. Obama 2012.

[LibRule]

11:54 AM on 11/06/2011

Let's do the math! Cain was HIRED to be pizza CEO. He did not,as they would have you believe, 'build the brand.' He was there only THREE years. Why such a short tenure? Could it be because the company paid out $80K ($35K to one, $45K to the other) - that we know of - to settle sexual discrimination suits? What nutcases would want this man for president?

[Gestas]

02:06 PM on 11/06/2011

Herman was a Lobbyist (The Very Best Kind Of People) when He was sued for Sexual Harrassment.

[LibRule]

02:27 PM on 11/06/2011

Now- they are saying the restaurant co. paid the hush money- was he lobbying for them?

[Jerboy]

11:39 AM on 11/06/2011

I can hardly wait for the next "debate" where the audience can cheer references to hostile workplace environments.
Other references in the wings:
Stomping puppies
Pulling wings off flies
Salting halloween candy

[bradenton]

11:08 AM on 11/06/2011

I just love it when Cain does his George Jefferson imitation. What a hoot!

[ashley22]

10:49 AM on 11/06/2011

Now that Gov.Rick Perry is an official candidate for president and going around bragging about all
the jobs he created.I am sure all the laid-off teachers and school personnel who are out of jobs-
when he could have used the rainy day fund to keep them working would rather refer to him as
Pink Slip Perry.

[schildpad]

01:51 PM on 11/06/2011

If I were Perry, I'd keep my mouth shut about the jobs thing. Anyone who cares to take a closer look will find that his record is an absolute joke.

[Bill in Michigan]

08:44 AM on 11/07/2011

Thank you for your comment, but there is a flaw in your argument revealed in the phrase "anyone who cares to take a closer look." Perry will continue to tout his jobs record because most people will not bother to take a closer look. It is the standard GOP "big lie" strategy: repeat a lie often enough and people will believe it. If you could suggest a strategy for getting voters to take a closer look at all of these GOP candidates, it would be a big step toward making democracy work again.

[TN60]

10:31 AM on 11/06/2011

No, I own and it is not a rock. But that is where my mind is..........sending all the tea loons and Republicans back to the rock they crawled out from under. Too bad if they own and are not subletting under that rock. Their MESS might have them underwater a tad !

I think more than a few are like me...........cleaning out Congress of all this stinking filth.

[RJB Boston]

09:46 AM on 11/06/2011

the man with the string cheese hair

[Skunkman]

08:53 AM on 11/06/2011

"There are too many people in the media who are downright dishonest," Cain said

They reported that two (now three) women were given settlements for keeping quite about sexual harassment claims they alleged were committed by Cain. Did that not happen? What's dishonest? By his own admission, that is what happened. He denied it at first. Who's dishonest now? Cain's handlers have told him to say "The media is dishonest" at any given opportunity. The weak minded masses will eventually believe he was "lynched" by the media. GOP Playbook play 159 Say it enough and it becomes true.

Mike:

[xiaogermaine8]

08:52 AM on 11/06/2011

Huffpost this graph is you own doing and you are taking a risk of being sued soon enough.

[LibRule]

11:56 AM on 11/06/2011

Wah!!!!!!!

[schildpad]

01:52 PM on 11/06/2011

Babydoll, go cry someplace else. Please.

[davegstein]

08:45 AM on 11/06/2011

Maddow nailed it...Cain is performance art...with the fringe benefits of increasing book sales and speaking fees and such.That he caught a bump in the polls surprised even him and gave him hope that maybe his campaign could be for real...but it was never meant to be,even without these sexual misconducts....
For those on the right that thought this was for real,and got excited that you might have your own African American to run against Obama,the joke has been on you.But do enjoy,and please do put all your cash and all your support behind Cain.........