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Online Dating: Women Pick Out Attractive Men From Written Profiles

Attractiveness

First Posted: 11/15/2011 3:54 pm Updated: 11/15/2011 3:55 pm

It's always tempting when you're creating an online dating profile to use a photo that makes you seem ever-so-slightly hotter than you are in real life. But if you are a man, that photo may not matter so much: a new study suggests that women can pretty accurately gauge a man's level of attractiveness based solely on how he describes himself.

Psychologist and Villanova University Associate Professor Rebecca J. Brand asked 50 women to judge 100 online dating profiles for men between the ages of 22 and 25 from an online dating site. The catch? The women were shown the men's photos and written profiles separately, then asked to judge the profile's author or the man in the photo on traits like confidence, sense of humor, masculinity and overall attractiveness.

The results -- which will soon be published in the journal Computers In Human Behavior -- found that women didn't need photos to discern which men were attractive; they could tell based on the confidence level the men displayed in their writing. Brand writes: "Our data suggests that attractive individuals wrote texts (profiles) that conveyed confidence, and it was perhaps this confidence which primarily signalled quality to the women." She adds, "Such confidence may arise from attractive people’s general sense of their high mate-value."

The idea that attractive people have a leg up over their average-looking competition is nothing new: it's been shown that attractive people make more money, and the results of a 2010 study led by Timothy Judge, PhD, of the University of Florida, suggests it may all goes back to -- yes -- confidence levels. His team of researchers analyzed data from the Harvard Study of Health and Life Quality -- a national study following 191 men and women between the ages of 25 and 75 over time -- and found that "even accounting for intelligence, a person's feeling of self-worth is enhanced by how attractive they are and this, in turn, results in higher pay."

But it's also been noted that while confidence is a sought-after and sexually desirable trait in men, it's less appreciated in women, at least according to research results published in the May 2011 issue of Emotion Magazine. The study, involving 1,041 subjects, examined the relative desirability of three traits: happiness, pride and shame, and found that while confidence was judged to be the most desired trait in men by women, it was one of the least desired trait in women as judged by men. Men were more attracted to a woman whose predominant trait was happiness.

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It's always tempting when you're creating an online dating profile to use a photo that makes you seem ever-so-slightly hotter than you are in real life. But if you are a man, that photo may not matter...
It's always tempting when you're creating an online dating profile to use a photo that makes you seem ever-so-slightly hotter than you are in real life. But if you are a man, that photo may not matter...
Filed by Jessica Pearce Rotondi  | 
 
 
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05:28 PM on 03/27/2012
I think the most interesting part about this blog is the last sentence. Men are more attracted to women whose predominant trait is happiness. What an awesome fact! So women, forget getting you hair done, just learn how to be happy in your own skin and you'll land a great guy! I think I learned this fact by experience. It took me awhile to find the right dating site though. Reviews are always helpful. Try http://www.bestdatingwebsitesreviews.com
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Beth Schindler
Fundamentalists worship the same gods--themselves.
12:51 AM on 11/21/2011
REMINDER: Scammers use online dating to try to get money from you.

I had a friend who was quite smitten with someone she'd met online. She forwarded me his emails and they were incredible--"too much too soon" plus some facts just didn't add up. I googled just one five-word phrase from his email and learned all about Nigerian scammers. Then I researched online dating scams and learned it is very prevalent including Russian scammers that mostly target men.
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bdazz
09:29 AM on 11/20/2011
Men like what they see women like what they feel. I think women are smart enough to know who is legitimate and worth holding onto for the most part. I think older women especially given their experience can weed out the ones with questionable profiles.
06:38 PM on 11/19/2011
I don't think it's confidence level. I think it's actual vocabulary. There are a lot of people with online dating profiles who are just not socialized well. These are mostly men. They express themselves badly, use obnoxious or nerdy or embarrassing terminology, are sometimes crude. We avoid them in real life, we avoid them online. If a man expresses himself well and doesn't reveal hidden resentments, he probably is socially comfortable and attractive at least on some level.
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Nick Hatch
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym
12:44 PM on 11/19/2011
Anyone else find it funny that the women posting comments about hating online dating tend to have cat photos up for their profile pic? Dear cat photo women - you're doing it wrong!
01:24 PM on 11/19/2011
hilarious and so true!
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Decipherer
Objects may be closer than they appear
05:20 PM on 11/19/2011
"Subliminable" message, FYI.
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taiwanjohn
02:36 PM on 11/18/2011
> women didn't need photos to discern which men were attractive

Translation: Women don't judge a man's attractiveness based only only on his appearance, they are much more interested in "intangible" traits such as warmth, humor, confidence, etc..

In other (old) news, women get better response with a profile photo that shows her smiling and looking into the camera. Men get a better response with a non-smiling photo looking away from the camera.

(yawn!)

