Holiday Small Talk: 5 Do's And Don'ts For Awkward Encounters

You're home for the holidays. You decide to take a stroll around downtown and wander into a local restaurant or boutique or Blockbuster (do those still exist?). You're minding your own business when out of the corner of your eye you spot a (vaguely) familiar face. Before you have time to quickly look the other way, walk swiftly in the opposite direction or take an imaginary phone call from your mother, you've made eye contact with an old acquaintance. The unique torture of unsolicited small talk commences.

The web is filled with information about how to deal with your family during Thanksgiving and Christmas -- we offered our own here, here and here. And we've come across many an office holiday party etiquette guide. But how do you deal with all of the old, now (or always) not-so-good friends that you inevitably cross paths with when you head back home (or who head back to you if you still live in your hometown)?

This "Socially Awkward Penguin" meme offers one option ...

or you could read on for advice from Debra Fine, author of "The Fine Art of Small Talk."

According to Fine, the key to avoiding those freeze-ups is understanding the art of appropriate and engaging conversation -- and knowing when to suddenly realize that you have a pressing engagement to attend to. Most importantly, said Fine, "Don't let somebody hold you hostage."

In order to avoid a hostage situation and to not wear out your fake smile this holiday season, here are some do's and don'ts for dealing with -- and getting out of -- those all-too-familiar chance meetups.

Have more advice on how to deal with these awkward encounters (or any really fantastic, holiday-fail stories)? Let us know in the comments!

Comments

[DaveMorin]

01:23 PM on 05/10/2013

My best small talk shortcut is asking more questions. Open questions that they can't just answer with a yes or no. This article explains more in depth: http://socialpronow.com/blog/small-talk-questions/

[Bellanova]

11:39 PM on 11/27/2011

An additional tip for "dealing" with those horrible encounters: try to be genuinely interested in other people. Even a born misanthrope can manage that once in a while.

[mass maritimer]

07:12 PM on 11/26/2011

Funny, I'm hiding in my own house from a cousin who has told one too many lies tonight.....ugghh

[StrawHat]

03:50 PM on 11/25/2011

Jeeze, what social ugliness!!!

How about you turn, smile broadly, show a genuine interest in how they are, ask after their family, shake their hand and tell them that it was great fun having a chance to see them again. Then wish them a very happy holiday and go on about your day, sincerely glad to be alive and able to interact with other people.

There. See? That's what the healthy human beings do -- the ones who are not so narcissistic and emotionally stunted that they see every unplanned encounter with other person as a great trial to be overcome or avoided.

Sheesh.

[Bellanova]

11:40 PM on 11/27/2011

Aren't you a sight for sore eyes, StrawHat! My thoughts exactly.

[Wren Egan]

10:13 AM on 11/25/2011

I find that a good way of leaving a conversation is to avoid saying why all together. Simply saying "Well it was nice running in to you. I hope your holidays are lovely," allows you to leave the conversation without making any excuses at all. Direct and friendly without then obligating you to use the washroom you don't need to use or whatever it is you said you had to do.

[StrawHat]

03:51 PM on 11/25/2011

I agree. Only the super socially awkward want or need to make excuses.

Shake their hand. Smile. Say goodbye. Walk away.

How hard was that?

[lizsandyotto]

08:42 PM on 11/25/2011

Or..whisper I have laryngitis, I must be coming down with the flu. Sorry, nice meeting you. Smile and walk away.