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Same-Sex Couple Fights DOMA To Stay Together In U.S.

Doma Immigration

First Posted: 11/10/11 06:09 PM ET Updated: 11/10/11 07:56 PM ET

WASHINGTON -- U.S. citizen Kelli Ryan and Lucy Truman, a citizen of the United Kingdom, have been together for a decade and legally married in the United States for two years. If Truman loses her job, though, they face a different obstacle than heterosexual married couples in the same situation: They could be separated because the federal government won't recognize their marriage.

"We really simply want to be treated fairly and equally," Ryan, who was born in the United States, said on a call with reporters Thursday. "I feel as an American citizen that I should be able to have the same rights as all other American citizens and I should not be forced to choose between my country and my family."

Ryan and Truman are now petitioning the federal government, with help from Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.) and LGBT immigration rights group Immigration Equality, to keep them from being torn apart by the Defense of Marriage Act. DOMA bans same-sex couples -- even those legally married at the state-level -- from receiving federal benefits.

Blumenthal sent a letter to the Department of Homeland Security on Thursday asking the agency to allow same-sex spouses of American citizens to stay in the country, rather than being deported because of DOMA.

He requested that the Department of Homeland Security withhold its decision on Truman's green card application until Congress makes a final decision to end DOMA. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) and 11 other senators asked DHS and the Department of Justice in April to delay decisions on marriage-based green cards until questions over DOMA were resolved.

Both departments told the senators that discretion would be used in individual cases. In his Thursday letter, Blumenthal requested that immigration authorities review Ryan and Truman's case specifically.

"I believe that DOMA will be struck down by the courts as unconstitutional, perhaps even before the United States Congress repeals it," Blumenthal said on the conference call Thursday, hours after voting to repeal DOMA as part of the Senate Judiciary Committee. "But in the meantime there are extraordinarily unfair and discriminatory practical effects on couples like Kelli and Lucy."

Ryan and Truman are among the first same-sex married couples to make a public petition to the government for a green card, even though they know that under DOMA it will almost certainly be denied. Another married couple, American Bradford Wells and Australian Anthony John Makk, were denied their green-card application in July under the law.

"We are here to represent the people who have already left and are in exile, the families that have already been separated," Truman said.

Ryan and Truman said their inability to receive a green card for Truman puts them in constant fear that they could be separated. Truman is currently in the United States legally under a work visa for her job at Yale University, where she has a post-doctoral research fellowship. If Truman were to lose her job, she could be required to return to the United Kingdom.

"It's really difficult to do any sort of planning -- even in the short-term, let alone the long term," Ryan said. "It's paralyzing to try to do these things that other people take for granted. ... The prospect of us being torn apart really makes those decisions difficult."

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WASHINGTON -- U.S. citizen Kelli Ryan and Lucy Truman, a citizen of the United Kingdom, have been together for a decade and legally married in the United States for two years. If Truman loses her job,...
WASHINGTON -- U.S. citizen Kelli Ryan and Lucy Truman, a citizen of the United Kingdom, have been together for a decade and legally married in the United States for two years. If Truman loses her job,...
 
 
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10:26 AM on 11/14/2011
I'm from the UK, 19, and in a relationship with an American. We've currently spent two months apart, and the pattern is three months apart, three months together. Every time we part my heart breaks. Right now I'm just completely distraught and I'm so depressed and bitter all of the time that people don't care about us. DOMA means I can't move there, he can't sponsor me. And he's trained to do a job that isn't done in the UK. We really have no long-term future of being together. I'm crying right now typing this knowing it's all well and good people thinking this repeal of DOMA isn't important. My happiness isn't allowed by law, it destroys me.

So all of you people with your venom and your religion, I apologize, but I don't agree with you. I know of no God that would wish this torture upon any man or demon. This wrenching pain I feel all of the time, this longing just to be with the person I love. How proud your God must be of you.

So tell me, all of you. Please, I beg of you to respond to this post with a simple "You do not deserve to love and be loved, you being miserable and without your soul-mate is the will of God". Reply with that and nothing more, because it's what you are already saying to me, and it's a dagger through my heart. It's the source of my tears.
10:56 PM on 11/11/2011
more than 1,000 federal rights denied to same sex marriages

http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/reports/reports/GAOBenefits.pdf
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Contact1972
BigGayInc
01:01 PM on 11/12/2011
I often list all the benefits to those who ask what rights were denied. It seems to silence them.
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DessieRandom
ಠ_ಠ
02:40 PM on 11/11/2011
This is seriously sad. I hope they don't get separated from each other.
12:12 PM on 11/11/2011
Law is the Law till it's change. What's not to get?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lulo
Lord Snarkist I of Aragon
01:27 PM on 11/11/2011
I don't know. Why don't you tell us? It seems pretty clear to me. Two people are married, they love each other, they want to stay together.