Film at 11...
theaustralian
to the far left of right wing democrats
08:23 AM on 11/18/2011
some of the men i see women with are ugly as sin.
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Hillrick
Still inconceivable...I'm just not smiling anymore
08:22 AM on 11/18/2011
Wow! I met and married Mrs Hill 10 years ago. It's not always been easy but I held on tight and we're still doing well. After reading these, and remembering how bad it can be ,I'm holding on twice as hard!
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Decipherer
Objects may be closer than they appear
05:07 PM on 11/19/2011
Well, the Buddha would tell us that the secret in fact is letting go.
05:43 AM on 11/18/2011
Didn't even need to read the whole article to know it's BS. Online dating is a true minefield. I don't care how hot you are. Mostly fat women abound there. One hot girl sprinkled in the mix for good measure who NEVER replies back to emails. It's all a joke.
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Nero
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
03:20 PM on 11/18/2011
Yep. Just about every guy I know says they get one or two letters per month, and maybe one in 10 respond to letters sent. On the other hand, I have known several women to say that their in-box fills up in a day or two, so they don't even bother to read them all.
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Decipherer
Objects may be closer than they appear
05:21 PM on 11/19/2011
Hmmmm . . . sounds like life.
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James Napoli
I've Been Thinking
02:14 AM on 11/18/2011
I am unattractive. Figure that one out, ladies.
02:00 AM on 11/18/2011
this is where my 9-9-9 plan comes in. it keeps things very simple. drink 9 drinks. make sure the "relationship" lasts less than 9 hours. and make sure she goes home by 9AM. people should try it. it keeps things simple, the people understand it and it's a bold plan. nine nine nine.
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still hopeful at 55
and still changeful at 56
11:41 AM on 11/19/2011
that's actually quite funny! thanks for the laugh...good luck with this!
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Nick Hatch
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym
12:34 PM on 11/19/2011
Should your moniker perhaps be Lucky N9ine? Or maybe the 7-7-7 plan is a little better for your health... and from what my player friends tell me, it's usually them slinking out before 7am so it's not at all unreasonable.
08:50 AM on 11/21/2011
getting out before the sun comes up...i like it...i like it...
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Karissa36
Saving lost boys and fighting pirates.
09:20 PM on 11/17/2011
Excerpt from one of my favorite profiles on Match:

"Looking for lonely supermodel with low self-esteem OBO. I like what you like, and believe in all the things you believe in, as expressed in your profile, perhaps more sincerely..."

This guy wants what the other guys want, and does what they do. He is just more honest about it.
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Decipherer
Objects may be closer than they appear
05:08 PM on 11/19/2011
Paper or plastic?
06:40 PM on 11/19/2011
Bet his ex put that up.
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catmagnet
Independent thinker
02:41 PM on 11/17/2011
I don't even bother with online dating anymore. 99% of the guys I came across on there were either too wimpy to ever approach a woman or were looking for a one night stand. I'd rather be alone than deal with those two headaches, trying to find that 1%.

The other thing that drives me nuts on online dating sites are those guys who can't even be bothered to construct an intelligent sentence. The spelling, grammar and punctuation on most of those profiles is just too painful. Do they honestly think they're going to find a quality woman if they can't even effectively communicate in their native language?
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Nick Hatch
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym
12:39 PM on 11/19/2011
Keeping in mind, when you look for a mate online you are saying "my initial pool will be limited to only those who have a computer and ISP"... not very discreet. At least you find out about literacy up front.
08:38 PM on 11/19/2011
I like your screen name.Catmagnet. It reminds me of when my son put me on a dating sight and you wouldn't believe all the losers that contacted me....I swear it's the truth.....I used to tell my friends. I'm the sh*tmagnet!!!! Until by some miracle, I met my now husband on there. I thank my son for that and actually, he met his lovely wife on a dating sight as well. We're all very hapopy. who would have thunk it??????
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metalsmithgirl71
Just say NO to GMO's!
11:24 AM on 11/17/2011
men on those sites do exactly the same thing.

i gave it a try. i never met anyone i even wanted to kiss.

wow. there was a very broad range of men who checked me out. quite a few weirdos. most of them wanted to call me honey and other ridiculous pet names in emails. one kept telling me he missed me. how can you miss a stranger?

bottom line.. it wasn't for me. it seemed that all they wanted was a cute lil skinny blond. i was like, really. if you can't meet that in real life, what on earth makes you think you're going to meet it on the internet?

the thing i hated most about it was you don't get that first time you meet reaction. you know, you're heart skipping a beat, beating faster, ect, when you've been emailing and talking on the phone first.

i'm not saying it doesn't work for other people, just not for me or anyone else i've ever met. online dating is, for the most part, like shopping for a car. you look at the ad, the photo and make a decision based on that. which is sad. i'm sure a lot of folks out there are still single because they've passed up the real deal and didn't even know it because they were too busy looking and not enough time listening.
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blarneydude
I can handle the truth. Now let's talk about you.
05:38 PM on 11/17/2011
the only way to do online dating is: go for the first meeting in person as soon as possible.

I tend to ask for a date by the fourth email exchange, max. I've frequently gotten the response: you move fast! I got dates with all of them.

Online dating IS NOT DATING. It's a Rolodex. Get past the virtual to the first meeting, ASAP, or don't bother.
05:46 AM on 11/18/2011
...well, some of us guys got tired of waiting for email replies and hopped off online dating sites altogether. I met several women that I kissed and other things but, we aren't together currently. Online dating...thumbs-down.
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topkatnc
Give a stray cat or dog a chance .
10:39 AM on 11/17/2011
A person's looks is always important to most people .. of course we all want someone that's good looking .. to me it's how a man treats you .. not looks .. that trumps looks big time to me , looks are a dime a dozen .. but a good man who treats you right and respects you is hard to find .. and by the way , I like husky men ... no slim Jim for me .. lol .
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metalsmithgirl71
Just say NO to GMO's!
11:25 AM on 11/17/2011
i've found that the things that don't look so good to you end up not being noticeable after you've gotten to know them.