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Working Moms Happier Than Stay-At-Home Moms, Study Finds

Working Moms

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 12/15/11 06:33 PM ET Updated: 12/18/11 01:39 AM ET

To work or not to work after having children: it's a subject that's been debated over and over again. What's best for the kids? What’s best for women? And wait, what's best for you?

According to a recent study by the American Psychological Association of over 1,300 moms the happiest moms are, perhaps unsurprisingly, those who work part-time.

Full-time working mothers were equally well-off on several important levels, though. Both part- and full-time workers reported better overall health and fewer symptoms of depression than those who stayed at home. The working groups also showed no significant differences in terms of personal perceptions that their jobs "supported family life, including their ability to be a better parent," the study's authors said in a press release.

As for why they might be happier, the authors theorized, "a mother's participation in employment provides her with support and resources that a mother who spends full time at home does not receive."

If that's the case, then where did the part-timers edge out over the full-timers? Well, they were more involved in their children's schools, which makes a lot of sense. And, relative to both full-timers and stay-at-homers, they were more sensitive with their pre-school children, and they able to offer more learning opportunities to their toddlers.

Both groups of working mothers reported better overall health and fewer symptoms of depression than those who are full-time mothers. When that news broke earlier this week that working moms were effectively happier than the stay-at-homes, the blogosphere responded with the lengthier and more articulate equivalent of "duh."

"For anyone who's ever stayed at home all day with young children, none of this may come as a surprise," wrote Deborah Dunham for Blisstree. "I tried attending the neighborhood play groups. Boring. Like, do women really want to sit around and talk about which brand of diaper is best or what their baby's poop looks like? Really? Just shoot me (or give me a large glass of wine. Or both.)"

Not so fast, others pointed out. Mary Elizabeth Williams of Salon cautioned everyone to consider the timeline of this study "before we bust out the champagne and breast pumps." She noted that the 10-year research period began in 1991 and that quite a few things have changed since then.

"It’s fair to ask whether contemporary working moms, whose companies have been radically downsized and whose bosses may well expect them to be fused to their BlackBerries 24/7, are quite as serene as their Clinton-era counterparts," she wrote.

Another key point Williams noted was that the study focused on part-time working moms -- which was defined as anything from 32 hours a week to just one.

Amber Doty, who blogs for Babble, pointed out that while working full-time is great -- and what she has personally chosen to do -- it can come with some nagging guilt. And, this sort of guilt may even be specific to moms. In March, a study found that women feel guiltier about taking work calls at home after hours than men do.

Then again,another study found that a woman's happiness at work depends on how much she wants to be working and especially on the quality of her job. The stay-at-home moms who preferred to be at home had equally low depression levels as the moms who preferred to work and had high-quality jobs. As for the moms who didn’t want to work but had jobs? Well, so long as it was a good job, they were as well off as the two other groups.

On top of that, a mother’s outlook on her ability to balance work and life matters, and an August study found being realistic about what's possible is essential.

In other words, working moms get to interact with supportive grown-ups, and that's a good thing for their mental health. But, if they don’t like what they’re doing with those other grown-ups and they wish they were at home with their children, then it doesn't hold up. And, if they think they won't have to make sacrifices, that creates even more of a mess.

Any sort of evidence that shows flexible schedules benefit families could be considered good news, but there's one major caveat: most companies haven't caught up yet.

"It is likely that many mothers (and probably some fathers as well) would elect to work part-time," the authors wrote, "if this status were recognized by employers as a legitimate approach to building a career while maintaining a healthy family life."

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To work or not to work after having children: it's a subject that's been debated over and over again. What's best for the kids? What’s best for women? And wait, what's best for you? According to ...
To work or not to work after having children: it's a subject that's been debated over and over again. What's best for the kids? What’s best for women? And wait, what's best for you? According to ...
 