Do we need to break out the crayons?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Contact1972
BigGayInc
01:41 PM on 11/11/2011
The world is not black and white. And the law will never change until people step up and challenge it. What's not to get?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ennis438
10:42 AM on 11/11/2011
Just because the Republiars can not accept same sex couples is no reason to put restrictions on their way of life. This is stupid. If these two women choose to be together, then they should be, and the Republiars should spend some time lecturing people like David Vitter, John Ensign, and the lying Bushrag who sent thousands of military personal to their death due to bold faced lies about WMD's if they have really woke up as far as ethics are concerned.
09:40 AM on 11/11/2011
being from outside the U.S looking in in,I got to ask,What is the difference between your religous fanatics and other countrys religous fanatics?Does "freedom of religion" not also mean "freedom from religion",you show off your constitution to the rest of world but ignore it at home.If traditional marriage is so important than why not outlaw divorce?Otherwise the definition of marriage would be ,one man one woman and two divorce lawers,face it, straight people are not that good at staying together,maybe gay people will be better at it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Alisa Neely
i SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS....EQUAL RIGHTS really....i f
03:03 AM on 11/11/2011
UNTIL EVERY STATE IN AMERICA RECOGNIZES SAME-SEX MARRIAGES, THE SAME WAY THEY DO HETRO-SEXUAL MARRIAGES.....THERE IS "NO" EQUAL RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE.....same-sex marriage will NOT harm hetrosexual marriage....unless those who are CLOSED MINDED BIBLE THUMPER ALLOW IT TO.....LOVE IS LOVE, NO MATTER THE RACE OR GENDER OF THOSE INVOLVED.

STAND UP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT: EQUAL RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE which includes GAY RIGHTS!!!!

ALISA
tcny
Fixing a hole where the rain gets in...
04:05 AM on 11/11/2011
50-state recognition isn't enough, as that still does nothing regarding federal law or federal benefits (as in the case of this article).

DOMA must be repealed, as well.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Alisa Neely
i SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS....EQUAL RIGHTS really....i f
04:29 AM on 11/11/2011
i totally agree....it should be FEDERAL LAW....and DOMA does need to be totally 100% be REPEALED.

ALISA
08:11 AM on 11/11/2011
Would it satisfy you if all 57 states recognized it?
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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02:39 AM on 11/11/2011
These people are products of social engineering. Marriage is a relatively useless institution anyway, when you think about it, and consider the numerous failures. Nothing but a piece of paper that binds two people legally, and creates mass red tape should the two decide they want to part ways.
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Bob Kellerman
Let's have more sanity toward each other
03:47 AM on 11/11/2011
no sunlight in that comment --- just the harse lights of the interrogation room
NYC619
Tri-corn hats cannot fit block heads
01:03 AM on 11/11/2011
Why are the likes of Kim Kardashian, J-Lo, Kelsey Grammer, Donald Trump allowed to make such shams of marriage multiple times, but gay and lesbian couples cannot even marry once?
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Gay Pagan Man, Living Happily With Husband
04:14 AM on 11/12/2011
Good questions. It's the straights out there making a mockery of marriage, not same sex couples!
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Contact1972
BigGayInc
01:03 PM on 11/12/2011
That's a good point and one where I have yet to hear a rational answer to from the anti equality groups.
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SteveDenver
Progressive and liberal, just like Jesus Christ.
01:04 AM on 11/11/2011
My friend Lisa married her British love Tessa. The United States wouldn't extend Tessa's visa, but the U.K. fully recognized their marriage and offered partner benefits.

One reason conservatives want marriage decided in each state is so federal benefits -- immigration, Social Security survivor benefits, military and government pensions -- could be withheld from same-gender couples.
tcny
Fixing a hole where the rain gets in...
04:05 AM on 11/11/2011
That is why, no matter how many states legalize marriage equality, DOMA must still be repealed.
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12:29 AM on 11/11/2011
Not to worry. Little CON heads will all burst soon enough. But just try and find ONE that has the self respect to be honest about something, particularly their own sexuality.....
lasagnalover
The only true diversity, is diversity of thought
12:12 AM on 11/11/2011
if you DO support gay marriage...its only because you are so closed minded
03:28 AM on 11/11/2011
Interesting. How?
tcny
Fixing a hole where the rain gets in...
04:06 AM on 11/11/2011
Sorry, that makes no sense... care to elaborate?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Contact1972
BigGayInc
12:04 AM on 11/11/2011
As one half of a binational couple I have to say I'm beyond EXHAUSTED, FRUSTRATED, ANGRY, and just plain PISSED OFF! All I want to do is sponsor my partner just like every other straight binational couple. I shouldn't have to live in a state of perpetual anxiety wondering how were going to stay together, to build a life together before MY OWN GOVERNMENT that I pay taxes to tells me the man I love is someone I can't legally love because of some idiotic prejudice.

Liberty and justice for ALL right? Or does that exclude GLBT tax paying Americans?
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]