15 Christmas Songs Too Annoying For Words (VIDEO)

There are two types of annoying songs in the world: those that are annoying through some inherent fault, like cut-and-pasted overproduced vocal tracks (Auto-tune), tedious vocal masturbation (Mariah Carey) or Nickelback (Nickelback); and those that become annoying through repetition.

But combine those two conditions and you are a left with a third variety of annoying song that mercifully comes around only once a year: The Annoying Christmas Song. These are the tunes that assault the ear by synthesizing sappy lyrics and campy sound effects with the ambition of pop stars who know, sadly but wisely, that singing a simple holiday tune and slapping it on an album marked "NOW! That's What I Call Christmas!" will net them enough money to take the rest of the year off. But not before the song is repeated over and over and over again everywhere you go.

Here's our list of Christmas songs that drive us up a wall -- but if you disagree -- make sure to vote and explain what songs bug you in the comments!

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Comments

[pixeloid]

11:44 PM on 12/20/2011

I kind of like most of these. However, Justin Beiber, Wham, and The Chipmunks can all be classified as torture.

[andwhatarmy]

10:21 AM on 12/15/2011

Imagine, if you will, being invited by the local oldies rock station to join the cast and crew on the station's yacht for the annual Christmas boat parade in a Florida city. Imagine, if you will, that they (of course) played rock Christmas songs for FOUR SOLID HOURS HOLY COW GIVE ME ANOTHER DRINK PLEASE DO IT NOW AND NO, I DARN WELL DON'T WANT ANY COFFEE. WHO WANTS TO BE FREAKIN' SOBER WITH TWO MORE HOURS OF BLUE CHRISTMAS AHEAD OF US?????

That was the only invitation to a neat event in my entire life that I was truly sorry I had accepted.

[andwhatarmy]

10:14 AM on 12/15/2011

Jessica Simpson's Carol of the Bells: EEEEEEEAAAAARGGGHHHHHHHH!

If my cat had had a cold when his tail got caught in the door...yup.

[Qelz]

07:08 PM on 12/13/2011

Why isn't Destiny Child's "Opera of the Bells" on here? It's horrible.

[deedo8118]

01:06 PM on 12/13/2011

i dont actuallly find gayla Peevey's I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas annoying. I thinks its a funny song showcasing how ridiculous kids can be with their ideas of presents. We portray santa as a man who can give you anything you want and I think its awesome that someone wrote a song about it. not to mention that when your having a family christmas party it a good song to sing-a-long to for the kids. they always laugh when I do it. :) ...but then again maybe they're laughing at me not with me...lol

[humactdoc]

01:50 PM on 12/12/2011

Missing Barbara Streisand's "Jingle Bells"....major HOY!!!!

[pharris610]

12:40 PM on 12/12/2011

"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life

Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow"

These have to be some of the most offensive lyrics in a Christmas song, ever.

[GuiltyUndertaker]

11:34 AM on 12/12/2011

I'm glad Chuck Berry's "Run Run Rudolph" and Bob Seger's "Santa's Got A Brand New Bag" are not on the list. Those songs I can tolerate.
I also love Porky Pig's version of "Blue Christmas," although I'd probably get sick of it after a while.

[GuiltyUndertaker]

11:20 AM on 12/12/2011

"Jingle Bell Rock" should be No. 1 on this list.

And while agree that Springsteen's rendition of "SCICTT" is awful, ALL versions of that song are disgusting. Hearing Michael Jackson's version makes me want to shoot heroin in an alley and die.

[andwhatarmy]

10:16 AM on 12/15/2011

"Hearing Michael Jackson's version makes me want to shoot heroin in an alley and die." LOL. Cripes, five minutes later, I'm still laughing. Somehow, you've summed it all up for all these travesties. LOL. Thanks.

[TheRevV]

11:57 PM on 12/11/2011

There is ONLY ONE good Christmas song I can think of.
Fairy Tale of New York by the Pogues.

[GuiltyUndertaker]

11:28 AM on 12/12/2011

I Believe In Father Christmas -- Emerson, Lake & Palmer
A Christmas Song -- Jethro Tull
Another Christmas Song -- Jethro Tull
Happy Xmas (War Is Over) -- John Lennon & Yoko Ono
Christmas As I Knew It -- Johnny Cash
Santa Train -- Patty Loveless
The Rebel Jesus -- Jackson Browne with the Chieftains

These are the good Xmas songs IMO.
Also, CD "Light In The Stable" by Emmylou Harris (except for Little Drummer Boy, a great album).

[franplatt]

04:33 PM on 12/11/2011

You left out the two lamest ones. Try to spend 20 minutes in a mall this time of year without hearing both of them: the one with the line "He'll be comin' down the chimney down" and the one with the line "There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago." I mean, okay, there are some ghosts in "A Christmas Carol," but they're not very frightening, and that's about it. Who da heck associates Yuletide with "scary ghost stories"? I would willingly subject myself to listening to the Jingle Dogs nonstop from now until Dec. 25 if that would get me a guarantee that I would never, ever have to listen to either of those songs again.

[Pinkasaurus]

04:30 PM on 12/11/2011

I really like "Last Christmas" by Wham! I just heard that Justin Bieber/Busta Rhymes song for the first time yesterday...what a trip!

[memito]

02:56 PM on 12/11/2011

Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano is also missing. I heard it at
the grocery store a few days ago.

[Bigjimi]

02:02 PM on 12/11/2011

Little Drummer Boy annoys me !

[Deborah Beck]

12:57 PM on 12/11/2011

You forgot to post each and every version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Yes, I love Judy Garland but even she made a mistake.

Frankly, I'd like to start a "War Against Bad Christmas Music" in retail stores. My local grocery plays such bad and some downer tunes that I forget half the stuff I need as I hurry to get away from it.