Ashlynn Conner Suicide: Family Says Bullying Was To Blame (VIDEO)

The family of a 10-year-old honor student who killed herself last week said the girl had struggled with bullying at both her school and in her community.

Ashlynn Conner, a student at Georgetown Ridge Farm Elementary School in Vermilion County in east central Illinois, told her mother two weeks before her death that she was being bullied, CBS Chicago reports.

Stacy Conner, the girl's mother, told WCIA-TV that students had been teasing her daughter for years.

"They'd call her a slut," she told the station. "Ashlynn's ugly. She's fat."

Though she realized her daughter was being bullied, she said she did not know how to respond. She hopes her coming forward with her daughter's story may help other families going through similar struggles.

"I thought my kids were strong," Connor said. "That my words to them for guidance and advice would have more weight than what these kids were saying. I was wrong."

Last Thursday, Ashlynn reportedly asked her mother if she could be home-schooled, CBS reports. The next day, Ashlynn was found by a sibling in a closet after she had hanged herself.

The Georgetown Ridge Farm School District issued a statement reporting that they were "very saddened at the tragic loss of one of our children. Our hearts go out to her family in this time of loss," WCIA-TV reports. Counselors will be available to speak with classmates and family members at her former school on Monday.

MyStateline reports that area police are currently investigating the bullying claims through email, Twitter and text messages.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Comments

[arkaytroll]

03:30 PM on 02/22/2012

how can we teach our kids that bullying is wrong when our politicians and business leaders bully gays, workers, the environment, other countries?

[seriously77]

12:23 PM on 02/13/2012

One of the worst parts about bullying victims committing suicide is that it sends a message to the bullies that they won. In a sense, it encourages the bullies to continue their behavior. Victims are truly in a lose-lose situation.

[roonie4]

05:25 PM on 01/22/2012

Parents need to be proactive about sitting down with the parents of the bully and discussing what is going on. Sometimes the other parents are bullies themselves, and don't care at all or believe their child would never do such a thing. This is why many parents are afraid to press the issue and just leave it up to the teachers to handle. But often times the other parents are more than willing to correct the behavior and will work with you to make sure this stops happening.

[OlderMomWithYoungerChild]

07:42 PM on 01/05/2012

I read through some of the comments and they are right on.
Everything begins in the home. We as parents have got to discipline our children, teach them right from wrong. If we don't show or tell them who will? Parents have got to spend time with their children. I learned the most from my child when he slept in the bed with me for a very long time. I made time for him. I wanted and still do want what is best for him. I do believe that a lot of times the teachers hands are tied. What would be wrong with the bullies being put in a class with other bullies and having more than one teacher to guide them? I think some parents need parenting classes. Maybe parents should go to their kids class and just sit and watch. I have done it more than once. We all make time to do what we want to do. Do what is right for your children.

[OlderMomWithYoungerChild]

07:21 PM on 01/05/2012

This is a very sad story. I am so sorry for the family of that beautiful young lady. What bullies don't realize is that one day they may have their own children and their children will probably be bullied. You cannot imagine the pain a parent feels when their child is crying and desperate because they have been bullied in all kinds of ways. Words are very painful. Our children are in school to learn and it is the law. I would strongly suggest to parents of children being bullied to homeschool them. All states have different rules about homeschooling. Homeschooling is not as difficult for the parent as the rules may seem. Get on the internet and check into homeschooling. I have homeschooled my child and it worked out great. I would rather have my child at home than be subjected to bullies. I was bullied also so I know how it feels. Our children cannot leave school when they just can't stand it but parents usually can leave their job or at least find another one. I would rather for my child to not be as social than to have them tormented on a daily basis. Bullies out here try to remember this saying " What goes around comes around." This is a true statement.
w

[Sammie Putterbaugh]

12:28 AM on 12/06/2011

The fact that a ten year old girl or any child at that age, can even know what the word suicide means, let alone how to carry out the action to me is absolutely appalling! This is when we need to stop and investigate schools' policies towards violence between students. If there is a provision that states that any and all reported violent action between students will be dealt with and you feel it hasn't been, go to the police, get a lawyer, go to the school board, do something! When people start dying, that should be the wake up call! Although, it's too late for one person, you might save someone else's life. My parents regret that they did nothing for me when I was being bullied by boys in middle and high school. In high school I was called all the normal variations of the word 'prostitute' and was a virgin throughout. I would still be a virgin today if I hadn't been raped last month. I am one of the lucky ones, but that will not stop me from speaking out and telling my story. And I also think that we need to abolish the 'peer mediation' system, it just makes everything worse.

