Wild Turkey Bourbon Wants Obama's Pardoned Thanksgiving Bird

WASHINGTON -- President Obama on Wednesday will take part in the long-running White House tradition of sparing a turkey from the Thanksgiving plate with an official pardon. The lucky bird may even have a job lined up afterward: Wild Turkey Bourbon wants to hire it as an official "spokesbird."

What does that mean, exactly? The bird would strut its stuff as an attraction at Wild Turkey's distillery and, in return, would receive asylum from any sharp objects aimed at its neck.

Master distiller Jimmy Russell made his case bluntly, in a statement: "In a manner of direct speaking, we invite the President to give us the bird."

Russell pointed out that the Lawrenceburg, Ky., distillery's recent $50 million expansion, which enlarged the property to 134,000 square feet, would provide ample space for the bird to roam freely and live comfortably. Also, he added, there would be "no threat of future Thanksgiving-related job cuts."

For now, the bird and its alternate are supposed to head to George Washington's Mount Vernon Estate and Gardens after pardoning, where they're slated to serve as a main attraction during Christmas through Jan. 6. After that, they'll live out their days in a custom-built home at the estate.

Previously, birds pardoned from 2005 on had been sent to Disneyland, where they served as honorary grand marshals in the park's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Prior to that, the turkeys were shipped off to dubiously-named Frying Pan Park in western Fairfax County, Va. The change was made after allegations arose that the birds in Frying Pan didn't live long after their arrival.

The turkey's recent job offer is just one of several perks that come with a presidential pardon. Before the official ceremony, the turkey and alternate are staying at the swanky W Washington D.C. hotel, where they'll chow down on W Munchie Boxes filled with acorns, berries and corn.

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Comments

[colin72]

11:14 AM on 11/25/2011

"Bourbon Distillery To Obama: 'Give Us The Bird'"

Perverts.

[charlie53]

12:49 PM on 11/24/2011

good thing he pardon the bird or his ole lady will be kicking his ass,,and he can do it too.

[John Milford PA]

03:20 PM on 11/23/2011

I bet you did not know this about butterball turkeys read before you buy http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/this_thanksgiving_beware_the_sharia_turkey.php

[O K Ali]

06:48 AM on 11/25/2011

Yeah, we know Geller is a certified nut. What's your excuse?

[CMB1969]

11:41 AM on 11/23/2011

Having grown up in western Fairfax County (back in the '70 & early '80s, when it was still semi-rural), I must object to the slander of Frying Pan Park! It is a lovely small, local park with restored late 19th/early 20th century farm on its eastern end (w/ a restored country school house on the western end). The park has that name because it is located on Frying Pan Rd., which in turn got its name from a very small early 19th century goldrush the occurred in north-central VA--ie panning for gold in the creeks.

The fact is that the current over-bred domestic turkeys are VERY unhealthy birds. They can only be bred via artificial insemination, have limited mobility, and (left alive past the standard slaughter points) will typically die of heart attack or stroke as they move past young adulthood. It is no surprise that they were dying early in a historic barnyard setting.

[PivotalForce]

11:44 PM on 11/23/2011

You are absolutely correct. If they want to pardon a bird or two, they should use heritage breeds, not these broad-breasted frankenturkeys.

[Fanny Lebowitz]

11:27 AM on 11/23/2011

You're safe buddy.....until next year

[Trilby]

11:05 AM on 11/23/2011

Yum!

[amitabh a]

08:53 AM on 11/23/2011

Maybe Obama will give them the bird by Not giving them the turkey?

[bruce5676]

02:45 AM on 11/23/2011

wild turkeys ain't white.......

[dvdsn61]

09:32 AM on 11/23/2011

That was my first thought, why would a brand called Wild Turkey, want a domesticated turkey as a spokesbird?

[oberlinkay91]

09:41 AM on 11/23/2011

They're dark brown. I have bunches that like to roost in our trees in the yard.

[glenaurora]

12:24 AM on 11/23/2011

Will Obama keep the turkey and still give them the bird?

[brokerthanu]

10:32 PM on 11/22/2011

It kind of figures the turkey to be pardoned would be white.

[glenaurora]

12:26 AM on 11/23/2011

Yeah, it's been a bad year for yellow, red and brown ones.

[jacmed]

08:07 AM on 11/23/2011

Oh, good grief!!!

[emersmk]

09:55 PM on 11/22/2011

all the money spent on this could feed and clothe several families!

[phdpamela]

08:57 PM on 11/22/2011

Yeah, I think Obama should give Wild Turkey the bird. Sounds like an honorable position for the bird, and a great home.

[shawmajaha]

01:47 AM on 11/23/2011

I love Wild Turkey it is soooooooooooo goood lol

[Annette Hammond]

08:26 PM on 11/22/2011

Well,well now.I just so happen to live in the town of L-Burg.

[Thomas Stieglitz]

07:38 PM on 11/22/2011

Please don't harm a feather on "Gobbles" head.

[belldn3]

07:37 PM on 11/22/2011

Spare thy bird.