 
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05:22 PM on 05/17/2013
I found a great company that focuses on green living and being able earn an income staying home with your kids. Take a look at http://hp.momsprovide.com.
10:15 AM on 06/27/2012
I can agree that working moms are happier than stay at home moms. I was in fact happier when I worked outside of the home and now I feel isolated from friends, family, and the outside world.
10:10 PM on 01/19/2012
It is time to recognize work-at-home moms! We work at home and remain the primary caretakers of our own children. When we have help, we are there to supervise what happens. No nannie cams needed. I worked at home and brought my children up myself. I have been helping other moms work at home for more than 15 years online at http://www.HomeWorkingMom.com. My new book, How to Start a Home-Based Business to Become a Work-At-Home Mom (Globe Pequot Press) contains everything a mom needs to decide and succeed http://amzn.to/tuqjcw.
10:14 PM on 01/19/2012
I also answer home business and work-at-home questions on http://Facebook.com/HomeWorkingMom.
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Taximom5
11:34 PM on 01/03/2012
I work full-time, and have a large family. Yet I have to wonder--what does it say about a mother, if she is happier paying someone else to raise her children for 75% of the hours that they are actually awake, rather than stay home and raise them herself?

Those first few years of my childrens' lives, I hated almost every moment I was away from them. I felt like someone had cut off one of my limbs. It felt WRONG. My babies were supposed to be in MY arms, not someone else's.
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Taximom5
11:28 PM on 01/03/2012
Ever notoice how nobody ever asks a man how he manages to combine a career and family?
04:50 PM on 03/15/2012
yes - my husband works from home and takes care of the lions share of the kid stuff - he has no one to talk to about it and finds that quite depressing.
01:00 PM on 12/31/2011
The new stay-at-home mom needs supports and outlets those first three stressful years, not a part-time job! I published an article yesterday giving tips for what really will help.
http://chaplinspeaks.hubpages.com/hub/Become-a-Healthier-and-Happier-Stay-at-Home-Mom
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JuniperSunshine
Libertarian Homeschooling Mom
03:35 AM on 12/31/2011
The saddest thing in all of this is that what is best for the WHOLE family is pretty much absent. If mom feels great, dad loves his job, and the kids are miserable, how is that a good outcome? The same goes for a woman who thinks that parenting is boring and is becoming depressed at home. I would be depressed beyond belief if I needed to hand over my kids to someone else, so I certainly respect that another woman might be equally depressed about not being able to afford her kids' private school or a second car. I just can't stand it when I am told it's so "obvious" that smart women must be lonely, bored, and somewhat catatonic if they are at home.
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Heather XW
08:25 PM on 01/03/2012
I don't know if that's it.

This is a personality thing.