[Celeste123]

12:43 PM on 11/21/2011

When I talked to the principal in our school I asked her to review their policies and craft them so bullies would not be able to exploit them and get close to their victims. She outright refused, she said she is not going to micro-manage every student. Yet, she claims they are tough on bullying. I suggested that at the end of school she should give every student a form to fill out where they can rate teachers, subjects, activities, friends, and if they have any enemies, or kids who torment them and explain thier feelings toward these kids. By allowing the kids speak, they could plan the next year by separating the victims form bullies or just monitor them. That option alone would halt many bullies because they would know thier name will be on somebody's list and will make them control themselves. But she was not interested. She said the school has enough work already. From my conversation with her I got the feeling the schools don't want to know about these things. If they know they will have to do something about it and if they don't know, they don't have to do anything. Imagine a child being bullied who tells her/his teacher "I am being bullied" and nothing happens. I believe that is exactly what happened to Ashlynn. She was all alone and nobody would help her. This is why she commited suicide.

[kirovfallenangel]

09:39 AM on 11/21/2011

I was around her age in elementry school I was a victim of bullying..I didnt know it until I got into highschool when I finally realized all that pain I went through was bullying...I didt understand why it happend..I told my mom I can deal with it..though it really didnt stop the tears..and the painful memories that haunt me even now...Though as a highschooler who was also bullied in middle school. I had girl tell me she was afriad of our school. I didnt like what I heard..she was afraid to stay after afraid she would be jumped...I immediatly told a person I trusted to deal with it...I dont tolerate ANY bullying in my school...Next day on the bus...She found out it was me who told..She thanked me...I made her feel safe..I told her if it ever happens that you feel unsafe...dont be scared to tell someone. I dont want ANYONE to go through the pain I endured in elementry...

[debs1234]

08:26 AM on 11/21/2011

My sympathy to her family as a mother that had to face reality after loosing my 15 year son to suicide in February I understand your grief and anger. It is by far the most difficult thing any mother can deal with, I am still very angry and wonder at times how you will see the light. I want to wish you all well and will think of you every single day as I am mother to a 10 year old girl and the challenges they face are so unfair and as parents it feels like our hands are tied. My 7 year old is currently being bullied at school I have subsequently taught him to stand up for himself and punch them back, well had to do it only once now he is being left alone. Although this is not the way to handle bullying reporting matter to school got me no where instead shouted at him for picking up flowers from a tree "as this is not allowed at the school". Good luck and be strong talk about it all the time, keep her alive and remember her amazing presence at home has helped me although has not taken away the longing and the pain. Debbie Manthe a grieving mother [e-mail]

[TheNextVoiceofYouth]

03:35 PM on 11/20/2011

As a person who has experienced bullying, I know I would have self destructed if it hadn't been for the friends I had who supported me and reminded me that they liked me for who I am. However, a student's self-esteem is also determined by the adults around them. Parents, teachers, and students need to support victims of bullying by letting them know that they are not alone in what they are going through and that there are people that like them for who they are.

[Celeste123]

11:16 AM on 11/19/2011

My daughter is being bullied by two girls in school as well. She was in girl scouts. The two girls are the troop leaders' daughters. They bullied her there. She quit. Now in middle school the girls are in her music class. One of them the bigger bully wasn't originally in the class but requested the move and she was allowed in. The music teacher offers challenges. The challenger picks up the person, the music, the time and if wins takes the loser's chair. One of her bullies used that challege to mock my daughter. We are still waiting for the challenge to take place but since the teacher doesn't know that this challenge is more personal than just a friendly competition he is also unaware of the consequences. I sent my daughter to school to learn and learn to play music. Instead she is subjected to form of bullying apporoved by school and teachers and there is not much I can do about it. As a parent I am helpless. Every time I try to keep my daughter safe I cannot because of the schools. They are the breathing ground for bullying. And kids like my daughter are suffering because of the ignorance and shallow mentality of the very people who are supposed to keep them safe.

