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Gay Spouses In Heterosexual Marriages: Is It Best To Withhold The Truth After You Find Out? (VIDEO)

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First Posted: 12/12/11 12:44 PM ET Updated: 12/12/11 02:37 PM ET

When a gay spouse comes out of the closet, is it better to end the relationship entirely or simply withhold the truth for the sake of the marriage and the children?

That's the question ABC News asks in its fascinating look at 82-year-old Amity Buxton, founder of the Straight Spouse Network, and others who have experienced life with a secretly gay spouse. In 1983, Buxton learned her husband was gay after 25 years of marriage and two children. "My moral compass was broken living someone else's life," Buxton, who is also the author of the 1994 book "The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families," says. "I didn't know what was true or false. I couldn't trust my own judgment...I could always compete with another woman. But this way, I didn't have the right equipment and was doomed from the beginning."

The report also cites surprising statistics from same-sex marriage advocacy group Devote Campaign, which estimates that 25,000 spouses and 3.5 million children have recently been affected by a gay spouse or parent coming out of the closet.

You can read ABC's full report here.

Watch a video interview with Buxton below:

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Filed by Curtis M. Wong  |