12/13/2011 01:01 pm ET | Updated Feb 12, 2012

If Office Holiday Party Invitations Were Honest

It's time once again to grudgingly assemble with your fellow cubicle drones to gorge yourselves on enough cocktail weenies, cocktail meatballs, and actual cocktails to temporarily delay the realization that you have almost nothing in common. But while filling your body with a toxic mixture of liquor and dairy in the presence of several people who can fire you may seem like an awful idea, turning down free booze would be even worse. Make sure to send this brutally honest holiday flyer to your entire office and/or print it to put up on the walls. (By Chase Mitchell for