I have to keep things scheduled and in a fixed routine were everything in the day is known and talked about way before they happen. When I would go to work I would see and have to respond to things spontaneously that happens at times with children but it's within a restrained environment. This is a season in my life but I have to say when I realized that I wouldn't be able to work while being a mom because my son required more of my time I did and am still going thru a grieving process. Some mother's embrace giving up their careers but I thought that I was just putting mine on holed until my son was school age. Now I know that I'll never have continue my career and I do feel sorrow for that because I'm passionate about my field. The time I invest in my son is invaluable and necessary and I love him but I feel I would be an even better mom if I could work a tiny bit because working outside of the home is more like play being a full time mom is the hardest and most unappreciated job a women/man can ever have.
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JuniperSunshine
Libertarian Homeschooling Mom
03:35 AM on 12/31/2011
What a bunch of condescending, smug garbage. They were like "duh"? I'm sorry, I didn't know it was obvious that I would be happier dropping my kids off at daycare. Mothers actually talked about what brand of diapers they used? Horrible! I'm sure Ms. Dunham spends her time casually discussing constitutional law and the latest findings in microbiology when she's hanging out with friends. Perhaps these women were actually interested in improving their mothering through these chats. You get out of homemaking what you put into it. I am a member of Mensa, and the challenges of running a house, homeschooling my five kids, handling my son's autism, and handling the finances are MORE than enough for my brain to feast on. I could just sit around being bored but I choose to work towards improving the entire household, which I find uses the skills I do have and pushes me to develop more.
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Taximom5
11:36 PM on 01/03/2012
Running a home is like running a company--just without wages.
12:12 AM on 12/20/2011
I work part-time and often I'm pulled in too many directions. For one thing, a part-time job is never really a part-time job, you always have to put in more hours. For another, I'm always interrupted by family affairs. Sometime I miss the days I went into work five days a week when there were no interruptions and it was my only choice. Sometimes I think I have too much choice in my ongoing effort to seek a work/family balance.
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Jason Ungar
12:35 AM on 12/17/2011
I wonder what it says about stay at home dads. I don't know about others, but when my son was 3 months old I became a stay at home dad. This after 10+ solid years as a professional making between 50k and 120k a year. Most years around 60-70k My job was not a passion, but I did enjoy my work most of the time. I was a corporate Recruiter/Technical Recruiter. My daughter is now 2. My son is now 4. I could not be happier. I hope to never work again, but I am sure the time will come and will re enter the workplace. I do miss some things, but the things I have instead are way better.
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Allena Tapia
Will write for food
04:24 PM on 12/16/2011
THis is an easy one. OF COURSE us part timers have the best of both worlds, and much less guilt than full timers. I've done all 3- FT, PT and SAH, and easily PT work offers me the best of both worlds: much less guilt as I pick my kids up from school at 230 EVERY DAY, no latch key, no childcare AND/BUT I spend the 5 hours prior to that pursuing my chosen career and exercising my brain.

Also, let's just admit it- those who can choose to work ONLY part time do tend to have an economic advantage. The option to NOT work full time doesn't apply to everybody.
03:59 PM on 12/16/2011
Can we mother take a vote for media to stop trying to cause conflict between us? Some mothers work, some work at home...who cares? People are different, families are different, no one thing works for everyone. Let's all collectively get over it already.
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justkeepswimming
02:41 PM on 12/16/2011
My totally non-scientific, personal experience is that the mothers I know who have jobs are much happier and balanced than those who are home all the time. There's an odd disproportion of bipolar neurotics in the stay-at-home group (in my non-professional diagnosis of apparently crazy women I interact with regularly in school/lesson/club settings). I almost wonder if it's self-selecting, i.e. they find office environments very stressful because they're so high strung so they chose to get out of there when they had the chance. I've never seen anything like the level of obsession and competitiveness about their kids' every movement. But again, anecdotal observation. I'm sure there are plenty of examples to the contrary.
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Taximom5
11:40 PM on 01/03/2012
My own non-scientific personal experience is that stay-at-home mothers are the ones who actually have time to schedule their yearly physical--at which they are usually handed antidepressants.

Seriously. I was offered antidepressants by my OBGYN and by my endocrinologist. And I wasn't depressed. They were surprised I said no. Many of my friends were likewise told that mild post-partum depression was normal AND required antidepressants.
01:59 PM on 12/16/2011
So people are happier doing what they would like to be doing - Whoever paid for the study got ripped off!
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Kelzie01
01:53 PM on 12/16/2011
"I tried attending the neighborhood play groups. Boring. Like, do women really want to sit around and talk about which brand of diaper is best or what their baby's poop looks like? Really? Just shoot me (or give me a large glass of wine. Or both.)"

Um yeah, I do. Deal with it. Like, does it really hurt you that other people have interests different from your own?
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02:37 PM on 12/16/2011
You sound like loads of fun.
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Kelzie01
03:06 PM on 12/16/2011
Just so I'm clear, because I have one area of interest that apparently doesn't match yours, I'm a bore? Doesn't matter that I have dozens of other interests, you're going to judge me because I enjoy talking about baby stuff with like minded people? If you're only interested in people whose interests perfectly overlap your own, it must be exceedingly hard for you to find friends. Although if one of your interests is insulting random people on the internet, there are a suprising number of folks like you out there.