R. Kelly's Book: 6 Alternate Punny Titles (PICTURES)

Twitter was aflutter Wednesday morning with word that an R. Kelly memoir called "Soula Coaster" would be dropping Nov. 15, but it turns out the book may not even be released at all.

Why? What shortsighted business people would deprive world culture of what is sure to be one of the greatest literary works of the new millennium?

The only thing we could think of was that someone in some office somewhere got the crazy idea that "Soula Coaster" wasn't a good enough title and that they're holding off in order to re-brand the thing.

So to speed up the process we've come up with a few of our own punny suggestions.

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Comments

[Netta Chinn]

01:55 PM on 11/21/2011

Not funny

[gifu]

07:34 PM on 11/21/2011

Absolutely hilarious. This man is vain and foul.

[karlhungus08]

01:50 AM on 11/14/2011

I'll let the publishers pee on me if they release this book. Trapped in the closet was a literary tour de force, so I can't even begin to imagine what pearls of wisdom this tome contains.

[calilife4me]

06:17 PM on 11/13/2011

Drip, Drip, Drip....A true story!

[trweste144]

06:04 PM on 11/13/2011

How about: Surround them with Microphones and 100 Other ways to Screw with the Blind.

[Ganapati Edu]

05:35 PM on 11/13/2011

Those were not funny at all.

[tonrunner]

09:15 PM on 11/11/2011

I want to pee on your soulface.

[SkeeBee]

04:43 PM on 11/11/2011

Wow.
Those weren't funny.

How about:
Rain Down on Me.
Pi$$ed Off Over Pi$$ing On
My Ego Dwarfs My 'Talent'
I'm Just Kidding, I'm Just Taking the Pi$$
In Spite of All These Mics? My Lyrics $till $uck
Api$$y: My Journey Into Creating Uninspired Works.

[JerseyHooligan]

04:10 PM on 11/11/2011

Anything with pee would be good.

[kaos42]

11:47 AM on 11/11/2011

How about "Trapped in the Closet: The UNABRIDGED version"?

[ApprxAm]

11:32 AM on 11/11/2011

Urine My Mind Little GIrl

or

Pee U Later: A temporary Love Story

[BruntLIVE]

03:05 AM on 11/11/2011

R. Kelly's new book: For the Piss in Me, with the follow up DVD, Piss on U and the upcoming movie from Liongate Films....."Urine Fletcher goes Full Bore"

[JTyroler]

11:01 PM on 11/10/2011

Buying R. Kelly's memoir is just p*ssing money down the drain.

[Guardian Weasel]

02:23 PM on 11/10/2011

I thought OBSOULETE was pretty good.

[screwybruce]

01:24 PM on 11/10/2011

how about. This Mama's boy cant read!

[aphextwin07]

01:16 PM on 11/10/2011

"PEE ON YOU" nowhere to be found? son, I am disappoint.