[wacado]

10:22 PM on 11/19/2011

You have the right to take her out of the school and take her to another school. Which is more important: Your daughter's well-being and self-esteem or that she learns to play music?

[hammie88]

01:45 AM on 12/18/2011

A challenge like this is normal in any musical environment, it's not bullying... People who are mad that their kids were unseated need to wake up and realize it's not about bullies or what not. Maybe your kid should be a better musician. She wouldn't be losing her chair. I lost my chair many times in High School, but I didn't cry about it, I studied the music harder and got better, and re-challenged the usurper.

[silsez]

09:20 PM on 11/18/2011

Sounds to me like the creeps in that school won't be needing any grief counseling. Where were all those helpful counselors when Ashlynn needed them?

[Ready for some truth]

09:49 AM on 11/21/2011

All of the children in that school are heartbroken and traumatized. This is a small school with some great kids. The police have found little to no proof of this girl being victimized. The family blames bullying but there was a lot more going on at home than there was at school.

[Devontate]

07:01 AM on 11/22/2011

Source?

[LOVE80]

02:12 PM on 11/18/2011

Bullying is not going to stop unless parents step up and start educating their children. Parents need to start punishing their kids bad behavior. Children don't respect adults anymore, worst their own age. Parents need to listen their children carefully and be part of their lives, not just give them a new i-phone, a mac laptop and lock them in their room, thinking they are at home safe. Parenting is 24 hours job. If you want good and emotionally stable citizens. Give your children love, attention, morals and discipline.

[silsez]

09:24 PM on 11/18/2011

Most bullies don't come from warm, loving, supportive environments. Most of them are lucky they have 1 parent they see 10 minutes a day.

[wacado]

10:22 PM on 11/19/2011

AMEN

[RossEllis]

01:10 PM on 11/18/2011

Suicide as a result of bullying MUST STOP!! Bullying is so painful yet the reality is: We cannot let it define us. We cannot let someone else tell us we aren't good enough. We cannot end our lives because ... NOTHING is that bad, to make anyone end their life over -- not even bullying. And by us defining who we are, rather than giving someone else the power to do that, we all have a shot at a great future. While not all bullying suicides are a contagion behavior -- many are. How would a 10 year-old girl know to hang herself unless she heard it or read it somewhere? We need to stop writing about HOW kids take their lives and write about WHY they contemplate it and HOW they can end the bullying. We need to let them know that there is a future after bullying. Yes -- being bullied is awful. But to take your life and throw away your dreams because another kid or kids are cruel is not the answer. There are things kids can do to stop the bullying. And let's get help for the bullies so they stop this horrible behavior. We just cannot afford to lose one more shining star. My heart goes out to Ashlynn's family. If there is anything we can do to help please contact us.
Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer
STOMP Out Bullying™
www.stompoutbullying.org

[finch2011]

11:00 AM on 11/18/2011

Lesson 7: Schools have a duty to have programs, videos, and counselors in place. Schools also have a duty to inform parents. Girls in 3rd and 4th grade face new social and academic issues. The academic demands in 3rd grade are all based on integrated skills, unlike prior years. The girls themselves are prone to need intervention to get along.

Lesson 8 –very important: There is too much help available to turn it down. Knowing the years are tough socially, proactive therapy is a worthwhile investment. Get open to it. My parents are of the generation that you go to therapy when something is wrong. In 2011, parents are proactive. When you have a child, focus on parenting with all the abundant resources available to you, set aside contrary voices. My daughter has been in therapy since the first instance last year. Therapy isn't about bullying but is for proactive reasons in the totality of life-- a great investment as it helps kids pick up on cues, organize homework, handle friends, impulsiveness, getting on board with home demands, etc. It is simply a great decision.

Fortunately, the new school made great effort on all fronts. The new school counselor rotates lunches with kids so she arranged for my daughter to have lunch with 2 potential friends. She an a class program on bullying with videos. The bully was also demoted a grade in her Tae-Kwan-Do. Everyone pulled together & now my daughter has been truly happy for weeks.